One of the slowest kid in class...

[Seekinghelp]

Hi all,

I dun just teach him when I'm free. I teach him all the times. I will go through all his hmworks and even make notes of what to study before teaching him. Most of the times, I felt like I'm the student not him. I felt that he doesn't appreciate my effort.

He does like art alot. So long he has finished his homework, basically, we let him do what he wants. He is afriad of his dad, but his dad is a terribly sux guy. All he does is staying out late, drinking and womanising. I really wish my sis will have the courage to file for a divorce. He din set a gd example to his son. What his son does, exactly like his dad. Like father like son, unfortunately, my nephew is not as smart as his dad. :roll:

I only hope that he can just sit still and pay attention to what I say when I'm teaching him, that's not asking for too much. But whenever I ask him to complete the assessment book in given time, he will come up with lots of pbs. Going toilet to shit, feeling hungry, drinking water, scratching here and there or feeling sleepy. I know he's trying to avoid. Always complaining there are lots of homework to be done. Compared to his other classmates, he is considered very lucky, he only have to do the school work but his classmates still have to do their tuition work as well. It's double of what he does. Besides, I dun always ask him to do his assessment book.

[turquoise]

Hi Seekinghelp,


Has your nephew always been this way? I’m wondering if he has a learning disability which has not been detected. For eg., dyslexia or ADHD etc. If so, he might be having problems reading, learning or sitting still and is avoiding studying because it frustrates him.

[Dharma]

Seekinghelp:

Hi all,

I dun just teach him when I'm free. I teach him all the times. I will go through all his hmworks and even make notes of what to study before teaching him. Most of the times, I felt like I'm the student not him. I felt that he doesn't appreciate my effort.

He does like art alot. So long he has finished his homework, basically, we let him do what he wants. He is afriad of his dad, but his dad is a terribly sux guy. All he does is staying out late, drinking and womanising. I really wish my sis will have the courage to file for a divorce. He din set a gd example to his son. What his son does, exactly like his dad. Like father like son, unfortunately, my nephew is not as smart as his dad. :roll:

I only hope that he can just sit still and pay attention to what I say when I'm teaching him, that's not asking for too much. But whenever I ask him to complete the assessment book in given time, he will come up with lots of pbs. Going toilet to shit, feeling hungry, drinking water, scratching here and there or feeling sleepy. I know he's trying to avoid. Always complaining there are lots of homework to be done. Compared to his other classmates, he is considered very lucky, he only have to do the school work but his classmates still have to do their tuition work as well. It's double of what he does. Besides, I dun always ask him to do his assessment book.

Try getting help from the school. You may wish to speak to the form teacher and explain the situation to him/her and discuss what best you and the school can help him. You must ensure all this must be done very subtly without the knowledge of the boy. The teacher or even a counsellor may be better able to relate to the boy and find out the root cause and find ways to motivate him and overcome his problems.

[Seekinghelp]

Hi,

He's quite ok in school. He's quite a smart boy if he wants to but lazy to use his brains to think. There's one time, my sis purposely pushed away the water bottle he's holding onto. It splashed onto the floor and he din even bother to get a cloth to clean it up, just let it be. Sometimes, really feel like strangling him.....

He can be very stubborn and insist his way. Always think that he's in the right...... :stupid: I've no idea how to discipline him. Another sis of mine always asks me to be more patient with him afterall he's still young. To me, he's already 8 yrs old, he should be more initiative in lots of things but he's not. How to train him not to be so lazy??

[concern2]

He needs to learn to love himself Sounds like you may the one to turn his life around :shock: before it is too late

[atutor2001]

Seekinghelp:

....... only after I woke up and get scolding from me....

My apology first. What I am going to write may not be pleasant to you.

I think a child gets more frustrated when he see some one else sleeping while he is struggling with his homework. He would form negative impression. We may not be able to help him in his homework. However, by keeping him company, we share his boredom.

To a child, adults are creatures who only know how to \"scold\". They don't understand how tough and boring homework is.

Allow me to share my experience. I tried my best to share the misery of my children. I don't know Chinese at all. However, when my kids were in Pr, I sit together with them and check the dictionary together with them. I remembered how we enjoyed \"cursing\" the merciless Chinese Teacher together. When we finally completed it, we celebrate by going out to the market to get some tit bits.

Now that they are much older and I am no longer able to help them in their study, I tried my best to stay awake to accompany them when they were struggling with their studies through the night.

Lots of sacrifice but through the process, I understand their difficulty better, become less demanding and our bond grows much stronger.

In conclusion, be their friend and soul mate first. (Easier said than done)

However, your case is much tougher as he is not your son. I guess it depends on how much sacrifice you wish to make. Otherwise, I would just let my sister know that she cannot delegate the responsibility of parenting to others and expect the best.

Good luck.

[Seekinghelp]

concern2:

He needs to learn to love himself Sounds like you may the one to turn his life around :shock: before it is too late

My nephew doesn't like me to sit besides him to c him to do his homework. In fact, he felt pressurized with my presence. He wanted to do it alone but yet can spend hrs just to play with his ruler and eraser in his own room. Just to waste the time until it's bedtime or mealtime. :x How to make him love himself??? :?

[concern2]

A person who hasn't received loved will not know how to love himself and love others. So you need to give him lots of love and show that you care, even if no one else in the whole wide world would. I know. It isn't easy, especially if he isn't your own child. But, like atutor2001 said, it should be the child's mother's responsibility, and not yours. But if you do love him as your nephew, you could at least be there if he needs someone to talk to. Prob. need some heart to heart talk, eye to eye, lots of hugs, like a mother, I suppose.


I am not an expert, but I grew up in a big family with lots of nephews and cousins, nieces..., and most of my uncles & aunts had to work. There were times, esp difficult times when they are the meanest and most unmanageable, and ironically, those are the times when the need the most attention...

[concern2]

Seekinghelp, just my opinion, maybe since he likes art, instead of getting him to go straight into homework, can get him to draw you something. Whether it is nice or not, just appreciate it. Talk about what he draws, it is a way to reach out to him. Even if it is a scribble, try guessing what he is drawing, talk, talk, talk. communicate. let him open his heart to you, and later gently bring his attention back to the task at hand (homework). The bonding will help him relax and concentrate in his work. But all these takes time, and you need lots and lots and lots of patience with him. That's what I have to remind myself with my own son.

[concern2]

Seekinghelp, your situation brings to mind a video I watched recently about a music teacher who gradually took on the role of a mother (for a short time) and inspired a child to become one of the greatest musician.


The name of the movie is For Horowitz, a korean show based on a true story of Horowitz (musician).

Watch this movie trailer on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilx36vWPtZ4&feature=related