My MIL absolutely hates my maid
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clioclio:
I believe that no maid is perfect, but they must be good at something. If what the maid is good in can more than compensate for other areas, she's worth keeping. In a household with young children, I'll think being able to bond and care for them is top priority as there'll definitely be brackets of time when kids are with maid alone while you go about your chores and you must be able to trust they are in safe hands.Hiaweh:
Why don't you let her handle the household chores and you handle the kids? I can understand that it's difficult at times to even handle the kids alone, so get her to help when you need her but her main job scope is still housework. At least it is clear what her priorities are and you don't have to cover her work and she has no excuse not to do them.
yes that is the understanding.. but really gotta micromanage her (Arrgh!) Like for e.g. Sir & Ma'am's clothes pile up in her room not returned to cupboards. Why? Coz Baby sleep in ma'am's room so when baby is napping (twice a day) cannot put the clothes back. :lightrod: I tell her-- please THINK. When baby wakes up can you quickly put the clothes back!? We have a schedule of chores to be done -- but coz of the kids sometimes last min change...then the chore (e.g. wash toilet) doesn get done. Must remind her (sometimes 2-3 times) then she will do.
Now end up, i will always tell her what to do like, go and change the bed sheets, put them in washing machine then you go and wash toilet etc. Micro manage.
the only thing that is keeping me from saying sayonara to her is --she is able to engage the kids when i am deadtired --she can play 'play dough' with my older 2 kids better than I do! andshe isgood with my baby too. And with a maid around, at least i get to do stuff with my kids which would be impossible if i was maid-less! So with the 'could be better' household chores, i try to close one eye lah.
Sometimes i think i do housework better than her-- before i had a maid (and 3 kids of course) i did housework as a form of destress from work.
Maybe i should do housework and she look after kids! :yikes: but i love bonding with my kids too!
Regarding her sloppiness in household chores, you may wish to give her a timetable and a few guidelines like: clothes must be taken down when they are dry, folded and kept on same day, and max 2 days must wash toilet etc. (This is speaking from same experience when my dh had no more shorts in his drawer to wear cos maid kept the laundry hanging on the poles till she next wash, and then took her time to fold and put it back. The whole \"turnaround time\" was one week!!).
It's good to do a periodic review on her performance. Since you intended to up her pay, you may wish to work it out into a lesser increment plus \"year-end performance bonus\" instead.
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One of friend wanted to up her maid salary from $350 to $450. What she did was, she maintain the salary at $350 but will pay the difference of $100 x the no of months till contract ends. This amount will be paid only if the maid completes the contract. I thot this was a great idea. First the maid will be enticed and will not give prob and will try to ensure she completes the contract. This is win win situation for both maid and employer.
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There is a supply crunch for experienced maid’s now. New and fresh maid’s alot but must train like crazy. That’s why some employers mention that S’pore is the training ground for such maid’s. Very true. If we have a good maid, it’s best to keep her. MIL must also understand this point.
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peapot:
There is a supply crunch for experienced maid's now. New and fresh maid's alot but must train like crazy. That's why some employers mention that S'pore is the training ground for such maid's. Very true. If we have a good maid, it's best to keep her. MIL must also understand this point.
Are you referring to transfer maids who generally do not complete their contracts or are you referring to those really experienced ones like 4 or more years and have faithfully completed their contract(s)?
If it's the latter then how much do you think they should be paid? Say $600 starting salary like HK or $800 like Taiwan?
:boogie: -
Sorry, double post
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ammonite:
right now we never plce MIL with maid and kids together alone unless really no choice. And cannot leave for prolonged periods. I tell my hubby i rather leave the maid at home than to put her at MIL's and then have to endure hours of nagging/complaining PLUS her complaining & bad mouthing about us behind our backs! We used to get the maid to wash our car at MIL's landed property. But after she complain maid never hang the cloth properly, spalsh her garden yada yada, i went to petrol station, bought a whole set of car cleaning accessories and made my maid wash the car at HDB car park. Pay for the water nevermind...just give me peace of mind!!! :siam: hee hee... She feels the desire to clean up after the maid, and at the same time, resentful that she has to clean up after the maid. BINGO! That is how my MIL complained last time-- how she had to cleaned up after the maid..therefore she is the maid and the maid is the queen. I must admit sometimes i too get pek cek... but i just tell myself nobody loves the house except the owner so to her its just a job, to me its loving my home.
don't have a maid myself, but in all honesty, your maid sounds quite hopeless when it comes to housework. People like my mum and your MIL will feel very stressed in her presence. A good maid is not easy to come by, but I have seen a couple that I was quite impressed by. However their pay do reflect their abilities ($500 onwards) and the employers do give lots of incentives (own room, own TV and radio). Even though their duties include children, the employers do bring in a lot of support in the form of relatives staying nearby and personal aesthetic teachers to spend time with the children. It is not just the maid with the children all the time. Totally agree with u... I d un think i can fork out that kind of salary for a maid...so no choice gotta settle for the present maid.
I guess you have to decide what is more important to you. A maid good at looking after kids, or a maid good at housework. If you leave the kids to the maid, the housework will definitely fall aside. In the meantime, just have the maid stay out of your MIL's way. Both will be happier this way. Anyway children grow up very fast, this is just a temporary stage.
