Parents, not enrichment centres, are key to result

[tutormum]

beanbear:

Chenonceau:

beanbear, I am glad you shared your story. It is a moving one that shines with your love for your child. And what you have done is no less heroic and self-sacrificing than the actions of a mother who would starve herself so that her children have enough to eat. I am so impressed that even though you're bad at Math, you went through all this effort of pre-digesting learning so as to make it easy for your son to absorb. ON TOP OF WORKING FULL-TIME.

This is such an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing.

Many a times, parents are blamed for wanting bragging rights when they try to help their kids. There are times too when it is done for love of the child.[/quo

Thanks very much Chenoneau for your affirmations.

Reading your past postings on helping your little boy in chinese also amazed me at how far you're willing to go to help your son. I've been encouraged (literally drawing courage from the stories of others) to do this mammoth task of learning primary school curriculum again.

With 3 younger ones and one of them sitting for PSLE next year as well, I've got a lot at stake and felt it was really worth the effort to slug it out. At times, when I was tearing my hair out from doing all those sums, and I cried out \"Why am I studying primary school all over again?!!! I thought I finished studying!!\", my darling kids will retort, \"Well, you chose to have kids!\"

Well in between the rigours of studying, I'm trying keep the kids sanity by ensuring that as much as possible, they have their 45min playground time everyday, 30mins TV, dinner conversations with mum and bedtime reading. It's tough squeezing all that in but like you, Chen, I believe play is very important to our children and their brains are still developing and in such dire need of exercise and other forms of stimulation. In years to come, I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

:udawoman:

[Chenonceau]

beanbear:

I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

:udawoman:

When Teachers, Friends and the rest of the world have written your child off as a failure (and even when the child himself has lost faith in his own capability), it is the Mother's belief in the child that will pull the child through to a safe berth. If I had believed what Teachers had said of my son, he would be (1) slow (2) blur (3) lazy (4) lacking in focus and (5) possessing of a bad attitude.

[Nebbermind]

Chenonceau:

If I had believed what Teachers had said of my son, he would be (1) slow (2) blur (3) lazy (4) lacking in focus and (5) possessing of a bad attitude.

I always believe the teachers have a reason for giving such comments and it's important for us parents to find out why instead of feeling insulted or defensive.

I know of someone, who when younger would receive comments that swings both ways....like 'very bright'....'very blur'. If one had bothered to observe him, they would have realised that he was either 'very enthusiastic' or 'disinterested'. Perhaps they have a very narrow band of interests.

So as parents, we must always have an opened mind and work with our kids on their shortcomings.

[Chenonceau]

Nebbermind:

I always believe the teachers have a reason for giving such comments and it's important for us parents to find out why instead of feeling insulted or defensive.

I know of someone, who when younger would receive comments that swings both ways....like 'very bright'....'very blur'. If one had bothered to observe him, they would have realised that he was either 'very enthusiastic' or 'disinterested'. Perhaps they have a very narrow band of interests.

So as parents, we must always have an opened mind and work with our kids on their shortcomings.

I never confront nor do I argue with Teachers. They have their perspectives. So I wasn't insulted nor defensive. I just never lost faith in my son, nor allowed the labels to stick. If all we see in our kids is shortcomings (that we need to work on), it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Without specifically telling my son about his shortcomings, we have succeeded in now getting epithets (from the SAME teacher) such as (1) outstanding (2) obedient (3) sincere (4) helpful... You wouldn't have thought it was the same boy.

The truth is, with 40 in a class, Teachers are prone to snap judgments based just on a few salient observations. I have spent 10 years with my son. I'm not gonna allow a Teacher's perspective to define what I believe of my son.

[Nebbermind]

Chenonceau:

I never confront nor do I argue with Teachers. They have their perspectives. So I wasn't insulted nor defensive. I just never lost faith in my son, nor allowed the labels to stick. If all we see in our kids is shortcomings (that we need to work on), it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Without specifically telling my son about his shortcomings, we have succeeded in now getting epithets (from the SAME teacher) such as (1) outstanding (2) obedient (3) sincere (4) helpful... You wouldn't have thought it was the same boy.

The truth is, with 40 in a class, Teachers are prone to snap judgments based just on a few salient observations. I have spent 10 years with my son. I'm not gonna allow a Teacher's perspective to define what I believe of my son.

Sorry if u had thought that my comments were directed at u. I was just relating how some parents would have reacted when they received negative comments.

[Chenonceau]

Nebbermind:

Sorry if u had thought that my comments were directed at u. I was just relating how some parents would have reacted when they received negative comments.

