The worst birthday gift

[ppnqq]

Both my child and myself do not mind recycled items as gift but my child dislikes if her friends lied to her that they had made the items personally or was newly bought when obviously it was not made but bought or that it was not new but used. She expects honesty from friends, especially those closer ones. She is fine with used items and appreciate handmade items more because to her, it shows more sincerity as handmade items will need more effort and time and I agree too.

[autumnbronze]

We have been having a 'present opening ceremony' for the past 4 years ever since my DS celebrated his 1st birthday. Its usually held during the weekend after the celebration when everyone (I mean family members) is at home. Photos will be taken and some parts of the process will be filmed for posterity. Its quite a big deal as the whole family gathers (including the extended ones) and we make a big thing about it as DS tears open the wrapper (still trying to teach him to open up nicely so that we can recyle the beautiful gift wrappers but not successful yet). Whether the gift is big or small, cheap or expensive, we are always positive and tend to exaggerate on the \"oooooohhhs\" and the \"wahhhhhhhs.\" I think we ourselves are secretly tickled with the whole process. I myself do not remember receiving so many gifts as a child. I know my DS enjoys this process too.


You may ask what is the purpose of all this??? Well, apparently its 'tradition' that my in-laws practiced with their 3 sons and so we are following it too. It is also a time for me to teach DS that some gifts can be played with, some have to be kept until the used ones turn old and yet some others to be given away as gifts. I have not encountered any old, used or expired gifts .... yet. If I do, it will, as markfch put it so aptly, be another teachable moment for my DS.

Every gift holds value and is to be appreciated - that is the gist that I put forward to my DS - during this 'ceremony'.

[ppnqq]

Personally we do not like to open presents in front of others because some of our guests may not come from well-to-do families so it may hurt their pride as they may feel that their presents are so inferior compared to others and may feel embarrassed. So far, even my family and friends do not have such practices too.

[limlim]

sall:

DD threw a party to celebrate her 13th birthday yesterday. Her classmate, a PRC girl, gave her a used, worn-out purse with the zip almost dropping out. There were 2 used hairclips, both rusty, in the purse. There was also a small bar of chocolate, expiry date: 2/6/2010.

Giving gifts that should be in the rubbish bin long ago shows a total lack of sincerity and respect for the host. This girl is from a well-off family, stays in condo and taking ballet lessons.
Wonder if other parents have such experience?

Take picture of gift, post on FB..

[UncleLim]

sall:

DD threw a party to celebrate her 13th birthday yesterday. Her classmate, a PRC girl, gave her a used, worn-out purse with the zip almost dropping out. There were 2 used hairclips, both rusty, in the purse. There was also a small bar of chocolate, expiry date: 2/6/2010.

Giving gifts that should be in the rubbish bin long ago shows a total lack of sincerity and respect for the host. This girl is from a well-off family, stays in condo and taking ballet lessons.
Wonder if other parents have such experience?

Sometimes it is just the parents' doing.

My family gets rubbish packaged as gifts all the time. Especially from relatives who know that we are very \"simple\" (dressed simply, simple car, simple tastes etc).

Our children received gifts that (1)are obviously recycled (2)have been used (3)damaged and some even (4)have parts or pieces missing.

The irony is that these are the very same people who reward themselves and their own children with the very best in life: horse riding lessons, expensive watch collection, skiing holidays and cameras costing 5-figure sums.

[sall]

UncleLim:

Sometimes it is just the parents' doing.

My family gets rubbish packaged as gifts all the time. Especially from relatives who know that we are very \"simple\" (dressed simply, simple car, simple tastes etc).

Our children received gifts that (1)are obviously recycled (2)have been used (3)damaged and some even (4)have parts or pieces missing.

The irony is that these are the very same people who reward themselves and their own children with the very best in life: horse riding lessons, expensive watch collection, skiing holidays and cameras costing 5-figure sums.

