In-law problems?

[pacetone]

I’m also one lucky one who has very little or zero in-law problem simply because MIL bochap me and I also rarely bother her. I just respect her by greeting her whenever I meet her. Time to go home, I just said good-bye. We hardly talk and I only visit her once a week or once a forthnight. She has 2 other DILs to entertain her.

[janet88]

pacetone:

I'm also one lucky one who has very little or zero in-law problem simply because MIL bochap me and I also rarely bother her. I just respect her by greeting her whenever I meet her. Time to go home, I just said good-bye. We hardly talk and I only visit her once a week or once a forthnight. She has 2 other DILs to entertain her.

Same here. I don't have common topics with them...I don't yearn to be in control or demand attention. Very happy if I am left alone. It's really HI-and-BYE. This way, it is trouble free.

[fifiyeo]

It didn't used to be so bad for me. I could put up with a lot of \"abuse\" but these days I've given up and I realised that be being nastier, she became \"nicer\". At least now she cuts down on her comments.


MIL used to say this in front of DH and me, \"I not willing to study otherwise all her children will have the square hat!\" :mad: :mad: :mad:
Oh how does that feels? Then ILs got us all to take a big family photo and everyone (the children) was told to be in full graduation outfit except me 'cos I'm only a poly diploma holder, and now it's up on the wall for all visitors to see.

So I sure agree that less talk is better. No need to put up with nasty comments and politics.

[janet88]

fifiyeo:

MIL used to say this in front of DH and me, \"I not willing to study otherwise all her children will have the square hat!\" :mad: :mad: :mad:

Oh how does that feels? Then ILs got us all to take a big family photo and everyone (the children) was told to be in full graduation outfit except me 'cos I'm only a poly diploma holder, and now it's up on the wall for all visitors to see.

So I sure agree that less talk is better. No need to put up with nasty comments and politics.

This 'square hat' thing or 四方帽 drives me nuts. Hubby and his younger bro are degree holders...however the younger bro has a character, personality and attitude that sucks BIG time :mad: He is also a damn big sponger...he took everything I bought for then-bf-now-hubby. His bank account grows as such. When he burnt his fingers playing with shares, his mother gave him $$$ to bail him out. Now he wants the parents' flat.

[Angelight]

janet, your BIL sounds like my BIL (DH’s younger brother) type - self centred, spendthrift, materialistic and with a big attitude. He always passed sarcastic remarks to me and DH when we meet at family gatherings. And when my dad passed away earlier this year, he and his wife didn’t even bother to come to the wake, or send a word of condolence. My MIL did not even lecture him for such rude improper behavior…She spoilt him and condoned his bad behavior, Really made me feel super sian to have such in-laws…thank God DH is NOT at all like his brother.

[janet88]

Angelight:

janet, your BIL sounds like my BIL (DH's younger brother) type - self centred, spendthrift, materialistic and with a big attitude. He always passed sarcastic remarks to me and DH when we meet at family gatherings. And when my dad passed away earlier this year, he and his wife didn't even bother to come to the wake, or send a word of condolence. My MIL did not even lecture him for such rude improper behavior...She spoilt him and condoned his bad behavior, Really made me feel super sian to have such in-laws...thank God DH is NOT at all like his brother.

Hi Angelight,
I dont't mince my words when I tell hubby about his idiotic selfish brother. He is nice to someone (for eg my hubby) with an ulterior motive. Even though my hubby is blood-thicker-than-water type, I still had to tell him that. Like yours, that person is a SPENDTHRIFT too...he alone has 2 or 3 mobile plans, buy latest electronic gadgets, Iphone, Ipad etc etc. I always ask my hubby whether his brother has several mistresses to own 3 mobile plans. Naturally that mother of his is the root of such bad character...she spoils him. What to do, he gives $500 every month.

[garam]

Hi, it been sensitive or what. I am not in a good terms with my sister in law. Everytime my In laws went out with my sil & her husband. They will act very secretive afraid that we will want to follow. But Me & my husband are not interested to go. Even my mil or fil birthday, they will also secretly celebrate for my mil or fil bd. The best part is although we are not in a good terms, she purposely stay in the same block with me. If she really want to stay near her parent, she can ask her parent to stay with her. She will act friendly to me infront of her parent & my hubby, when they are not around. she also totally ignore me. She also blocked me from the facebook. She is always interested of where we go. But when it come to her matter, she will act secretive, even she pregnant, she was like afraid that we will know.