[coast]

Chenonceau:

beanbear:

I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

:udawoman:

When Teachers, Friends and the rest of the world have written your child off as a failure (and even when the child himself has lost faith in his own capability), it is the Mother's belief in the child that will pull the child through to a safe berth. If I had believed what Teachers had said of my son, he would be (1) slow (2) blur (3) lazy (4) lacking in focus and (5) possessing of a bad attitude.

You forgot about Fathers again? :stompfeet:

I think you might have noticed - some parents believe (in a well-meaning way) that children are \"bright\" and \"not bright\" in academics. I believe most children are bright and if they are motivated, they can perform well academically too. IMHO, some are labeled too early (by teachers, parents, ... ) and these kids have lost faith and feel that they are less academically-inclined since adults told them so.

[Chenonceau]

coast:

You forgot about Fathers again? :stompfeet:

Solly! Solly!

[coast]

kiddo:

coast:

Teachers do make a difference. I am sure there are many students who benefit from teachers whether they are from school, enrichment or tuition. I sincerely salute all those teachers who have made a difference to their students! By all means give credit to the individual teacher. But if it is the \"fantastic\" worksheets from the centres, then we need to ask ... why can't MOE provide adequate materials to ALL students? Why parents need to visit Popular, KSP and other places to source for external assessment, resources, ... etc? Why some schools give different materials to different classes? The key reason I am writing this ... we need to make it as much a level playing field for every student as possible .. not dependent on extensive parent coaching, enrichment materials, ...

coast ,
I was exactly at the same thinking when DS is your DS age etc,
over time ....the system give you no choice but tuition due to
no time , pretty exhausted after a days work etc..
and the system with Parents , schoolwork load etc
create a very 'unlevel\" playing field .... enrichment and
add help is a good boost to marks and save efforts on the parents and child research work .
Actually - the workload the children now have entails a parents child
study group because with CCA and what have you , it just not possible
to cramp all that in the 8 waking hours a day
Our education have somewhat become a Elite system ...over time

coast - observe it over time and you know what I mean...
Parents/grading of school/ tuition etc create the standard of the education system as a whole.....the harder the push the higher the
standard goes.. :faint:

If you have an independent inquisitive ready to learn child .
good luck ...you will beat the system without any help :hi5:

ENJOY the journey...its an education in itself

hi kiddo,

Thanks for your encouraging message in bold above

Isn’t it an unhealthy system? Is there something we could improve? Hopefully when we share ideas here, someone from MOE will take note and implement the feasible ones to improve the situation. Not just simply “we cannot stop parents from sending their kids to tuition” without understanding the various factors why we are relying so much on enrichment/tuition/help. There is always a market for enrichment/tuition and they have their merits. But it is sad if it is due to “system gives us no choice” and that our system results in many kids having to \"cramp all that in the 8 waking hours a day\".

[coast]

ksi:

tutormum:

:siam: The question is how to build a strong foundation for the children? I hope I'm not offending anybody but there's a serious flaw in the way Maths is taught in schools. Most of my students have problems understanding the basic concepts, not to mention moving on to heuristics. :siam: How do most schools teach fractions - numerators and denominators? How about X more than Y is _______? Z is ______ less than X? When they see problem sums in lower primary, they would have 'switch off' already reason being that they find it very difficult. I've throughout the years devised my own methods of teaching and even have students at the verge of failing in P3 getting above 90 for P4. My methods are designed in such a way that the children find it very easy to understand the concepts and drawing models step by step. By the time they take their PSLE, even very weak students who really do not have a talent in Maths (yes, you need talent as well) manage to get a decent pass cos at least they applied what insider has mentioned earlier - i.e. memorising - which is the last resort.

Precisely this is the group that would dash for tuition cos there is no choice if what is taught in school simply is not getting through. And this is the group that is of concern if it is growing in size. MOE needs to study what is contributing to this problem eg:

1. Math language skills? I used to have these scholastics books I bought from a friend which I innocently let my child read for pleasure. In hindsight, perhaps these books helped my child understand the language of Math better. I only browsed those books but I vaguely remember they are written in Math language. Maybe should get the children to read such books to get it into their system.

2. Is Timeline to learn certain concepts realistic?
How much time is required on average for the mastery of certain Math skills? Are the children given enough time to learn them or we rush because we try to do many more things to make the education look holistic? Also, all children enter P1 with different background....

3. Foundation for Basic Computation Skills Missing?

4. Not enjoying the lesson?
Why?

:goodpost:

MOE recognises that all children enter P1 with different background. The schools have a LSP programme for P1 and P2 students who are weak in their literacy and numeracy skills. From what I know, these students usually attend separate classes (regular school hours) with a smaller teacher-student ratio.