Worried parents taking children to psychologists
-
ksi:
I think my kid is bored in class too.
I don't quite understand what you mean, if my experience is there, it will just surface when I see it relevant and again, I am not critising the teachers per se. I am looking at an interesting phenomenon amongst my teachers friends.autumnbronze:
You have misread my tone and my post ksi.
I am definitely not upset. NEUTRAL yes, but not upset. And it seems that I may not be the only one.
Yes, you can't help your experience, but isn't it strange that you almost
always have a similar experience to share .....and don't you think there's
been enuff talk on teachers??
In any case, it is disconcerting to me that teachers by profession who know the system well worry so much about their children's survival in the system as parents, isn't that something to note? Then we cannot blame non-teacher parents for worrying more. Title is \"Worried parents.....\"
Also, the other phenomenon resulting in this first worry is after over-preparing the children ahead so much, the children became bored in class, resulting in issues and psychologists have to be brought into the picture, then the second worry comes about. Now what I see is a vicious cycle. Of course there are cases whereby the children are really born with some issues to be addressed. Given so many bored children in class these days, I gathered some of the problems are created by over-preparation by anxious parents. I don't have the solution and I reckon this will just go on for many decades to come.
My kid run around in class disturbing students, and the supervisor in CC suggest we bring my kid to see psychologist doc to see have any hyperactive. In the end do lots of questions survey and doc says no hyperactive...probably bored in class.
If don't prepare my kid, kid lag behind then how? If over-prepare then kid got bored. Then what they expect me to do? -
Sorry har, I have to get back to ksi's post. It is true that even teachers have problems with coping with the system. And it is also my observation that many teachers do overprepare their kids as well, not just non-teaching parents. So if even teachers who are familiar with the system cannot cope with it, then how can we, who also have full-time jobs be expected to cope?
Sometimes wonder why I have 5 kids?! It is ultra difficult to cope. And when school (note: not teachers) meet the slightest difficulty, even things that is in their jurisdiction, they just pass problems back to us, and as if they are psychologists, they will help to label and justify why their labeling is right based upon their own observation. (The teacher told me my son is ADHD :siao: ) she insisted I send my son for tests. 3 psychological tests and $10,000 :moneyflies: , she is wrong.
Not their money so easier to spend is it. If you resist sending the kids to psychologists, you get labelled 'lousy mother', and when the intervention classes are not available for kids like yours, you are not doing anything to help your kid.
Yep, easier to homeschool. Much easier. Like my 12-year-old said, just do my work lor, don't understand what the problem is in school. Socially, just bring for sports, can still make friends. Can also learn social skills at home with so many kids. Also bring him to work, so that he can mingle with academics. No need to worry about that PSLE, that \"your son this, your son that...\" Yep, I'm an educator too. But I cannot see eye-to-eye with many out there. So sorry. Not every educator is the same. In my world, I believe in putting students first. My students need not be the only ones benefiting from that. My kids can enjoy that too. -
Does the kid get ostracized if see psychologist?
Are there increasingly more genuine cases?
Or just misdiagnosed?
Does kid’s condition improve if exempted from MT?
What implications are there as the child grow older? -
My son is in K1 this year and the childcare teachers have been giving them tracing and writing to do since Nursery2 and basically the whole class of K1 can write but not my son.The teachers have to even single out my son when it comes to writing by sitting beside him and hold his hands. The teachers would complain to us to try to teach my son to write and and it has become so depressing when i spend my weekday night to make him do writing and he just couldnt write. In the end i have to make a appointment to take him to polyclinic to get a referral letter to KKH to get him checked.Supposed to check if he has motor skills problem but ended first review in polyclinics shows he might have some eye vision problems.
I still have not gone for the psychologists yet for the schedule is end of this month but it is depressing to know he is the only one who couldn’t write.
as for preparing a child for p1, i did that for my girl and i find that my girl actually loves school cos she finds it easier to catch. In actual fact, she told me her whole class knows of all the addition and substractions , number bonds except for one classmate who might not have gone through a preparatory class that he is struggling with number bonds and the teacher is so frustrated that she has to slap her own forehead when she realised the boy does not know what is number bonds. I can understand how it can feel like when you are the only one who does not know anything and the teachers might not have the time to go through that with you only if majority are already well versed as in my son’s case. -
larkspur:
larkspur... I dunno if this helps but no matter how depressed you are, dun let the kid know... and dun yell at the Teacher. Teachers have said all sorts of things about my son. I never argue with them. They have their viewpoint, and it is their job to alert parents. I usually will smile and say \"thank you\".My son is in K1 this year and the childcare teachers have been giving them tracing and writing to do since Nursery2 and basically the whole class of K1 can write but not my son.The teachers have to even single out my son when it comes to writing by sitting beside him and hold his hands. The teachers would complain to us to try to teach my son to write and and it has become so depressing when i spend my weekday night to make him do writing and he just couldnt write. In the end i have to make a appointment to take him to polyclinic to get a referral letter to KKH to get him checked.Supposed to check if he has motor skills problem but ended first review in polyclinics shows he might have some eye vision problems.
I still have not gone for the psychologists yet for the schedule is end of this month but it is depressing to know he is the only one who couldn't write.
as for preparing a child for p1, i did that for my girl and i find that my girl actually loves school cos she finds it easier to catch. In actual fact, she told me her whole class knows of all the addition and substractions , number bonds except for one classmate who might not have gone through a preparatory class that he is struggling with number bonds and the teacher is so frustrated that she has to slap her own forehead when she realised the boy does not know what is number bonds. I can understand how it can feel like when you are the only one who does not know anything and the teachers might not have the time to go through that with you only if majority are already well versed cos of my son's case.
Meanwhile, I consider that I know my kids best and I trust my own judgment. Sometimes, I agree that something needs to be done. Other times, I know that I just have to tweak with Teacher's mental models. As far as possible, I try to bridge the divide between my kid and his Teacher so that their relationship can move smoothly.
At times when I agree that something needs to be done, I also won't tell my kid. I will quietly read up and do what needs to be done without specifically explaining. The kids don't care... and the kids dun need to care. My son was slow to write too. The muscle co-ordination in his hands was poor. I told him that it was normal and that I hadn't ever met a grown up man who couldn't write... and that he would learn in time. We did a lot of writing in the playground sand with a stick because he couldn't control his fingers well.
Is it muscle control? If so, some finger exercises perhaps? -
Daddy
What do you think? My British friend in the industry told me Singapore has the highest learning disability diagnoses in the world. Just how can that be?!
Does the kid get ostracized if see psychologist?
Are there increasingly more genuine cases?
Or just misdiagnosed?
Does kid's condition improve if exempted from MT?
What implications are there as the child grow older?
When schools have problems with the kids, they go to parents. Parents these days are also not easy to deal with, unlike our parents. When push comes to shove, they will not hesitate to make it difficult for schools. What's the best thing to do? Blame it on a problem with the kid, diagnose the kid and everything peaceful. School becomes understanding and parents will not get accused for bad parenting. So, in my opinion, diagnosing becomes a tool. But this is just my take.
Then, after the diagnosis, the school can now ask for more resources to handle these special cases. They get more AE's, budgets etc. Everybody happy lah, more help, more hands mah. Then, when even these cannot work, send the kids to special schools lor, school cannot handle.
Kids' conditions do not improve from MT exemption, they simply prove they cannot cope and by removing an extra subject, they have less work. That's why parents whose kids cannot cope with MT (some really genuine cases) will go as far as getting their kids diagnosed for this. Again, my question is why is double language education compulsory, when it is known that even very gifted children are not all natural bi-lingual. Shouldn't this be an option?
