Parents, not enrichment centres, are key to result
-
insider:
It may not be possible for you to know enough about my kids and I to know when I should be hard-hearted and when not. My DS has an emotional and developmental history that you are unfamiliar with. You are also not privy to some of the long-term deliberate strategies I have implemented for their holistic development and how it throws off my plans for emotional and character development to have failure happen in P5.
Base on my reading of your son, he has the high potential to auto-develop heuristic himself by the time of end P5 if you have patience / hard-heart to give him more time before giving him 'heuristic training' (the 'Ah-Huh' moment will come for most at least average kids and/or hardworking kids. For most below average kids, it will be good enough if they can even master concepts.) .
So whilst I thank you for your kind advice to be hard-hearted, I would simply have to tell you that I know better than you do when it comes to my own kids. It is nice of you to share though because other Mommies may want to follow your advice to be hard-hearted.
:thankyou:insider:
The current PSLE actually tests to a large degree hypothetico-deductive skills (theoretically a later stage of development which does not happen before age 12). I make no judgment of whether this is good or not. I just want to help my DS through the PSLE and if hypothetico-deductive is needed, then we will have to help him get there no matter what Piaget says about cognitive development.Kids' brains need time to be really 'concrete operational' but some (not all) schools are moving down materials unnecessarily earlier for them for the so-called 'preparation of PSLE'. After your son has learnt so much, I am pretty sure that he has nothing much left to learn when he is in P6... (basically some schools 'accelerated' learning unnecessarily. I call these schools 'sick schools'. That's the main reason why I always feel 'I have time' but some parents keep thinking 'got no more time' when our 'pacing' of the requirements is different.)
As for having nothing much to learn, I think it's a good problem to have. Once the academic stuff is out of the way, we intend to go off to Europe in June... and also take time off nearer the PSLE. We prefer to party the night before exams... and better still if we can relax 1 or 2 months before exams. We're also quite pleased to now have time for a fascinating new CCA outside school... as well as find time to write a short Science Fiction story of 3000 words. It was great fun!! We have more leisure time. Not a bad thing.
insider:
I don't think my DD did any assessment book at all. I bought 2 which she never touched. Whether Teachers taught or not didn't matter to her (so it didn't matter to me) because DD had access to all the university libraries and e-libraries. Books that were particularly helpful, we shipped in via Amazon. I don't think she approached the Teachers very much. I remember that Teachers expected them to find things out on their own. A good library is already a very good teacher, and a teen is old enough to navigate quite independently amongst multiple libraries.When in sec schools, the issue of 'schools not teaching enough / not providing adequate material' maybe worst. I don't really bother about my kids' education (as in tailing behind what they were being taught in schools, what topics, etc) and so I don't get 'burnt' in that sense. However, it is expected from my kids that if they cannot understand, they have to find ways to bridge the gap themselves (usually via teachers but mostly via exchanging notes with friends). I did not buy a single assessment book for my two elder kids when they hit sec levels simply coz I didn't know what and how to buy anymore... (meaning all those assessment books, if any, that they bought were either recommendation from their schools or friends and they practised and marked on own from Sec 1 onwards).
insider:
You might not have meant it but I am puzzled. :scratchhead: In advocating that I understand my child, are you thinking I don't understand him? In advocating that I give him my confidence, are you again judging that I have no confidence in him? Why would you conclude that based on my willingness to teach him heuristics? It's a bit of a long shot I think. :scratchhead:I advocate understanding a child and give him the due confidence and time for him to proof himself without 'acceleration'. If parents can do this, then 'effortless parenting' is highly probable...
Maybe I am mistaken. Perhaps you were just chit-chatting and sharing generally. In that case, I would have to say I quite agree with you that we must have confidence in our children... and understand our children. :goodpost:
Thanks for taking the time to write and share. I am sure that even whilst I myself would not follow up on your kind advice (for reasons of my own particular situation), what you have written will be useful to parents in other situations, for it is good and sensible advice.
-
I do think that parents are the key to result not enrichment centres.
Unless the enrichment centres are the real good ones that provide good & up to date resources with dedicated teachers to every of their students there.
Also, provided, the students are self motivated ones and can learn in a big group.
For my younger DS, he is the type that cannot sit still for long and sometimes, the mind can wander off. So attending enrichment centres would waste my $$ and not be effective. Therefore, that is why I need to come in as his 1:1 tutor.
A child seldom can start to learn on his own. So far as I know most of the students who scored well either has tuition or has a parent who guide them, of course using the appropriate and correct resources. Therefore, I still think one can be train to get into GEP with training and exposure to the right materials.
To me, every child is smart. Only difference is whether they are given a good guide in terms of a teacher (parents, tutors etc) & resources (the materials that are given). That’s why so many parents do volunteery work to try to get to good school whereby these are usually given.
This is my view. I know some will disagree with me but I don’t mind since we are here to discuss this topic. Open discussion right? -
Mychildren:
My son was like this when he was little too. I couldn't decide whether it was cute or frustrating because it was both. :rotflmao:
For my younger DS, he is the type that cannot sit still for long and sometimes, the mind can wander off. So attending enrichment centres would waste my $$ and not be effective. Therefore, that is why I need to come in as his 1:1 tutor.Mychildren:
Yup... I don't teach my kids WHAT to learn. But I do teach them how to learn. Learning to learn is important in primary school so that in secondary school they will still be able to do well without parental involvement.A child seldom can start to learn on his own. So far as I know most of the students who scored well either has tuition or has a parent who guide them, of course using the appropriate and correct resources. Therefore, I still think one can be train to get into GEP with training and exposure to the right materials.
Mychildren:
The assumption that every child is smart is not very common. Most people are still influenced by psychological research from last century which shows that IQ is everything. We know the picture to much more nuanced now.To me, every child is smart. Only difference is whether they are given a good guide in terms of a teacher (parents, tutors etc) & resources (the materials that are given).
-
To a certain degree, I agree that PARENTS are key to results.
*Some will hire tutors/sign up enrichment centres for their kids and don't bother to follow up, expecting tutors to work miracles during that 1 1/2 - 2 hours.
*Some are KS to the point that they get 2 tutors to cover different parts of a subject. For eg, one tutor for oral and another for language.
When my son was in P1/2, hubby & I were 1:1 because he was too young for tuition. If he wasn't dreaming away :mad: , he would leave his chair to get water/food/pee etc etc...so it was really about handling his attitude.
Some kids are whizz kids...but parents still send them to enrichment centres to make sure they STAY ON TOP. -
insider:
Dear... I can manage my own kids. And you really shouldn't surmise/guess all sorts of things about my kids. If I need your advice, I will ask for it AND provide the necessary info for a productive discussion.
When I write, I write for 'regular' children who are the majority in the bell curve. I don't write with those special needs children who are at the two ends of the curve in mind (otherwise it maybe impossible to write).Chenonceau:
It may not be possible for you to know enough about my kids and I to know when I should be hard-hearted and when not. My DS has an emotional and developmental history that you are unfamiliar with. You are also not privy to some of the long-term deliberate strategies I have implemented for their holistic development and how it throws off my plans for emotional and character development to have failure happen in P5.
So whilst I thank you for your kind advice to be hard-hearted, I would simply have to tell you that I know better than you do when it comes to my own kids. It is nice of you to share though because other Mommies may want to follow your advice to be hard-hearted.
Maybe you have written somewhere else that your son has some emotional issue that I failed to read them, then of course I will not know that he requires special attention per se (though I did find it not so common for a boy to cry when failing test/exam which shows some emotional instability).
If I read you correctly, are you saying that your child has difficulty facing failure (coz of his emotional issue) and that you have to find all ways to avoid he suffering from setbacks (which we know is quite impossible in life)? This is just a question in my mind that you need not answer... -
Chenonceau:
Too busy working to earn the money for the tuition and enrichment classes and thereafter, even more busy ferrying kids here and there and following up with extra work from these classes aside from school work.
Yeah hor... where ah?Nebbermind:
some observation.
1) despite having several pages for this thread, the discussion is mainly among the same few parents
2) these parents appeared to be able to teach or help their children, especically in math
3) most of their children also appeared to be 'above average', some in among the top in school or already done their psle and in top 5/10 sec school.
Where are the parents who really needed tuition or enrichment classes for their kids?
Where to find time to come in here???? -
Funz... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
-
wilburlim:
All those so called ''enrichment centers'' are there to earn profits, and not to impart their ''secrets'' for success.
exactly.. -
Chenonceau:
What happened to Fathers..... :pokeeye:
Even if you don't agree with me, and I am perfectly willing to accept that since you're really good at Math, you see other ways that bypass the need for such resources. It's perfectly fine. But I am NOT good at Math. My DS was much helped by these heuristics, and I assumed that other kids, without Mothers good at Math would also benefit. -
limlim:
:imsorry: Papas too... yes, Papas too... :imsorry:
What happened to Fathers..... :pokeeye:Chenonceau:
Even if you don't agree with me, and I am perfectly willing to accept that since you're really good at Math, you see other ways that bypass the need for such resources. It's perfectly fine. But I am NOT good at Math. My DS was much helped by these heuristics, and I assumed that other kids, without Mothers good at Math would also benefit.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login