How to tell if a child is gifted?
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kiasimom:
Every child is gifted to their parents.
I don't think that is true, especially after reading so many complains in this forum about kids who are lazy, cannot pay attention, etc...
My boy is not gifted, but I love him very very much.
IMHO it is perfectly fine for a parent to wonder whether her child is gifted. This is what this thread is all about. Whether you like it or not, kids are born with a wide range of abilities. It is not right to teach all kids, especially very young kids, using the same methods. -
kiasimom:
Every child is gifted to their parents.
Every child is a gift to their parents, yes, I agree but gifted? No leh. At least, not to me. :? -
keroppi:
haha... to me , I feel my children are gifted in their own ways.kiasimom:
Every child is gifted to their parents.
Every child is a gift to their parents, yes, I agree but gifted? No leh. At least, not to me. :?
Different people have different expectations
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The question of whether there is such a thing as \"gifted kids\" has already been argued to death in a previous thread. There is really no point arguing about it anymore.
Parents who believe that all kids are gifted and nothing should be done to help them before the age of 5, then good for you ! You can just patiently wait for the GEP selection test at P3.
As for parents who think that their kids are exceptionally bright and gifted, and wish to find out what can be done to help their kids before the age of 5, then this thread should benefit you
For example, if you have a child who knows all the 26 letters of the alphabet at 16 months old, not just singing the ABC song, but actually recognize the individual letters in any font, lying sideways or upside down. And you don't remember how you taught him/her. It is fine for you to wonder how to help him/her. I do not agree that nothing should be done for such kids. These kids have the capability of learning to read like a teenager/adult before the age of 4 or 5. But if you expose him to only ABCs, and you don't have a single book for him, then it is a great waste of talent.
And why is it good to read very well at a very young age ? Because reading is the key to knowledge and independent learning. Kids have the least distractions before the age of 5 and this is the best time for them to learn. By the time they enter P1, many factors would have caused him/her to lose interest and concentration. -
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i3mum,
You can read this web page to learn about how to identify gifted children.
http://giftedkids.about.com/od/gifted101/p/how_to_identify.htm
http://giftedkids.about.com/od/gifted101/a/giftedtraits.htm
However, it is important to remember that a child does not have to have all of the traits to be gifted.
Your girl is certainly progressing very well. What you need to do now is to provide her with a wide variety of books so that she can read any time she likes. Also make sure that she has access to paper and pencil, you can encourage her to start writing her own stories -
Hi tamarind,
Thanks! I will read up on this. And thanks for your help & information tamarind:
i3mum,
You can read this web page to learn about how to identify gifted children.
http://giftedkids.about.com/od/gifted101/p/how_to_identify.htm
http://giftedkids.about.com/od/gifted101/a/giftedtraits.htm
However, it is important to remember that a child does not have to have all of the traits to be gifted.
Your girl is certainly progressing very well. What you need to do now is to provide her with a wide variety of books so that she can read any time she likes. Also make sure that she has access to paper and pencil, you can encourage her to start writing her own stories -
Hello Mummies
I am a newbie to this portal and have been reading up the discussion regarding gifted child or not. As my hb says, every parent would like to think his/her child is special and gifted so i read up to find out more. This thread is very informative thanks to mummies sharing own experience, viewpoints and many useful links posted for further reading.
After reading, I am quite certain that my boy is average (though I used to fantasize he might have some potential).