If the kid is labeled, he is labeled forever. If he is truly a special needs, it is important because it helps the kids in dealing with some disabilities. But in other countries, diagnoses are also used for special IEPs where students get privileges and government subsidies. Many suspect their kids are misdiagnosed, but will play along, because a diagnosis buys sympathy and understanding. My question is why do we need a child diagnosed before we offer empathy. What has become of our society? Do we want our kids to grow up thinking their are weird or different forever, especially if they are not? I know my answers.
Another implication. Medication. Some psychiatrists/psychologists will not hesitate to suggest medication for ADHD, ADD etc. I also do not like the way it is done. If not sure, put on the medication first. If it works, good, if not, then just don't use it after 9 months. :siao: My son is not a lab rat, you know.
Army. Your child will never have a chance to execute his potential those 2 years given a diagnosis of a mental illness. Of course, there are parents who do not care about army. I happen to want to be consistent with teaching my son the importance of being responsible, and to always do his best in everything.
I'm sure there are many more responses. These are just my first take.
-
2ppaamm:
Yes... this is true. We are trigger happy with tests. I reckon that for very severe cases, testing is necessary... and helpful but for many mild cases, I simply think that these form part of the rich diversity of children we have... and many solutions are commonsensical. In such cases, it's good to let the child know that he/she is normal... and not create any baggage.
What do you think? My British friend in the industry told me Singapore has the highest learning disability diagnoses in the world. Just how can that be?! -
insider:
What about a parent who knows her kid best, and saw no need for a diagnosis, but was forced by the school who insist they know the kid better, claiming the teacher has got 30 years of teaching thousands of students? And that the child cannot come back until he has seen a psychologist?It takes a sensible parent to decide whether to send a child for assessment or not to send. A sensible (not 'ostrich') parent knows best about his/her own child.
A sensible parent needs to have a firm principle about what is 'normal' instead of what is 'super normal'. As long as the child is 'normal', then can forget about what the teachers/others said if the expectations are those of 'super normal'.
A sensible parent with a 'normal' child will know how to smile at others when the latter comment about his/her child being 'slow', 'not up to par', etc, with a 'never mind' heart instead of taking such comments harshly.
Such parent may even laugh at difficult exam together with the child after the child fails it.
With this mentality, then everything also can be a 'no issues'. The moment one cannot accept such 'well intentioned but ill comment/method', then the child will start to have more troubles coming his/her way.
I support psychological testings if the needs are genuine. Learning disabilities should be identified during preschool years or else it maybe more difficult to reverse when the child enters P1. To me, the burden / guilt of a child not being identified in his preschool mostly lies with his preschool teacher if she really fails to identify it after at least 6 months with a child (this kind of teacher 'eat waste rice').
I believe Funz and I and many other preschools are getting to see more and more preschoolers with learning disabilities and as long as the preschool that a child is in is not the 'academic' type, then if the teacher proposes a professional assessment, the need is likely to be a genuine one. If child is in an academic preschool, then parents may have to rethink about such need since in most academic-driven preschools, they hardly could see a child anything further than whether can read or master timetables... (that's why academic-driven preschools are overall harmful to 'slower' young children who can anytime get 'labeled').
Sometimes, I wish things are simpler. -
Chenonceau:
Exactly, the word I am searching for. BAGGAGE.
Yes... this is true. We are trigger happy with tests. I reckon that for very severe cases, testing is necessary... and helpful but for many mild cases, I simply think that these form part of the rich diversity of children we have... and many solutions are commonsensical. In such cases, it's good to let the child know that he/she is normal... and not create any baggage.2ppaamm:
What do you think? My British friend in the industry told me Singapore has the highest learning disability diagnoses in the world. Just how can that be?! -
buds:
thanks buds! yup, I've been hanging out at the political threads and chwee kueh thread too much.... hee.toddles:
this is actually the first thread I'm reading abt teachers in a while...
Shows you've been gone awhile...
PS. Hope you and the babies are well. :hugs:
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login