Worried parents taking children to psychologists
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I'm sure i didn't.
Sometimes people write what they feel strongly abt and may not realize how it is being read/perceived and while it may not be how the writer intended it to be. It takes great reflection to look back or read back at what was written... ( and boi there are plenty!!! )... btwn the lines or on the dot.
Aniwaes, the thread is also abt taking children to psychologists leh. Let's not again go into teachers. As a mod, it is also a responsibility to keep to topic right? :evil: Cos by asking for other parents' experience with \"such teachers you've had so many experiences with\"... it WILL rally on & spiral into the oh well... teacher talk again.
Now let's get back to the thread at hand. :rubhands:
Discuss issues. Enough abt people. Teachers included. :please: -
DesertWind:
I am beginning to think it is a good idea actually to escape the system and do home-schooling instead. Home-schooling used to be such an alien concept to me but given the current SG schooling environment, those who can't catch up risk getting \"labeled\" by psychologist. Now I can understand why some would choose to escape all the \"hype\" and \"noise\" of the school environment and do home-schooling. If this is indeed a doable alternative....
This is indeed a good option, to allow the kid to learn at his/her own pace. The only issue is that they still have to face the dreaded PSLE exams at the end of the day, but at least allows the parent the time and flexibility in choosing a method and pace to prepare the kid for it. It takes a dedicated and patient parent to be able to do it. -
ksi:
Given so many bored children in class these days, I gathered some of the problems are created by over-preparation by anxious parents. I don't have the solution and I reckon this will just go on for many decades to come.
One is either BORED or one will FAIL. I didn't prepare my DS for anything because I also thought \"If I teach, he will be bored in class.\" Then he failed. No matter how hard the Teacher works, he/she cannot teach enough to cover the exam difficulty.
So now I teach everything (and more)... and when he goes to school, he has fun. We expect too much of our Teachers... they can't cope. They don't even have proper textbooks to teach with and must write their own materials. -
whoa…take it easy pple! we shall not argue over what teachers do and dont do for their children…like mentioned earlier…we ought to keep to the topic!
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ksi:
I think my kid is bored in class too.
I don't quite understand what you mean, if my experience is there, it will just surface when I see it relevant and again, I am not critising the teachers per se. I am looking at an interesting phenomenon amongst my teachers friends.autumnbronze:
You have misread my tone and my post ksi.
I am definitely not upset. NEUTRAL yes, but not upset. And it seems that I may not be the only one.
Yes, you can't help your experience, but isn't it strange that you almost
always have a similar experience to share .....and don't you think there's
been enuff talk on teachers??
In any case, it is disconcerting to me that teachers by profession who know the system well worry so much about their children's survival in the system as parents, isn't that something to note? Then we cannot blame non-teacher parents for worrying more. Title is \"Worried parents.....\"
Also, the other phenomenon resulting in this first worry is after over-preparing the children ahead so much, the children became bored in class, resulting in issues and psychologists have to be brought into the picture, then the second worry comes about. Now what I see is a vicious cycle. Of course there are cases whereby the children are really born with some issues to be addressed. Given so many bored children in class these days, I gathered some of the problems are created by over-preparation by anxious parents. I don't have the solution and I reckon this will just go on for many decades to come.
My kid run around in class disturbing students, and the supervisor in CC suggest we bring my kid to see psychologist doc to see have any hyperactive. In the end do lots of questions survey and doc says no hyperactive...probably bored in class.
If don't prepare my kid, kid lag behind then how? If over-prepare then kid got bored. Then what they expect me to do? -
Sorry har, I have to get back to ksi's post. It is true that even teachers have problems with coping with the system. And it is also my observation that many teachers do overprepare their kids as well, not just non-teaching parents. So if even teachers who are familiar with the system cannot cope with it, then how can we, who also have full-time jobs be expected to cope?
Sometimes wonder why I have 5 kids?! It is ultra difficult to cope. And when school (note: not teachers) meet the slightest difficulty, even things that is in their jurisdiction, they just pass problems back to us, and as if they are psychologists, they will help to label and justify why their labeling is right based upon their own observation. (The teacher told me my son is ADHD :siao: ) she insisted I send my son for tests. 3 psychological tests and $10,000 :moneyflies: , she is wrong.
Not their money so easier to spend is it. If you resist sending the kids to psychologists, you get labelled 'lousy mother', and when the intervention classes are not available for kids like yours, you are not doing anything to help your kid.
Yep, easier to homeschool. Much easier. Like my 12-year-old said, just do my work lor, don't understand what the problem is in school. Socially, just bring for sports, can still make friends. Can also learn social skills at home with so many kids. Also bring him to work, so that he can mingle with academics. No need to worry about that PSLE, that \"your son this, your son that...\" Yep, I'm an educator too. But I cannot see eye-to-eye with many out there. So sorry. Not every educator is the same. In my world, I believe in putting students first. My students need not be the only ones benefiting from that. My kids can enjoy that too. -
Does the kid get ostracized if see psychologist?
Are there increasingly more genuine cases?
Or just misdiagnosed?
Does kid’s condition improve if exempted from MT?
What implications are there as the child grow older? -
My son is in K1 this year and the childcare teachers have been giving them tracing and writing to do since Nursery2 and basically the whole class of K1 can write but not my son.The teachers have to even single out my son when it comes to writing by sitting beside him and hold his hands. The teachers would complain to us to try to teach my son to write and and it has become so depressing when i spend my weekday night to make him do writing and he just couldnt write. In the end i have to make a appointment to take him to polyclinic to get a referral letter to KKH to get him checked.Supposed to check if he has motor skills problem but ended first review in polyclinics shows he might have some eye vision problems.
I still have not gone for the psychologists yet for the schedule is end of this month but it is depressing to know he is the only one who couldn’t write.
as for preparing a child for p1, i did that for my girl and i find that my girl actually loves school cos she finds it easier to catch. In actual fact, she told me her whole class knows of all the addition and substractions , number bonds except for one classmate who might not have gone through a preparatory class that he is struggling with number bonds and the teacher is so frustrated that she has to slap her own forehead when she realised the boy does not know what is number bonds. I can understand how it can feel like when you are the only one who does not know anything and the teachers might not have the time to go through that with you only if majority are already well versed as in my son’s case. -
larkspur:
larkspur... I dunno if this helps but no matter how depressed you are, dun let the kid know... and dun yell at the Teacher. Teachers have said all sorts of things about my son. I never argue with them. They have their viewpoint, and it is their job to alert parents. I usually will smile and say \"thank you\".My son is in K1 this year and the childcare teachers have been giving them tracing and writing to do since Nursery2 and basically the whole class of K1 can write but not my son.The teachers have to even single out my son when it comes to writing by sitting beside him and hold his hands. The teachers would complain to us to try to teach my son to write and and it has become so depressing when i spend my weekday night to make him do writing and he just couldnt write. In the end i have to make a appointment to take him to polyclinic to get a referral letter to KKH to get him checked.Supposed to check if he has motor skills problem but ended first review in polyclinics shows he might have some eye vision problems.
I still have not gone for the psychologists yet for the schedule is end of this month but it is depressing to know he is the only one who couldn't write.
as for preparing a child for p1, i did that for my girl and i find that my girl actually loves school cos she finds it easier to catch. In actual fact, she told me her whole class knows of all the addition and substractions , number bonds except for one classmate who might not have gone through a preparatory class that he is struggling with number bonds and the teacher is so frustrated that she has to slap her own forehead when she realised the boy does not know what is number bonds. I can understand how it can feel like when you are the only one who does not know anything and the teachers might not have the time to go through that with you only if majority are already well versed cos of my son's case.
Meanwhile, I consider that I know my kids best and I trust my own judgment. Sometimes, I agree that something needs to be done. Other times, I know that I just have to tweak with Teacher's mental models. As far as possible, I try to bridge the divide between my kid and his Teacher so that their relationship can move smoothly.
At times when I agree that something needs to be done, I also won't tell my kid. I will quietly read up and do what needs to be done without specifically explaining. The kids don't care... and the kids dun need to care. My son was slow to write too. The muscle co-ordination in his hands was poor. I told him that it was normal and that I hadn't ever met a grown up man who couldn't write... and that he would learn in time. We did a lot of writing in the playground sand with a stick because he couldn't control his fingers well.
Is it muscle control? If so, some finger exercises perhaps? -
Daddy
What do you think? My British friend in the industry told me Singapore has the highest learning disability diagnoses in the world. Just how can that be?!
Does the kid get ostracized if see psychologist?
Are there increasingly more genuine cases?
Or just misdiagnosed?
Does kid's condition improve if exempted from MT?
What implications are there as the child grow older?
When schools have problems with the kids, they go to parents. Parents these days are also not easy to deal with, unlike our parents. When push comes to shove, they will not hesitate to make it difficult for schools. What's the best thing to do? Blame it on a problem with the kid, diagnose the kid and everything peaceful. School becomes understanding and parents will not get accused for bad parenting. So, in my opinion, diagnosing becomes a tool. But this is just my take.
Then, after the diagnosis, the school can now ask for more resources to handle these special cases. They get more AE's, budgets etc. Everybody happy lah, more help, more hands mah. Then, when even these cannot work, send the kids to special schools lor, school cannot handle.
Kids' conditions do not improve from MT exemption, they simply prove they cannot cope and by removing an extra subject, they have less work. That's why parents whose kids cannot cope with MT (some really genuine cases) will go as far as getting their kids diagnosed for this. Again, my question is why is double language education compulsory, when it is known that even very gifted children are not all natural bi-lingual. Shouldn't this be an option?
If the kid is labeled, he is labeled forever. If he is truly a special needs, it is important because it helps the kids in dealing with some disabilities. But in other countries, diagnoses are also used for special IEPs where students get privileges and government subsidies. Many suspect their kids are misdiagnosed, but will play along, because a diagnosis buys sympathy and understanding. My question is why do we need a child diagnosed before we offer empathy. What has become of our society? Do we want our kids to grow up thinking their are weird or different forever, especially if they are not? I know my answers.
Another implication. Medication. Some psychiatrists/psychologists will not hesitate to suggest medication for ADHD, ADD etc. I also do not like the way it is done. If not sure, put on the medication first. If it works, good, if not, then just don't use it after 9 months. :siao: My son is not a lab rat, you know.
Army. Your child will never have a chance to execute his potential those 2 years given a diagnosis of a mental illness. Of course, there are parents who do not care about army. I happen to want to be consistent with teaching my son the importance of being responsible, and to always do his best in everything.
I'm sure there are many more responses. These are just my first take.
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