Like parents, like children. My mil used to give me rotten fruits that had been left on the altar for weeks. Some apples were already mouldy and the oranges stank. Imagine my fury when I saw those. Then once, I overheard her daughter talking about giving some very rusty canned food to the cleaner. Then when fil passed away, she wanted to give the sweeper the food offerings on the table. Some people may feel that at least mil took the trouble to pack those rotten fruits for me and the daughter also took the trouble to pack the food unsuitable for comsumption to give the cleaner. I feel that it is the meanest thing to do - to give broken stuff and food not fit for consumption to others.

[tutormum]

I like to share on this topic of gift giving and gift opening.


DH has a SIL whose behaviour is really appalling. We stayed with her and my PIL while waiting for our own flat after marriage. When DS1 was born, I intended to open the presents from well-wishers at a later time as I wanted to display them for a while. However, she insisted on me opening up the presents as she wanted to see them. She was so insistent that I felt paisei not to adhere to her request esp in front of PIL. Worse, she was 'so kind' that she wanted to help me open them that literally she was the one doing it. With every present opened, she would make remarks like \"ooh, this is from your so and so...\" etc. I was very angry but kept my cool. On another occasion, my cousins from overseas left me a packet of beef jerky as a token of appreciation for taking them around during their visit. I was at work when they came. When I returned from work and having my dinner, my SIL matter of factly told me about my cousins' gift and then opened the packet of beef jerky for everybody to eat. I was like \"did I say anything about opening and eating?\" At least wait till I had finished my dinner. :stompfeet:
When I moved to my new flat, she announced that she would present me with a rice cooker. As her husband owns an electric applicance shop, I thought nothing of it. Meanwhile, one of my colleagues wanted to have a rice cooker and knowing about the gift, requested that I in turn give it to as her wedding present. I was embarrassed when my friend showed me the rice cooker when I visited her. The rice cooker though unused, was not 'new'. I didn't examine the gift as I thought it unnecessary but the rice cooker itself is sort of covered in a film of rust. As my friend knew where it came from, she didn't blame me but oh boy was I :stupid: :slapshead: Though it came in a box with the necessary packaging, it was obviously sitting on the shelf for years. :oops: :oops:

[tutormum]

sall:

UncleLim:

Sometimes it is just the parents' doing.

My family gets rubbish packaged as gifts all the time. Especially from relatives who know that we are very \"simple\" (dressed simply, simple car, simple tastes etc).

Our children received gifts that (1)are obviously recycled (2)have been used (3)damaged and some even (4)have parts or pieces missing.

The irony is that these are the very same people who reward themselves and their own children with the very best in life: horse riding lessons, expensive watch collection, skiing holidays and cameras costing 5-figure sums.

Like parents, like children. My mil used to give me rotten fruits that had been left on the altar for weeks. Some apples were already mouldy and the oranges stank. Imagine my fury when I saw those. Then once, I overheard her daughter talking about giving some very rusty canned food to the cleaner. Then when fil passed away, she wanted to give the sweeper the food offerings on the table. Some people may feel that at least mil took the trouble to pack those rotten fruits for me and the daughter also took the trouble to pack the food unsuitable for comsumption to give the cleaner. I feel that it is the meanest thing to do - to give broken stuff and food not fit for consumption to others.

I don't mind taking used things if they are suitable. One of my friends :oops: before she gives will always ask me if I don't mind taking over her children old books etc. I'm very happy to receive them. I also recycle them by giving them to friends whose children are younger than DS3. When it come to things like food stuff, we have to be careful. My SIL always did the same thing as your MIL. There was once that I mentioned that the oranges were rotten when my MIL asked me to bring some home. My SIL remarked that I was ungrateful - xian san xian si - even when getting free stuff. She acted generous in front of my MIL but actually giving things that she herself would not consume. My other SILs also received rotten stuff from this SIL. What we did was just take and bring home to throw away. :rant: