In-law problems?

[LOLMum]

ningning:

LOLMum:

if you really dont want your child to call her gugu, talk to your husband and see if he could go alone for the reunion dinner.


your child can see the grandparents any other time. but what about the first day of cny? you do have to go right?

also this matter is between you and your sil, child shouldnt be caught in between.

i would only stop my child from seeing or acknowledging anyone if they badmouthed me in front of my kid.

I dun intend to turn up for re dinner nor first day cny coz mil had scold me again and again that I am a bad woman and she dun ever want to show concern nor help in anyway to look after my dd. Coz sil is not happy with me that I talked back when she talked rude to me. I was expected to give in to this spoilt princess at all cost coz I am married \"in\" to their family.
As usual mil tot I bully her \"sweet angel\".

Anw mil has never offered to care even \" one minute for my dd\" . So be it. Go or dun go re dinner or First day of cny , I am still the evil bad woman for them and they had nvr lift a finger to help me anything at all. I rather go my mum place and be happy then. Why swallow pride there and be taken like a prey by this pack of wolves. Cny is supposed to be a joyous festive not where I had to come home feeling lousy after visiting them.

So my girl, I am sorry that she won't be closed to her grandparent . Anw I believe they won't miss her also as compared to her nephews. They are \" golden grandchild\" to the old folks . This is life. We dun get all the attention and love we desire in life.

do what you deem fit for all. dont let them spoil your mood and life.

but make sure your dh understands the reasons and is on your side.

all the best.

[just888]

LOLmum,


It’s ok, better dun owe ppl. Give and take lar…Even my hubby would ask what to get for her birthday. I would then just shop for her yearly still… already I am counting myself very lucky already. Afterall, her family does not affects my family’s life at all, just that they only makes my in-laws very busy… heheh…

[LOLMum]

just88,


you have the right and positive attitude.

:rahrah:

[garam]

I can fully understand, mil or PIL will feel tat why their devil dil always bully their sweet angel. The sweet angel always buy stuff for everyone when she go holiday including the devil dil. During dinner always help to offer food to everyone. Oh please, cannot stand this type of hypocrite action. She only want everyone to like her, always want to be in the limelight. 1 incident, I show black face & went out with my child, my mil feel heart pain to see her sweet angel being bullied, my mil told my hubby I never show respect to her, my sil can tell my hubby, it not her who want to blow big on this issue. It’s her mum who react like tar. Wat the hell, if she never backstabbing me, her mum will have this reaction. My mil even want to see my parent wanted to tell them I have no manners. Now I realise tat no matter how, u not the daughter, no matter how long u stay with them, they will always treat u as outsider.

[fifiyeo]

I guess all those who wish avoid relatives should "disappear" on CNY. Like go on holiday.

[auntieM]

fifiyeo:

I guess all those who wish avoid relatives should \"disappear\" on CNY. Like go on holiday.

How I wish de.. ...Harry Potter's invisible cloak will do just fine... :razz:

[r2010]

Hi garam,



When it come to in laws no matter what you do,you are always not their daughter. I am going through the same. This year my Ds did better than my SIL son. So SIL have been going on hardcore basis to bad mouth me to all her relatives. it really hurts me emotionally that a person can go to that extend but I tend to ignore as I feel pity for this kind of person who are full of jealously in their heart. Not too worry, you are not alone out there. I would suggest to not waste time in investing in the relationship that you knows will go nowhere. Just do whatever you feel like doing it. And be prepared that you will not be recognised for any of your good deeds to this \"black hearted\"people. :stompfeet:

[singmathstutor]

Hi Garam, please allow me to offer some comments. I feel that sometimes, we can’t change the what people think about us. Also, sometimes we can’t prevent what others may speak about us. There are all sorts of people around us. Sometimes these may even be your cloest siblings. in your case, I feel as long as your hubby knows who you are and believes in you. That is much more important.

[ningning]

just888:

ningning,


Hugs...How come ur MIL scold u a bad woman? On what ground? Is there any misunderstanding that happen before? Does your hubby knows about it when the incident happens? Sorry for so many questions ask.

That is bcoz she got this thinking that siblings quarrel due to my doings. She had nvr tot that is her spoilt daughter that keep on badmouthed me and behaved rude to me , she always talk without looking at me. My dh sometimes can't stand the way she treated me and told her off. Actually comes to the ridiculous point is that my dh n sil wasn't closed at all even before our marriage , they used to quarrel on their family business stuff also. So it is crazy and ridiculous of PILs to say I caused a drift between sibling. My dh work in their family business and I believe PILs tot they wholly own their son Including me , his wife. Once PILs and their brat all gang together and attack me verbally with all kinds of insults when my dh stood up for me. one couldn't imagine that is in today's modern society
Singapore. Mil even wanted to bash me with an umbrella , its only when she tried to beat my dh, only did FIL tired to stop her, if not he will just stood and watched. Since that day i had lost all repect for FIL. I am an educated
singaporean, I can't believe what I heard and what I had gone through. It's barbarian.

I had ceased all communications with them till I gave birth to my dd. I tot they had learnt , I was wrong again. That brat again \"sick\" again, though i hardly talk to her but she always lied to her parents to smear me. Then as usual PIL tot that their \"sweet angel\" was bullied again. I knew she was
jealous that I can get along well with my dh whereas she just can't. Coz my dh cant stand her temper and how she always acted \"big sister\" to us though she is the junior.

I had since distant myself totally from them like south n north pole. But cny is coming soon, i was in dilemma few days ago. But now I made up my mind firmly, My dd will not turn up at all. My dh will go re dinner and ist day cny. I saw how PIL went all way to \"protect\" their girl that they had hurt me. So if I dun love myself and protect my feeling, who will do so for me? So I can't let my dd go there and call that brat\" gu gu\".

[laughingcat]

Hi ningning, i feel so sorry for what you have gone through. Personally if your PIL treats you badly like physically attack you while you are preggie, then you have every rights not to let your child goes to the re dinner with your DH.