My boy (2.5 now)
can recognize all colors (coz he has interest)
can piece 4-6 puzzles (coz it has a bull dozer print and i think he did it via memory)
can read simple beginner reader books (again, recite from memory coz he pushes us to read to him again and again. I memorize some of them myself!)
very imaginative, a little spin master like throw his pacificer into milk bottle then claim his toy truck did that (then i discovered leftist are more imaginative but sometimes i think his thoughts are all jumbled up esp at end of the day.)
enjoys reading pictionary
cannot recite 1-10 in proper order (no interest in numbers, while some younger than his age can do that already)
cannot sit still to finish sorting the shapes (easily frustrated when he tries to push a pentagon into a decagon)
can recognize almost all alphabets around 2 yrs (again, only with same set of flash cards)
monolingual (being horrible parents, we laugh at his poor Mandarin pronounciation )
can only write C or O (coz he only has interests in round shapes! but we are not too worried now as he will learn in his kindy)
get complained by CCC teachers almost on daily basis on his cheeky antics or bullying of elder kids by him
I sometimes worry his developmental milestone as he does well in some areas and not so well in others. We do hope however that he will get more street-smart as we see that as survival skills in life later.
Things are different for my nephew. My nephew is a fast learner. He tops his class despite hardly studying at home. No tutors, find excuses to skip class etc. He has good attention span and learns just be attending class. Self taught savvy with computers as my bro and SIL are quite computer illiterate. Start talking very early according to my SIL. He talks about mature topics such as death etc at a very young age since 4 or 5.
However, he could be quite 'different' - he gets depressive and stressed (probably perfectionist and highly self-critical). He has been counselled externally and at school since P2 as he has violent tempers and issue serious death threats (throw them off the building or stab them with knives) to his parents when they don't yield to his wishes. He now claims that he has gone over to 'the dark side' (he idolizes the Darth Vader in the Star Wars). He is quite antisocial- no friends and refused to make any and open his mouth to buy food in school canteen though he's P5 this year(my SIL prepares meals for him everyday).
I am hoping to gather more information on these 2 areas:
1. Developmental milestone (N1/N2/K1/K2)
2. Suggestions on help for my bro/SIL on how to manage the situation with my nephew.
Anyone has similar experience ?
Or any advises to offer on how to (like pyschiatrist)?
Or please point me to the correct thread on these two topics. Thanks -
Two and a half is still very young.
I really wouldn't worry as long as the child is happy and healthy and functioning well. The only red flags at this age are speech delay or motor skill delay, but even this can be very variable among kids.
If it makes you feel any better, my second son who is also 2.5 cannot recognise number symbols or more than a few letters. He can count objects, something he picked up through daily life, but we do not spend time drilling him on the symbols. We spend more time doing art and craft and he likes to cycle and to help me with meal preparation (wash and cut vegetables with butter knife). Sometimes ds1 will sit him down and teach him things he (DS1) likes, or they will look through books and magazines together, but on my part, I only answer questions. If he asks me what a number or word is, I will tell him and that's all. My goal for him at this age is more self-care.Littlefly:
If he has been undergoing counselling for years without good results, they should definitely change the external ones they are seeing.2. Suggestions on help for my bro/SIL on how to manage the situation with my nephew.
Is the boy under a counsellor or a psychologist? They should look for a psychologist who has experience with bright children, and is familiar with different mood disorders as well as counselling methods. (A psychiatrist uses medication, a psychologist deal more with the psyche. A psychologist is better-trained than a counsellor and can also diagnose different mood disorders.)
Parents will probably need to make some changes as well in family dynamics and communication with the child. From your description, he sounds deeply unhappy with himself and his life. Afterall Darth Vadar was driven by fear and anger to the dark side.
He may need help with socialising, perfectionism and seeing things beyond black and white. It may be worthwhile to think back about how he was when he was younger to see if a pattern or development can be observed. I had to spend a lot of time teaching my son from the side for social stuff when he was 4, constantly widening his perspective, and making an effort to find children with whom he can experience positive friendship as he expected and explaining appropriate expectations.
One of the problems he had was other children laughing or running away from him when they didn't understand the topics he was talking about. It was deeply painful for him to experience that. He had changed from a happy go-lucky-child to a very angry, anti-social one who talked about killing others and himself. I took him out of school for a year and put him in mixed-age activities, and we worked on various issues with guidance from others. Now he's back in school and doing really well socially. He's like the child he used to be again, but more mature. -
[quote]2. Suggestions on help for my bro/SIL on how to manage the situation with my nephew. [/quote]
[quote]Parents will probably need to make some changes as well in family dynamics and communication with the child. From your description, he sounds deeply unhappy with himself and his life. [/quote]Hello Littlefly
Parents should definitely know best to read their child behaviour and find the appropriate way to react back.
My boy now is coming to 9. I wrote a lot on his development but I have never share my difficulty in managing his temperament, his wants and his needs. He is my child and for each and every steps that I struggle, I learn. It takes a while for my husband to understand and now that he does, life is more manageable. These are some issues that I face:
1) Sensitivities. There are a lot ranging from skin, smell, hearing and feelings. For feelings, I will on a daily basis, observe how he responds to my questions, his tone of voice, any changes in mood behaviour. I'm a working mother but I make it a point to pick him up daily & the first thing I do is shut of the radio in the car while listening to him talking. I'm doing this because I need to pick up if there are any issues in school that I need to address. It might be disatisfaction with a teacher or a classmate or simply hearing his joy in school that day. This is to ensure that any feelings he has, he does not keep it bottled up.
Jokes, seriousness when speaking, by now we know what is a joke to us might not be to him. What he thinks should not be done, we are to take it up seriously or we discuss lightly.
Ever, I was watching tv program at 10pm +, made a casual remark on a drawing competition & won't it be nice to win the free dinner for father's day celebration. Sensitivies, sets in. He walked out of the room and immediately set his task in drawing. I did not realize it as I thought he has went to sleep. To my horror, he was still drawing up to 1 am. Lesson learnt for me, never to make a casual remark and if I did it unintentionally, I better rectify it immediately. When his drawing was not pick out as a winner, there is another round of pacifying to be done.
2) Perfectionist.
I thought the drawing was beautifully done. But by the next day, he came back from school, he was at it again. Final touch up as he feels that the drawing must be filled up by details. I have no issues on it but just in case he decided that it was not good enough, I quickly post the entree.
Learning piano is another big headache. He expects to do the whole new song in one sitting. At first I leave him alone to practice while I go about doing housework. But then I realize, his perfectionist sets in. He re-do and re-do until he gets it right. I don't mind if he re-do and re-work until he gets things right. But we are human with moods and limitation. Sometime he can't get things right, thats when the eruption of anger comes in followed by deep despair. Berating himself, his problem with fingering tics. I realize, my child needs me to set pace for him. So for every practice daily, I will sit besides him, ensuring he doesn't get flustered by his high expectation.
3) Friendship
[quote] He is quite antisocial- no friends and refused to make any and open his mouth to buy food in school canteen [/quote]Has your bro/SIL ever ask him why he refused to buy his food from school canteen? I have difficulty placing an order in hawker center at age 21. I don't know why, but I simply refuse to open my mouth. My reason is... :oops: I don't know how to place an order at hawker center. It was my husband who taught me how. I've got no issues in ordering food from restaurant or fast food joint because the menu is there for me to read and tell them.
The parents might need to step in and help him. Quite difficult to intervene in school, so it is best to do it during social gathering. From the talks that I gather from my son, he chooses those who seem alone and approach them to go recess together. I told him not to give feedbacks or unwarranted advise unless he is being ask for one. Mine can even analyze and strategize on how to out wit a boy faster than him in a \"catching game\".
3) Anger. Mine does not explode outside of the house but often inside the house. Outside of the house, I only manage to see the kept anger change to despair & the suppressed tears in piano class. I have since move him out of the class & now working to get the piano teacher to click with him (still wip). When he exploded at home, I manage his behaviour first and the issues underlying the anger after he really cools down.
I have not seen any councellor, psychologist or psychiatrist yet. But I will, just to see what advises they will hand me. To see if I am in the right track or if there are any thing that I might have missed or fail to foresee.
Psstt: I am ignoring the thread title above as it does not apply to moi. I am responding to the question and ignoring the thread title.
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