How to tell if a child is gifted?

[ConcernedDaddy]

interesting thread!

[solochn]

Hi,


He seems to gifted of sort. I am not too sure really.

My Child is almost 5 now and when he was 3 he can do a 200 piece puzzle by himself. He enjoys it very much and can do and dismantle and redo the same puzzle countless time. We never thought much of it. Just kept buying him puzzles.

Until now… He is almost 5 and is able to complete a 1000 piece puzzle mostly by himself. We have done about 3 sets of 1000 already and is not able to buy a bigger one for him because he cannot handle the size. He however prefer someone to do it together with him. And as before he likes to complete and dismantle and redo the same puzzle over and over again.

Now here is the interesting part… After completing a 1000 piece puzzle the first time ,with some help from us. On the second attempt onwards, I can give him any piece of puzzle and he knows exactly where it goes most of the time. After a few more attempt on the same puzzle he can do it with uncanny accuracy. He can place a piece in the middle and tell you it belongs there.

We are now doing a 1000 puzzle of ‘The last Judgement’ by Michelangelo, it is not an easy one to complete even for an adult, its the most difficult one we have done so far. We are on our second attempt and he is displaying the same ability once again.

Much as I want to shower him with puzzles, which he really love. I just need to know if he is gifted or just has a very good memory, or if there are any other kids like him.

Does anyone has a similar experience? Please share.

Thank you.

SC

[2ppaamm]

Hi SC,


Of my 5 kids, I have one who is extremely interested in puzzles as well. That would be my youngest child. I can recall him starting to do puzzles very young, before he could talk. He would arrange them and smile happily. They are very few pieces, maybe 20 or so.

His interests in puzzles continued until he started primary school. I stopped buying puzzles because I have no time to go to the shop, and he also stopped assembling them because I am a neat freak and would keep everything and forget to bring them out. I remember his uncles and aunts used to be amazed by the rate he could do puzzles and his accuracy even before he turned one. I took no notice of it.

I am not sure if he is gifted or not, he is only in P2, and it is not that important. Come to think of it, maybe I should go and buy some puzzles since he used to like them so much. I don’t do them with him, or guide him. He just walks around the puzzles and puts them in place as a child. Fun to watch.

Have fun with the child!

[laughingcat]

My DS1 also loves to read, draw and play puzzles as well. Likewise he can do 1000 pieces of puzzles. He can even fixed starwar lego than is meant for age 12 and above. To me i don’t care whether is he gifted or not. Personally it is early to be label as such. A quick hasty labelling is unnecessary as it will give an unwarranted expectation and disappointment. So what if the child is gifted or not? Does it means the provision is based on giftedness?


To me I just want my DS to enjoy childhood and all i ever do is to provide as much as possible in my capacity and support and loves to spur him on. That is more important.

[solochn]

Thanks for the reply.


I agree with laughingcat that it does not matter if our kids are gifted or not. But we’ll need to know their ability, in order to create the best environment for them. Expectation and disappointment depends on individual parents and has nothing to do with the child. Having a gifted child is as good as having on that has learning disabilities, in terms of responsibility to the child. Hope you can understand what I am getting at. Just my 2 cents worth. Please do not be offended.

By the way laughingcat, how old is your DS1?

[laughingcat]

DS1 is K2 next year.


Why i am saying that it is unnecessary to label your child is because of my past. My father used to tell his relatives and my mum how intelligent and gifted I am among my sibilings. Each time after the release of the exam result, he will surely repeat those remarks. However these remarks really made me very uncomfortable because i can sense the negative vibes from my elder sibilings and worse from my mum because she can’t accept the fact that her only DS is not. It came to a point that it just sour the relationship and abusive action follows on. Many a times, i just felt so left out just because i am "smartest" ones. It just hurt.

Labelling a child like that may not necessarily be good. Parents will be parents. Sometime actions maybe for the goodness but subconciously it can turn out to be negative to others. Acceptance is another.

You do not necessarily need to know the child’s ability to create the best environment. As a parents, you just create the best environment in your capacity to improve ypur child weaknesses. That is my humble opinion yeah based on my bad past. Pls don’t slam me if my remarks is offensive as i didn’t mean it that way.

[mashy]

Hehe, I think gifted kids are actually problematic ones coz they won't accept your answers readily and give teachers a headache by doing things their way. They take things apart and question authority. It's a huge responsibility of the parents to give them the right nurturing.


