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    Intellect or Age Peer?

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    • T Offline
      tutormum
      last edited by

      2ppaamm:
      tutormum:

      DS3 shown great interest in learning ever since he could read at 2 years old. He looked forward to going to school so much that whenever he past by his brother's former Kindergarten his eyes would glow. When I refused to buy assessment books for him to do, he would cry. It was only when he was in K2 that I bought them for him to prepare him for Primary school. My reason is simple, I don't want him to move too much ahead of his peers. School work for the first 3 years were too easy for him. I only allow him to do assessments that were a year ahead of his peers; ie. he did P2 assessment when he was in P1. He has no tuition and as assessment books were too easy for him and he got bored subsequently, he spent his time reading. When he made it to the 2nd round of the GEP test, I was pleasantly surprised. He claimed that he's half gifted though he didn't make it to the GEP program. He's been cruising along in his schoolwork and I was only concerned when he needed to take the PSLE. Next year, he'll be sitting for his O levels and I'm now shifting to higher gear by starting to apply pressure on him. Still, DS3 is living a carefree life, doing the minimum and enjoying what he's doing. He could have performed much better in school if I didn't put a brake on his 'progress' but I choose to let him enjoy his childhood rather to stress himself out to be in the top of his cohort. I may sound like a bad mummy but I don't want him to be too 'competitive' and get burnt out in the long run. šŸ¦†


      I admire what you do, and I am sure your DS3 is doing well and enjoying himself. But I am curious why you benchmark him against his cohort and do not want him to be 'too much ahead of his peers'? Why does that matter? By peers we are talking about his age peers. Now, I understand this is like so long ago (more than a decade), but would you have done differently today?

      btw, I had the same thinking as you with my older children, and I did also hold them back a few years. My son (who should be a year or two older than your DS3) was held back 3 years before I finally relented and sent him to the university to pursue his passion and dream. Today, he still tells me that was the best thing that has happened to him, to pursue his dreams at a young age, to have friends who understand how he thinks, to discuss with them about issues others find strange. He still keeps his age peers friends, and go out with them, trains with them, and go for overseas trips, and even parties. Now, they are all talking about getting the driver's license and getting prepared for the army next year.

      :oops: Nothing to admire. I just did cos I didn't want him to be stressed or risk being ostracize by his peers. šŸ˜“ I do at times wonder whether I've done the right thing esp when my friend's daughter went to GEP. There's so many 'ifs' but after talking to some teachers and parents (even some students) I guess I may not be wrong either. DS3 became arrogant in lower primary until he realised that he was still a small fish in the ocean. He did mix with weaker students and help them in their work, so he wasn't arrogant in that sense but at times I do think that he's too smart for his own good. :xedfingers: He likes to mix with ppl older than him and in a way this provides the platform to discuss issues deem beyond his scope. At times he smells of elitism and gets irritated when his peer appears ignorant by saying or doing something unacceptable to his level of intelligence. :slapshead: I emphasize moral values more than academic and šŸ™ wish that he will be well equipped to be able to survive and be an asset in this society. šŸ˜‰

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      • C Offline
        concern2
        last edited by

        2ppaamm:

        Don't :siam: leh... your thoughts are always very enlightening.
        Ya! Whilst I was hoping other parents would talk about their experience with GEP, I don't mean your thoughts are not welcomed..

        2ppaamm, I haven't actually gone through the link you have provided. Is it the same one as the homeschooling one? When I first mentioned jumping grades, I don't really mean to pull the kid out of the education system and homeschool. I mean if the kid has already achieved P3 standard (maybe through hothousing or sheer giftedness) and passes P3 standard of his/her school, he/she is allowed to go straight to P4. Just want to make myself clear... So...would it still be the same link to refer to?

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        • 2 Offline
          2ppaamm
          last edited by

          concern2:
          2ppaamm:


          Don't :siam: leh... your thoughts are always very enlightening.

          Ya! Whilst I was hoping other parents would talk about their experience with GEP, I don't mean your thoughts are not welcomed..

          2ppaamm, I haven't actually gone through the link you have provided. Is it the same one as the homeschooling one? When I first mentioned jumping grades, I don't really mean to pull the kid out of the education system and homeschool. I mean if the kid has already achieved P3 standard (maybe through hothousing or sheer giftedness) and passes P3 standard of his/her school, he/she is allowed to go straight to P4. Just want to make myself clear... So...would it still be the same link to refer to?

          That link is what you need. My younger boy's case is quite different. I only pulled out one of my kids for homeschooling, the rest followed the school syllabus all the way. 3 in the universities, the 4th is waiting to get in. All went in by 14. I found out, there's no difference academically, really. So I homeschooled DS2 not because I wanted to accelerate him, but because I found school unsuitable for him, and I was given a chance to do it well. For the rest of the bunch, school was fine and they breezed through school without much problem (especially the girls), there are some stuff that pops up once in a while, but no biggie. Again, for them the speed in mainstream was not suitable as well, so they accelerated and double enrolled most of their secondary school years.

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          • C Offline
            Chenonceau
            last edited by

            concern2:
            2ppaamm:


            Don't :siam: leh... your thoughts are always very enlightening.

            Ya! Whilst I was hoping other parents would talk about their experience with GEP, I don't mean your thoughts are not welcomed..

            No lah... I never once got the idea that you did not welcome me. It's I who thinks that I should not guess/surmise/project realities that I have no inkling of. We all live our single lives. My life did not include the experience of GEP so I am happy to sit back and learn from others' experience of it.

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            • L Offline
              Littlefly
              last edited by

              Hello, I am directed to post in this thread by zeemimi. Here's what i posted:


              -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

              Posting on behalf of my brother who is at his wits end....

              My nephew started his new Sec 1 at a SAP school but after 3 weeks, he told his parents that he wants to withdraw and do home-schooling after finding out only first 6 years (P1-6) are compulsory education.

              His parents of course refused and he threatened to jump off MRT tracks. My nephew is very quiet, reserved yet highly intelligent boy. He had received 3 years of counselling at school and IMH where the docs told my brother he has NO mental illness, no autism of any kind just behavioural problems.

              My nephew also refused to enrol in private schools. He simply hate interactions with others (like teachers, classmates). He is highly emotional and sensitive to others comments. One of his teachers simply ask him for an answer in class and he got pissed off. His current school principle told my brother it would be wasted if my nephew drop out of school as his PSLE results were very good. Prinicple did not encourage deferrment as well. If he minimize contact with outside world, he would become even more antisocial in his teenage years...

              Any parents here also do home-schooling for your kids ?
              How do you do it?
              Any providers who specializes in IT yet offer a formal secondary education.

              ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
              2ppaamm - I have posted earlier (see link) and this is current development...
              http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=25945&start=30

              Can you share how do you achieve home schooling? Anything the parents need to take note or do?

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • 2 Offline
                2ppaamm
                last edited by

                Littlefly:
                Hello, I am directed to post in this thread by zeemimi. Here's what i posted:


                -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Posting on behalf of my brother who is at his wits end....

                My nephew started his new Sec 1 at a SAP school but after 3 weeks, he told his parents that he wants to withdraw and do home-schooling after finding out only first 6 years (P1-6) are compulsory education.

                His parents of course refused and he threatened to jump off MRT tracks. My nephew is very quiet, reserved yet highly intelligent boy. He had received 3 years of counselling at school and IMH where the docs told my brother he has NO mental illness, no autism of any kind just behavioural problems.

                My nephew also refused to enrol in private schools. He simply hate interactions with others (like teachers, classmates). He is highly emotional and sensitive to others comments. One of his teachers simply ask him for an answer in class and he got pissed off. His current school principle told my brother it would be wasted if my nephew drop out of school as his PSLE results were very good. Prinicple did not encourage deferrment as well. If he minimize contact with outside world, he would become even more antisocial in his teenage years...

                Any parents here also do home-schooling for your kids ?
                How do you do it?
                Any providers who specializes in IT yet offer a formal secondary education.

                ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                2ppaamm - I have posted earlier (see link) and this is current development...
                http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=25945&start=30

                Can you share how do you achieve home schooling? Anything the parents need to take note or do?
                I read your post on the other thread and was just too busy to reply but I was thinking about your nephew's case this afternoon.

                I have to tell you I don't think he is suitable for homeschooling, much as I advocate this. Not because I think he is beyond hope (far from this!), but I think it will endanger whoever is going to be his homeschool teacher. If it is his mum, she will surely have psychological issues in no time. At least from as much as I have read. I have been following this case, and I do remember him quite vividly.

                As to how to homeschool, I have written about this before and you can refer to this. http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=25139&p=684825&hilit=homeschool#p684825

                I'm going to read a bit more and think about this, as it is now, I have no clue what can be good for the boy, or how to draw him out.

                Have you read this http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=26873&p=629654&hilit=hikikomori#p629654? Read the part about Hikkikomori. Something I am very worried about given the current education system. Does that sound familiar to you?

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                • 2 Offline
                  2ppaamm
                  last edited by

                  Read more about Hikkikomori here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori

                  Take care of the little ones, a pressurizing education system can cause a lot of harm. Well meaning parents, under the pressure of the system, may also be the source of such a phenomenon.

                  For my case, I believe my children were saved by acceleration, which gave them confidence, hope, and escape from a system that does not forgive, that does not satisfy, that does not understand, pitching friends against friends. Radically accelerating my kids, I deliberately choose to not chase after A's, I gave my kids a totally different yardstick, themselves.

                  Honestly, because I read, research and talk to so many people about education, I get really scared of stuff like these (Hikkikomori) and having seen so many recluse from RI, GEP, etc etc, from as young as Sec 1, I wonder if anyone from the education ministry is ever as worried as any parent. These things never surface in our press. But I know so many personally. Sometimes I wonder if I had not rescued my kids and accelerated them, what would have happened?

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • H Offline
                    HopeandSorrows
                    last edited by

                    2ppaamm:
                    If your child can cope with higher level work, would you do whatever you know/can to accelerate him, or stick to the current education system and let him learn with his peers?


                    Curious what our mummies and daddies think. If you would do something different from the school syllabus, what would that be?
                    If my son is so smart, I will be glad to quit my job and nurture him. It's every mummy and daddy's dreams! šŸ˜†

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                    • C Offline
                      concern2
                      last edited by

                      I can't help linking this thread to the one about how Singaporean students lack drive. Say, the GEP started in 1984 - for P4 students was it? Let's just assume it is. This means by now, the earliest children who have gone through the existence of this system would be about 38 years old now - already working, and possibly in the peak or climbing their way up. From what I've observed around, this age group still seem pretty \"kut latt\" - hardworking.


                      Usually when a new policy/system has just begun, you don't see immediate changes in people/ society. I'm not a sociologist, but assuming by the 10th year, people would have gained enough information, adjusted themselves, or their children would have come of age to enter the new system for it to have any impact - or what I call 'twisted effect' (results not initially intended for)

                      So 38 minus 10, the kids would be about 28 years of age. Let's give it a period of another 5 years down - Age 23 to 28. They will be working adults, maybe, gone through army, yes, some maybe still be pursuing higher studies perhaps? Or graduating soon... Is this the age group that we see has less drive? How is their working attitude? Ok, now that I am touching on the topic of 'drive', maybe I should also post on the other thread..

                      If you wish to talk about GEP/other education related, please continue here. And if you wish to write about 'drive', please write in the other thread:http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=31534&p=703483#p703483

                      Ok, I must also say at this point that I am not blaming the GEP for causing the lack of drive in students, or that our education system is the only reason for lack of drive. I am trying to point out the fact that GEP may result in parental drive that ends up in lack of drive in students.

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                      • corneyAmberC Offline
                        corneyAmber
                        last edited by

                        concern2:


                        Ok, I must also say at this point that I am not blaming the GEP for causing the lack of drive in students, or that our education system is the only reason for lack of drive. I am trying to point out the fact that GEP may result in parental drive that ends up in lack of drive in students.
                        You mean only GEP kids lack drive? :? :? :?

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