Worried parents taking children to psychologists
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Thanks 2ppaam and Chenonceau for sharing… I feel enlightened.
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So the other day, my MIL calls me up speaking to me in a kan cheong tone .....
The gist is that she wanted me to start preparing DS1 for Primary school (he is in K1 right now). She went on and on about how and what I shd do to prepare him. As a dutiful DIL, I just listened respectfully and said \"yes mum\". Later, when I shared this with DH, he mentioned that some parent had caused her to be in a frenzy because the latter was giving advice about how DS1 should be prepared for P1 etc .... Prior to that, my MIL, who gives tuition from P1 to Sec level and is familiar with the sch syllabus,had not seen the necessity to start preparing him before hand. Get the drift???
Recently, she has been teaching him maths and science (very conventional manner) every time he goes over. Yesterday, she even called him up and
over the phone and was testing his knowledge of addition and subtraction.
Yes, I am grateful that my MIL takes an interest in my DS1's learning, even though I may not agree with her methods (ie rote learning as opposed to learn thru play at this age). But I have to trust my DH when he says that she will do a good job as she taught him as well. I am not interfering in her actions cuz 1) he goes there once a week now and 2) most importantly, I see that he seems to be taking it positively ie not feeling pressurized to learn this or that by a certain period of time 3) if it gives her a sense of
achievement in contributing to her grandson's success in education, then so be it .... its not fun growing old .... many tend to lose their zest. But I do
control how often he goes there precisely because I do not want my DS1 to be consumed with academic learning. Having sound principles and a solid moral ground is what I am targeting right now.
His kindy does not give homework nor ting xie. They pride themselves for adequately preparing their kids for P1 without incorporating the former. I
was a teeny bit concerned about that at first. But not now, apparently, my DS has been complaining that he doesn't get time to play anymore, apart from snack time, as opposed to when he was in Nursery, cuz now it \"study, study, study\". I have yet to verify this but It could be true cuz since this year, he has been asking for time to play immediately after coming back home from school.
Apologies for any errors or the lopsided spacing .... darn the iPad :slapshead: -
To cont ....
No, I am not going to over prepare him cuz we are having fun just learning things that interest him. He is into parachutes ie how do they work and why does the parachute crumples when it lands etc .... He is also interested in the pulley system and has been persuading me to build one :yikes:
Thank God for YouTube!!!
It could end up being a folly of mine, especially after reading many of the posts in KSP about the primary school academic education. But at this point of time, this is my take - unless my child exhibits some kind of learning disability or is not motivated in learning, I do not deem it necessary to prepare or over prepare him for P1. -
I think a lot of KSP parents here are 卧虎藏龙 one... As in knows-a-lot-but-don't-say-only :razz:
Parents know their kids best, and want the best for their kids.
No harm pushing kids if they can cope with more, or are faster in learning certain skills.
But all work and no play also cannot.
Need to develop the social skills as well.
And the best enrichment brand is only as good as the abilities of teacher and student.
If teacher cannot teach or manage class, also no use.
If student cannot listen and disruptive, also no use.
So Parents also need to do their homework and monitor their kids development.
From there, take corrective actions accordingly. -
autumnbronze:
Do not need to be upset autumnbronze, I have qualified that 100% of my teachers' friends are like that. I cannot help having such experience, can I? :? So I am just asking around if anyone has the same experience. Of course there are non teacher friends that are the same but my feel is the more they know about the system(ie, the teachers), the more worried they are, isn't that strange like you say?ksi:
Has anyone noticed? The most gan cheong or worried parents are usually teachers so they teach their kids many years ahead and the kids become advanced kids....then they become bored in class.....then they have issues.........then....... Amongst my teachers friends, it is 100% true.
Strange .....
Among my teachers friends, many of their kids are with maids, student care or parents/in laws cuz they work long hours. Some of them don't even see their kids on weekdays, only on weekends.
In fact, taking leave to coach their kids is unheard of too.
Anyway, it's getting really annoying to read generalizations (negative) about
teachers in almost EVERY thread.
I do understand and emphasize with forummers who genuinely have issues (you know who you are), but other than that, let's just focus on GENUINE discussions and not start a mass negative ranting session about teachers,
yet again. We have more than enough threads for that.
BTW, I do have an issue with my DS1's preschool teacher, whose recent actions have shattered my son's self esteem.
I am also sure that there are parents, regardless of what occupations they hold, are guilty of over preparing their kids .... -
LadyInBlack:
When I say they \"teach\" their kids ahead...I do not mean literally the teaching is done by themselves. They have to rely on other tutors because a teacher is not an expert in ALL subjects, so they have to outsource of course!
Well said! cos my teacher frens rely on tutors themselves to handle their kids studies! and i know that they have so much of time restrictions in coaching their children.
N true!! pple do forget that when a child is labelled as slow..it hits the childz self esteem the most!! I have to keep encouraging my own kids to keep up their good work! -
Chenonceau:
I know a married couple (both teach in MOE)... their kids go to Learning Lab because they don't have time to teach.
:hi5: There are many such teachers and I don't blame them. Other than time, they know the system best and know what is best for their kids.
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newuser:
I ask my ds. He said 23. 35-11=24 . then he said 24÷2=12 then add by 11 which is 23.
Hi newuser,
:offtopic:
Ei ... why 24 divide by 2 and not any other numbers? -
ksi:
Do not need to be upset autumnbronze, I have qualified that 100% of my teachers' friends are like that. I cannot help having such experience, can I?autumnbronze:
[quote=\"ksi\"]Has anyone noticed? The most gan cheong or worried parents are usually teachers so they teach their kids many years ahead and the kids become advanced kids....then they become bored in class.....then they have issues.........then....... Amongst my teachers friends, it is 100% true.
Strange .....
Among my teachers friends, many of their kids are with maids, student care or parents/in laws cuz they work long hours. Some of them don't even see their kids on weekdays, only on weekends.
In fact, taking leave to coach their kids is unheard of too.
Anyway, it's getting really annoying to read generalizations (negative) about
teachers in almost EVERY thread.
I do understand and emphasize with forummers who genuinely have issues (you know who you are), but other than that, let's just focus on GENUINE discussions and not start a mass negative ranting session about teachers,
yet again. We have more than enough threads for that.
BTW, I do have an issue with my DS1's preschool teacher, whose recent
actions have shattered my son's self esteem.
I am also sure that there are parents, regardless of what occupations they hold, are guilty of over preparing their kids ....
:? So I am just asking around if anyone has the same experience. Of course there are non teacher friends that are the same but my feel is the
more they know about the system(ie, the teachers), the more worried they are, isn't that strange like you say?[/quote]You have misread my tone and my post ksi.
I am definitely not upset. NEUTRAL yes, but not upset. And it seems that I may not be the only one.
Yes, you can't help your experience, but isn't it strange that you almost
always have a similar experience to share .....and don't you think there's
been enuff talk on teachers?? -
ksi:
When I say they \"teach\" their kids ahead...I do not mean literally the teaching is done by themselves. They have to rely on other tutors because a teacher is not an expert in ALL subjects, so they have to outsource of course!LadyInBlack:
Well said! cos my teacher frens rely on tutors themselves to handle their kids studies! and i know that they have so much of time restrictions in coaching their children.
N true!! pple do forget that when a child is labelled as slow..it hits the childz self esteem the most!! I have to keep encouraging my own kids to keep up their good work!
Then in that case, they are acting in a capacity of a Parent, just like any Parent, whether they are teachers or not.
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