If kids are obedient and smart, they are probably just bright not gifted.

[Happyfate]

laughingcat:

DS1 is K2 next year.


Why i am saying that it is unnecessary to label your child is because of my past. My father used to tell his relatives and my mum how intelligent and gifted I am among my sibilings. Each time after the release of the exam result, he will surely repeat those remarks. However these remarks really made me very uncomfortable because i can sense the negative vibes from my elder sibilings and worse from my mum because she can't accept the fact that her only DS is not. It came to a point that it just sour the relationship and abusive action follows on. Many a times, i just felt so left out just because i am \"smartest\" ones. It just hurt.

Labelling a child like that may not necessarily be good. Parents will be parents. Sometime actions maybe for the goodness but subconciously it can turn out to be negative to others. Acceptance is another.

You do not necessarily need to know the child's ability to create the best environment. As a parents, you just create the best environment in your capacity to improve ypur child weaknesses. That is my humble opinion yeah based on my bad past. Pls don't slam me if my remarks is offensive as i didn't mean it that way.

:goodpost: i agree with your opinion.

[2ppaamm]

Over the last few weeks, I was packing my shelves and house. I chanced upon a lot of stuff that I have forgotten: Glenn Doman books, IQ books etc. It reminds me of how anxious I was when DS1 was a little boy and I had only 1 child. I too was anxious to know if the little one was gifted. In fact, I had thought of setting up an association for gifted children. I changed my mind when a more experienced parent told me that was being elitist.


Now that DS1 is approaching 18 and graduating from his first degree, and now that 4 of my children have completed childhood, I realized how too anxious I really was. And, much as I was anxious to find out if junior was gifted, to find ways and means to ‘nurture’ his giftedness or the lack of it, it turns out that the less anxious I was, the better the outcome.

Most of my kids strive to please me in what they do when they were little. So, when I sent them for classes to help them realize their potential, the kid place immense pressure on himself to do well. For DS1, it was the piano and Maths. As a consequence, he became really afraid of his first music teacher (to this day), and he’ll tell everyone he sux at maths even though he topped his P6 school cohort with a close perfect score (99.5%) at prelims. He chose, instead, to pursue things we did not focus on. He chose to major in art, philosophy, and the guitar. Seeing his interests in any of these, I would suggest he find a good teacher, his answer is always no, it would kill his interests. That said, he is matured and driven enough to understand the importance of formal qualifications, and is willing to get those papers as and when required.

Fortunately for this boy, I was clueless about giftedness and there was no kiasuparent website to help. Back in those days, information was not as readily available as today. I just did whatever came along, and researched to find things that suited us. If I had known that he is omni-gifted (according to some EPs), then I think I would have become over enthusiastic and probably spent too much effort trying to help him realize his gifts. It is great that I had no time before he turned two, I had too many children, and I didn’t know whether he was gifted or not. Because of all these, he got to pursue things we never thought he would, we tried and ventured out beyond boundaries, we ignored saintly advice to send him for this class, that class, this enrichment, that olympiad, this writing competition, that sporting event, train x times a week, that particular drawing class, this fantastic composer teacher… etc etc. We just did things that we felt was fun and wanted to try, and made silly mistakes. As a result, DS1 grew up very normal, fun loving and has a very good EQ along with nice achievements in sports, academics, music and art.

Hence, as a mother, I would not bother to find out if the kid is gifted or not, because it makes no difference in how I would raise my child. If I feel he has mastered his materials well, I will advance him, regardless of what the school/the world thinks. If he needs more time than the slowest child in class to complete a piece of work, then so be it. There is no pressure. I am my son’s parent, I decide what pace he moves together with him. Not the school, not the education system, not the teacher, not his age, certainly not some stranger who claims to be an experienced gifted teacher but has no love for my kid. And certainly, not how gifted he is, but what he wants to do, how ready he is and how I can/cannot support him.

I have used this same method for all the other 4 kids, and 3 more made it university that way. I will repeat the same with my number 5 who is 8, and yes, I don’t know if he is gifted or not, but I know he is learning what I feel will get him somewhere, and hopefully he too will make it to the university in another 5-6 years, but if he takes another 10, that’ll be fine as well.

[jedamum]

2ppaamm:

Fortunately for this boy, I was clueless about giftedness and there was no kiasuparent website to help.

fortunately for you...if you have been any more kiasu...you would have been too caught up in focusing on your firstborn and would not have time to go on and have another 4 great kids. once again...:udawoman: