Another broken marriage

[concern_mum]

hi, i have the almost similar situation few years back. He quarrelled with me over nitty-gritty issue. He will not apologise to me even if he is in wrong. Everybody is wrong except him. He will not bother to call or sms me even i left the house after a fight middle of the night. He would show infront of the salesman that he is angry with me if i choose something that he think is urgly. He will scold me in frount of our maid and kids. He shouted and screamed at our kids. He would beat them up if they mis behave. I almost divorced or separated with him if not because of the children. I bear with it for almost 16 years untill 1 day, i told myself i cannot take it anymore and did a divination at the Guang Yin Temple as i have nobody to share with. I do not share with my family as i do not want them to worry. I was told to bear with it and accept him as it is. After that day, i told myself to take things as it is but miraculously, he changed to be a better husband since last year. He showed more concern towards the kids and I, less hot tempered and do not fight with me so often. Not too sure is this due to his religion that he is more involve now. My advise to you is, speak to him, tell him what is in your mind and what you think both of you should do to keep the family together. Separation should always be the last resort. As long as he still care for the family, you should give him and your kids anothe chance.

[happyheart]

Dear Shy,

I am quite sure all married couples have some disagreements at some point, and issues with in laws are amongst the common one. Don’t be discouraged, have a chat with him and agree on the frequency to visit each other’s family. Everyone has same amount of time at hand so forcing one to visit another family more is not exactly the fairest request. Believe that what you work out between the 2 of you can work, and it is for the better. Find out what is he unhappy with. Help him understand you & kids would appreciate happy family time with him as well (i.e you, your husband, kids).

At your end, be strong and refrain from saying negative things about your husband in front of your kids. They will observe & grow to understand the situation themselves. If it is not directly from you, they will respect you as a person.

[sane]

Your hb seems to be bottling up his feelings n bursting at the wrong time and way. There is definitely a communication problem between both of you.


It takes luv, time, patience to mend the bridge and to re-kindle the lovely-dovey feel again. Ask yourself, do you still luv him? if so, change your mindset before u can influence him to mellow too.

Since his sis is staying with you, why not just leave the kids at her care while both of u go for a date, movie, nice dinner and take this opportunity to communicate? Even with kids, it will be nice for couples to go for a date at least once a fortnight.

At times when he raise his tone unconsiciously, calm him down by touching/stroking his arms saying \"dear, the kids are around, can we just talk about it in a subtle manner\"?...talk things out in a mature n calm manner, understand both point of view..listen before voicing out your opinions. Sometimes when we are in a heat of anger, we say things that we do not mean it n hurt each other.

Lastly, don't walk away without talking things though... all issues can be solve thru communication n by saying :imsorry: at times doesn't mean tt we lose .. it's tt we treasure the r/s than our face..

Take a step back n things are not as serious as what u've tot.. im sure both of u still luv each other. Don't give up trying n all best for 2012

[JuniceSoh]

At least you have someone by your side. im alone with my 10 year old

[comfy]

JuniceSoh:

At least you have someone by your side. im alone with my 10 year old

Yah... Are u coping well?

[winnie_pooh]

Hi Junice


i’m in similar suituation as you…

You can PM me. We can chat