She can really act very well until the whole family think I am the bad guy.

[ningning]

garam:

Hi, it been sensitive or what. I am not in a good terms with my sister in law. Everytime my In laws went out with my sil & her husband. They will act very secretive afraid that we will want to follow. But Me & my husband are not interested to go. Even my mil or fil birthday, they will also secretly celebrate for my mil or fil bd. The best part is although we are not in a good terms, she purposely stay in the same block with me. If she really want to stay near her parent, she can ask her parent to stay with her. She will act friendly to me infront of her parent & my hubby, when they are not around. she also totally ignore me. She also blocked me from the facebook. She is always interested of where we go. But when it come to her matter, she will act secretive, even she pregnant, she was like afraid that we will know.

She can really act very well until the whole family think I am the bad guy.

Hi! Garam,
I can understand how you feel about your SIL. Me too also had two SILs like that too. Always keen to know about our daily life things. But we are not supposed to know theirs nor asked about it. As if i have infringed their privacy. They will either quickly change topic or acted deaf. But on the other hand, they are always very interested on my personal life so the whole family includng their doting parents will comment and mock me at my back. . One of them, even when married also din tell us where her HDB flat was and wasnt invited to her luxury renovated flat. When i asked MIL about it, she remained silent. So we decided not to buy her any gift for her new flat. It was after she gave birth and invited us to her baby full month party then we knew where her flat was. Of coz, we did not turn up. What for? After sometimes, i also behave the same towards them, acted deaf too when i dun feel to answer any their query. Same too, one of SIL will also acted very nice towards me in presence of PILs, then another \"face\" when i am alone with her and talked rudely to me. Oh my PILs had always thought their daughter is an \"Angel\".

I believe all these stem from how a mother taught her children how to behave and respect ppl. Coz my MIL is also the same attitude too. Mine one she wants to knows whereas her daughters' matters, she double wrapped and locked in her secret chestbox. Why?? coz they always ill comment and mock me at my back so the whole family also think same that i will mock them in return if i knew too much.

[ningning]

HI!

Theres this issue has been in my mind for quite sometimes, is regarding CNY reunion dinner. I wasnt sure whether should i let my two year plus daughter turn up at this coming CNY Re dinner? Coz i really cant get along with one of SIL, the unmarried one. She even go around and tell ppl that she dun take me as her elder SIL. For the dinner, i already told my DH that i will give it a miss coz i do not want to see that single and available SIL"black face". But i really in a dilemma on shall my girl attend? coz it breaks my heart, i know that my PILs will make my girl call her "gu gu" . why my girl has to call her "gu gu" when this "gu gu" has nvr once respect me and even not long ago annouced that the mother is not part of the family?? My DH , i know will just sit there watch TV and let my precious girl go round and call her and say "happy new year" to her. How can one expect a junior to respect her, where she has never showed respect for my DH which is her elder bro and me?? Help…

[just888]

garam:

Hi, it been sensitive or what. I am not in a good terms with my sister in law. Everytime my In laws went out with my sil & her husband. They will act very secretive afraid that we will want to follow. But Me & my husband are not interested to go. Even my mil or fil birthday, they will also secretly celebrate for my mil or fil bd. The best part is although we are not in a good terms, she purposely stay in the same block with me. If she really want to stay near her parent, she can ask her parent to stay with her. She will act friendly to me infront of her parent & my hubby, when they are not around. she also totally ignore me. She also blocked me from the facebook. She is always interested of where we go. But when it come to her matter, she will act secretive, even she pregnant, she was like afraid that we will know.

She can really act very well until the whole family think I am the bad guy.

garam, I would said some people are weird! My SIL's family also like that, it has been 4 years since I last saw the family as a whole. Not to mentioned her last birth (3rd kid), since born until now 3years+ i also never met b4 not even a photo. I only saw my nieces twice when they were sick and no choice send to my MIL's place to ask my MIL to takecare. Even my MIL was very secretive about their movement and going over to their place. Hence, I learnt not to ask about their family since most answer from MIL is dunno, never seen them for long time. U believe? But the gifts to them will disappear automatically if u do not see them how to pass it to them? So I hack care lor, just remember to get the birthday gifts for the kids during that month and pass it to my MIL will do, then I considered my part done.