How do you handle questions about mortality?
-
Life is so unpredictable. I was just receiving email from Prof Ooi on Monday and then got notice that he was killed on Tuesday by a lorry while walking home from NUS along Clementi road. In less than 24 hours he was gone. It is very sobering and we feel so sorry for his family for their sudden loss. For us that remain, we should re-evaluate our priorities in life as we approach the inevitable. In the end, it is the memories that count.
-
My daughter, now six…ask this question too, a year ago…(maybe i still look young to her, she relates to por por)…
I explained to her that our body aches…but even when we are not around next time, its just that our body already ‘spolit’ and thrown away - burn I mean…but we will still be watching them and blessing them…forever!! Isn’t it?? At least, we wish! -
Whenever my daughter ask me when ppl will die, my generic answer is when they reach 100 yrs old, lol. She is terribly afraid of us dying, and will start crying if we tell her we will all die one day. So I have to reassure her that we are still far from 100 yrs old, so don’t worry so soon. It’s quite heart-breaking when she break down into tears saying "I dont want mummy to die, I dont want daddy to die, I dont want mei-mei to die…" Aarrgh…
-
ChiefKiasu:
...In the end, it is the memories that count.
I had a slight twist to this perspective. I told my son that whenever he thinks of us (after we are gone), remember to do the good thing that we did and avoid the bad things that we did. And remember to teach his children that too, so that our family can \"evolve\".
-
I was hit by this question yesterday. It started with China tainted milk & we have been drinking the strawberry Daisy milk for years. He wondered when will he die which I told him it’s something we can’t foresee. Next question, will the body rot when a person die? Err… yes, body will rot unless the body goes through embalming process. Will we meet again after death (he started sobbing by then). I replied, I believe we will in a different world & a different life. Next question, how will I recognize him, will his face change? Err… A mummy will always recognize their own child no matter how much they have changed. Will you love me still when I change? Yes, mother love is unconditional. Takes a while to pacify his sobbing. Even my heart was breaking when I try to answer his question.
-
EN:
...Even my heart was breaking when I try to answer his question.
It's heartbreaking. Everybody fears death, but it is only when we are able to see it through the eyes of our children who would miss us that we can put it in perspective. -
joining in the conversation late, but I'm seriously :shock: by my 4 year old's various take on mortality. Anyone else heard similar stuff from their child?
He first worried us by reenacting the crucifiction.
Months later, I overheard him saying he wished he could die and start his life all over again (when he will go to school later in life).
When I stressed that he couldn't and there's only one of him, he said DH and I can hve another baby, give the baby the same name, same haircut, same clothes, and we'll have the same-named baby again! :shock:
After we sorta` fixed his school issues, he was all sugar and spice. One afternoon, out of the blue, he said,\"I love you Mummy. I love you so much I wish you can grow again after you die. Because I would miss you and I love you forever. But I know you can't. I just WISH.\" Then he gave me a BIG smile, turned and walked off. :shock:
Then recently, he said - isn't it lucky that you have two children? So if one dies, you'll still have another one left! - again, a knowing smile, and off he went. :shock: -
deminc:
Wonder your child get those idea and knowledge from. But I do feel that it sounds concerning that there is a notion that just by dieing life will start all over again. It do sounds like the concept of playing a computer game where if things don't work out, we can just restart from last level or start all over again.joining in the conversation late, but I'm seriously :shock: by my 4 year old's various take on mortality. Anyone else heard similar stuff from their child?
He first worried us by reenacting the crucifiction.
Months later, I overheard him saying he wished he could die and start his life all over again (when he will go to school later in life).
When I stressed that he couldn't and there's only one of him, he said DH and I can hve another baby, give the baby the same name, same haircut, same clothes, and we'll have the same-named baby again! :shock:
After we sorta` fixed his school issues, he was all sugar and spice. One afternoon, out of the blue, he said,\"I love you Mummy. I love you so much I wish you can grow again after you die. Because I would miss you and I love you forever. But I know you can't. I just WISH.\" Then he gave me a BIG smile, turned and walked off. :shock:
Then recently, he said - isn't it lucky that you have two children? So if one dies, you'll still have another one left! - again, a knowing smile, and off he went. :shock: -
I think a little fear of death is healthy. I’ve also been hit a few times by my DD telling me in tears, "Daddy I don’t want you to die". More recently she even told me that if I die, she also wants to die with me. (Which is MY line actually). I’ve told her that it’s natural that I will die first, because I am older.
Beyond this, I tend to use mortality as a means of warning. Eg. when crossing roads, poisonous substances, electricity, etc. So long as she doesn’t go all paranoid or hypochrondiac about it, I’m fine. -
phantom:
Wonder your child get those idea and knowledge from. But I do feel that it sounds concerning that there is a notion that just by dieing life will start all over again. It do sounds like the concept of playing a computer game where if things don't work out, we can just restart from last level or start all over again.
We wondered too! He doesn't play computer games and his TV usage is very limited and fully monitored. The only \"live and die\" again concepst I can think of him getting is from his Catholic preschool. We've pulled him out already. Another is the mythical phoenix.
He is surprisingly sensitive to other issues like poverty and hunger, and animals, but when it comes to death ... :shock:
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login