Small fish in big pond or big fish in small pond?

[MyMooMoo]

Hi Beanbear,


I have sent you a pm. Hope that you can advise me…

TIA …

[MattsEducation]

Hello folks!

Just some food for thought.. Which would you rather your child be? A big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond?

We just shared our two cents worth at %5Bb%5Dhttp%3A//www.mattseducation.com/blogarchive.php?id=12%5B/b%5D. Let us know what you think..


PS: As always, we thought it'd be interesting to share our thoughts on some hot-button issues in the education sector. No disrespect to anyone


Cheers!
Matt

[3Boys]

Big fish in small pond to begin with, then a small fish in a big pond later on.

[Snow Crystal]

For me, it depends on character, personality, adaptability and EQ of my child.


Some kids can thrive as small fish in big pond, gradually gaining size and become big fish in big pond. As a small fish, they are not afraid of the big fish, they find their own place in the big pond and grow. This type of kid when placed in a good class or top school is confident of himself and is not affected by others who are much cleverer than them. In fact they enjoy being with their smarter classmates.

On the other hand, another type of kid can never survive in a good class or top sec Sch. He is afraid - so afraid when he learns with much smarter classmates that he loses confidence in himself, he wonders why he never aces the tests when he was so good last time, he still lives in past glory, he’s tired of swimming so hard in the big pond, his grades slide and he may be better off as a big fish in small pond.

Any big fish in small pond will ultimately still have to swim and upgrade into a big pond one day. He won’t and can’t stay forever in a small pond. So the test is earlier or later, matter of time.

At a younger age eg primary school and secondary school, i prefer my kids to be a comfortable fish in whichever size pond ie he does not feel small or bad about himself and learn in a condusive environment with a reasonably high self esteem.

I focus more on the final destination - the great seas. I hope that in the final seas which my kid sails to, he will finally find his own placing with good confidence. Meanwhile during the journey from pond to sea, I hope he will not be swallowed by the ugly creatures called ‘Demoralisation’, ‘Depression’ and ‘Lost Confidence’. It’s a long journey from pond to sea so I want to remind myself to strike a balance in every stage of his education life. What if our kid is big fish all the way then become a tiny fish at the most important final stage when they meet the other foreign, more aggressive and smarter fishes of which 45% obtain second upper honors and above. Then at that stage do we regret and say, ‘I wish I had not deprived your childhood. I should have just let you go out play more and watch that movie you have wanted to watch…’

[truffle]

Snow Crystal:

For me, it depends on character, personality, adaptability and EQ of my child.


Some kids can thrive as small fish in big pond, gradually gaining size and become big fish in big pond. As a small fish, they are not afraid of the big fish, they find their own place in the big pond and grow. This type of kid when placed in a good class or top school is confident of himself and is not affected by others who are much cleverer than them. In fact they enjoy being with their smarter classmates.

On the other hand, another type of kid can never survive in a good class or top sec Sch. He is afraid - so afraid when he learns with much smarter classmates that he loses confidence in himself, he wonders why he never aces the tests when he was so good last time, he still lives in past glory, he's tired of swimming so hard in the big pond, his grades slide and he may be better off as a big fish in small pond.

Any big fish in small pond will ultimately still have to swim and upgrade into a big pond one day. He won't and can't stay forever in a small pond. So the test is earlier or later, matter of time.

At a younger age eg primary school and secondary school, i prefer my kids to be a comfortable fish in whichever size pond ie he does not feel small or bad about himself and learn in a condusive environment with a reasonably high self esteem.

I focus more on the final destination - the great seas. I hope that in the final seas which my kid sails to, he will finally find his own placing with good confidence. Meanwhile during the journey from pond to sea, I hope he will not be swallowed by the ugly creatures called 'Demoralisation', 'Depression' and 'Lost Confidence'. It's a long journey from pond to sea so I want to remind myself to strike a balance in every stage of his education life. What if our kid is big fish all the way then become a tiny fish at the most important final stage when they meet the other foreign, more aggressive and smarter fishes of which 45% obtain second upper honors and above. Then at that stage do we regret and say, 'I wish I had not deprived your childhood. I should have just let you go out play more and watch that movie you have wanted to watch.....'

AGREE! :goodpost:

[jedamum]

Snow Crystal:

For me, it depends on character, personality, adaptability and EQ of my child.

agreed with your posts.
but having said that, do we totally know our children's capability? we are afterall, not them.
do we really know if they are really suited for small or big pond?
sometimes, you won't know unless you try. and sometimes, you don't want to try because you are afraid, not because you can't. comfort zone may be one of the many reasons fish in small pond chose to remain in small pond.
hm..do i make sense?

regardless what pond, can swim can already. cannot swim then throw in a life jacket.

[Snow Crystal]

jedamum:

agreed with your posts.
but having said that, do we totally know our children's capability? we are afterall, not them.
do we really know if they are really suited for small or big pond?
sometimes, you won't know unless you try. and sometimes, you don't want to try because you are afraid, not because you can't. comfort zone may be one of the many reasons fish in small pond chose to remain in small pond.
hm..do i make sense?
regardless what pond, can swim can already. cannot swim then throw in a life jacket.

Yes yes of course you make sense
Nowadays pri schools have tougher ones (some call them branded) and neighbourhood type. And for many pri schools, kids are streamed into better classes, twinning classes in GEP schools etc. I think we can take some initial hint from the kid's attitude and behavior in a so-called branded/tougher primary school or in a supposed better class he/she is streamed into. I personally observe some top kids do not do well and feel small when they are streamed into better classes. I am not child psychologist but I personally feel that this type of kids may thrive better in a small pond. Just a mummy's simple observation and gut feel.

[corneyAmber]

I agree with jedamum. I don’t deliberately look for big or small pond but just ensure my child can swim and mingle with fishes with good character.


I am not quite for the idea of small pond because it is an aritificial environment I am creating for my child and raise the esteem so high…then later fall harder.

I would not look for big pond to drown the child as well…so bottomline is I prefer to ensure the child can swim, can tread water, then swim any style she wants…academic, CCA…whatever style as long as she is happy in the pond. Happy and balanced kids yield results.

But then again, every child is different so parents should know what kind of pond they thrive best. Mine is willing to go either way.

[Snow Crystal]

ksi:

Happy and balanced kids yield results.

:hi5: totally agree with this. Don't force.

[Okosbaba]

Speaking of small fish in a big pond … I am trying to figure out or test which one is better in terms of final PSLE result. A* in an average school or A / B in a good school. I was hoping that someone has already done the hard work and some statistical analysis… and could chime in the answer.