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peapot just wanna ask--you said your friend upped her maid's pay by $100 but only payout when maid's contract ends--does that mean her maid's still has maid loan to clear? My maid has finished clearing her loan liao. She has only 9 more months to finishing her contract. Must think of a system to get her to buck up.
My hubby's plan was to give her a 'christmas cum year end bonus', then sit her down talk to her about our expectations when we up her salary. Perhaps i am cynical, but i can almost imagine she'd be super happy and worked very diligently etc...then maybe by February 2012 she'd revert back to her old self.
By tghen i cannot say, \"you so sloppy, deduct your pay/no more increment!\" OR maybe i shouldhave a quarterly appraisal like what some of u said, then give bonus if she did well. But that will mean imust come up with KPIs of what i expect as 'well done', so that it is fair to her as well as tangible to me. or else her 'very good job' is only just 'mediocre' to me.
One thing about my maid --on top of the fact she can play with my kids, she doesn sulk and brood when we reject her requests. For e.g. She asked me if she could get a hp, i told her NO and NO NEGOTIATION. Tell her to discuss after her 2yrs contract ends. She didnot sulk and life went on as usual. A few monthslater she saw meuse my netbook --she asked if she could buy one and get on the internet. I told her No.. my reason was that she might sleep very late surfing the net and wake up late etc (she already woke up late on few occasions in the end my hubby no breakfast before work)--surprisingly she was OK with it. My maid no. 1 wanted a hp 4 months into herjob and when i told her no..she threatened me she didn want to work anymore. I was so stupid i allowed her tobuy hp, provided ikeepit during her working hours. Initially she accepted, later give me sulky face whenever i took her phone. then she say dun wanna work for us liao etc etc. And from this forum i know alot of employers gotta put up with black/sulky faces so that's one thing i m glad she dun brood when i reject her request. But i try to give her other perks like treating her to hair rebonding and allowing her to borrow library books when i take my kids to the library. Then buy her snacks whenever i buy it for my kiddos.
Occasionally she did give me black face (and my hubby also) and i really told her off big time. After the HK trip, my hubby gave her a pep talk --that we value her and treat her well, distance her from MIL to help her, please show us good work and NO MORE BLACK FACE. so far she has not given any black face. *Keeps fingers crossed*. I must say that i have very low threshold for black face! -
clioclio, My friend’s maid has already worked 1 year for her before she proposed this idea. Infact it was suggested by her husband. Think it was a great idea to share. She should have cleared her loan by then. My friend intends to start counting the $100 difference for 2 years. Which means it will almost be like her maid starting pay is $450 eventhough she falls under the old scheme. I guess it was "extra bonus" for her maid.
The maid at least will try to complete the contract as we are talking about $2400 here. She told me her maid is very "on" now. So I guess this arrangement suits all.
I find that different maids may response differently to different type of stimulus. You need to know your maid’s character and use the right stimulus to generate a response. -
clioclio:
My hubby's plan was to give her a 'christmas cum year end bonus', then sit her down talk to her about our expectations when we up her salary. Perhaps i am cynical, but i can almost imagine she'd be super happy and worked very diligently etc...then maybe by February 2012 she'd revert back to her old self.
By tghen i cannot say, \"you so sloppy, deduct your pay/no more increment!\" OR maybe i shouldhave a quarterly appraisal like what some of u said, then give bonus if she did well. But that will mean imust come up with KPIs of what i expect as 'well done', so that it is fair to her as well as tangible to me. or else her 'very good job' is only just 'mediocre' to me.
Just some suggestions.
Most of us employers developed a timetable of work chores and expects the maid to follow. It makes the timetable rather rigid. Initially, this might be good for the new maid but as times go by it won't work as household chores need to be flexible at certain times. Only certain household chores need to be done on certain days, at certain times and in certain manner but other than that the rest can be flexibly executed. I do it for my maid in this way.
In your case, may be you (and your hubby) should sit down with the maid and jointly develop the timetable instead. Let her participate by filling up part of the jobs she's required to perform and the time frame to be completed in the timetable. I believe this will make her more committed to complete the tasks.
As for quarterly performance appraisal come out with a milestone checklist and discuss with the maid on the criteria you're looking for in the areas that needs to be improved. Also talk about the reward you would be giving if she hits the milestone for that quarter.
Regarding handphone and surfing the net it's very subjective depending on how the employer views the maturity of their maid. In my case the maid is allow to use her handphone when's free but I know that she's also using during working hours. I just close an eye as long as she does her job and my elderly is not complaining on this. Smart maids will sms instead of calling because sms is cheaper, silent and don't project to others that they're not doing their job. As for surfing the net I've a tablet bought for her to use during her free time. Unless you've a large family whereby you can occupy the maid most of the time otherwise for small-size family it's better to allow them another way of outside commmunication to prevent them from going bonkers. This also prevents them from having free time to mix with outsiders.
In your case, as an incentive for her good performance, you can have supervised net surfing by you for say an hour or two on certain nights after she finishes her work. I believe she'll finish her work fast and good just to enjoy this incentive.
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The free surfing internet thing could be a good/cheap/workable incentive since we already have wireless. I will discuss with my hubby regarding the increment paid out later thing
Thanks guys for your great ideas :rahrah:
Later gotta meet MIL for dinner later... everyone's stress levels' going up! :nailbite:
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