Should We Label Kids as 'Stupid' and 'Blur Sotong'?

[skunk]

forgeddit lol

[MLR]

skunk:

MLR:

I take a bus route that passes thru a primary school and a secondary school during working days. Some of the stuff that sprouts from the students just make me fall off my seat. The pri school children uses \"stupid\", \"dumb\", \"shit\", \"a*s\", sometimes even \"f**k\" freely and as a way of expression, eg. \"thats dumb/stupid\" \"you are acting like a**\", \"what the f*** you saying\", etc.

Once I asked a group of them that I meet almost daily, and they said \"everyone speaks like dat what, but we don't write like dat lah\".

The sec school kids uses these words even more freely, with some new way of using them, eg, \"hey b**ch, what you do this weekend\" (this is a boy asking another boy), to which he replied \"a**h**e, nothing lah, you plan anything?\" These kids are surely immitating the \"gangsta\" lingo in rap and such....

what's new? Rude cave drawings dating from Cro-Mangon Man period has been found. Rudeness has been around for a long time LOL

No, its not that its rude, its just that these lingos are now a norm to be use as everyday conversation amongst them.... I am just disturbed about them saying these words thinking its cool to speak in such a manner, cool to be crude? To be called a b*tc*/a**ho** by your friend/classmate? There are trends and then there are trends that are just wrong. Its like Paris Hilton coins \"Its hot/ Thats hot\" so its ok to say \"its dumb/stupid/idiot/a**\" and such????

[tutormum]

It's the herd instinct and these kids think that it's cool and show that they are in the gang. It's the responsibility of all parents and educators to correct them and show them how wrong they are. I'm very firm on such matters and in fact if the kid is smart, he won't use such derogatory words. I even taught them not to be the receiving end of such language. If their friends do not know how to speak respectfully to them, don't consider them as friends. For parents who use it on their kids, you do not know the damage you will do to them. Your words will become a self-filled prophecy in time to come. Do you really want a stupid kid?


Let me share a true story.
I have had a P3 student who was very poor in her studies, having failed all her subjects since she started school. One day, she looked at me in the eyes and said \"Teacher, I am very stupid.\" I was shocked and asked her why cos I've never believed that any student should be labeled so no matter how badly they do in school. Her reply was very sad. \"My mum said that I'm stupid cos I've never passed my exams. So I guess I'm stupid and will never amount to anything.\" I told her that I thought otherwise and encouraged her to work towards changing her mother's attitude towards her by proving that she was wrong. She has an elder sister who was doing well in school and her mother was obviously biased. Imagine her mother making remarks such as XXX is so clever and YYY is so stupid all the time. This student got the shorter end of the stick, getting blamed and flamed by her mother and lived with ridicule and bullying from her elder sister. However, she was determined to work hard, putting long hours in improving herself and her grades steadily improved. She managed to get into the Express stream - a feat that nobody believed that she was able to. Over the years, her mother's attitude changed as she proved to her mother that not only she can do well academically, she is also sensible and upright in her character. On the other hand, her elder sister behaves like the spoilt brat and perform worse over the years due to complacency. One day, my student secretly told me that her mother realised her foolishness and regretted the way she treated her children based on their academic performance/perceived intelligence. :roll:

[all.013398in.013398one]

Sigh... We have to put up with such nonsense which manifest and is everywhere! :x

Constantly, I have to look out for these bad language invading my girl
since K2. Luckily the teachers were very strict about it and pupils will
be warned or punished for using such \"S\" words.
Now, in her P1 class, her form teacher is also very particular about
such misbehaviour. So I am lucky again that someone is looking after
my child's mental well being.

Conclusion: Find your child a school thats has strong character building
initiatives as one of their top priorities. And monitor your child closely
to rid them of any contamination.

[skunk]

tutormum:

regretted the way she treated her children based on their academic performance/perceived intelligence. :roll:

but when they grow up, they will be treated based on their academic performance/perceived intelligence, won't they?

When we hand over our resume to our prospective employers, or when dealing with a superior at work, it's all about perception, isn't it?

I'm not saying it's good to be called stupid, or to go around calling others stupid, but the mouth belongs to others, they have a right to say what they want...including parents too...if a child is so easily influenced by what others say, i think the child's mental/emotional strength should be the question. We can't silence the world.

It's better and easier to bring up a strong child, than try to change the way others behave...don't you think?

[skunk]

all.in.one:

And monitor your child closely

to rid them of any contamination.

wah then i think maybe u can try buying a private island and living there LOL

[all.013398in.013398one]

skunk:

all.in.one:

And monitor your child closely

to rid them of any contamination.

wah then i think maybe u can try buying a private island and living there LOL

hahahaaaa... If I can, I will invite all the KSPs to come stay with us :lol:

[tankee]

I agree that we should use such words on our children. There is no stupid children, only stupid adults that failed to realise the potential in them and teach them right.


Marine Terrace’s schools are good school, sad to learn that there is a rotten apple.

My DS child care centre teachers actually forbid the children to use such words. I learnt about this when I was scolding myself "stupid" over my indeed stupid mistake, my DS heard and said … "oooo you say the S word, teacher say cannot use that word …"

[skunk]

I think SG is doomed at the rate this goes LOL


our kids will be so weak and molly-coodled that they cannot take criticism, whether fair or unfair.

I can imagine in 20 years’ time, more ppl jumping off buildings just because their boss say they made a stupid mistake LOL

oh well, as for my children, if they indeed have made a stupid mistake, or they were a "blur sotong", i will not mince my words with them. Feel hurt? Too bad, then don’t make the stupid mistake and don’t be blur!!!

[tutormum]

skunk:

I think SG is doomed at the rate this goes LOL


our kids will be so weak and molly-coodled that they cannot take criticism, whether fair or unfair.

I can imagine in 20 years' time, more ppl jumping off buildings just because their boss say they made a stupid mistake LOL

oh well, as for my children, if they indeed have made a stupid mistake, or they were a \"blur sotong\", i will not mince my words with them. Feel hurt? Too bad, then don't make the stupid mistake and don't be blur!!!

The problem here is not a one off remark based on their mistakes. I agree that children have to learn to live with criticism, whether fair or unfair. However, the question is \"Do you constantly subject your child to such derogatory remarks or harsh treatment?\" Parents are supposed to be the ones to protect their children. If your child can't depend on you for emotional support and protection, who can else can they look up to? My student's mother was so harsh with her that she was constantly at the receiving end of her mother's biased attitude. Her only sin was not doing well academically. When she got into an argument with her elder sister, her mother would gave her a tight slap without finding out who was at fault. Whatever it was, she's got no right to argue with her sister. If her younger brother cry, she would get beaten through no fault of hers. Her mother's reason? She didn't take care of her brother. She literally lived in fear of her mother. In fact, when her parents divorce, she was over the moon when her mother left the house. However, this girl is so sweet that over the years, not only she did not bear any grudges against her mother, she's the one her mother could rely on, choosing to forget how badly her mother had treated her. Imagine what will happen if she's bitter.
How we treat our children will come back and haunt us when we grow old. Frankly, after having worked with children and their parents for about 30 years, I've seen many sad cases and don't pity those parents whose children chose to abandon them in their old age. There were children from dysfunction families whose parents were too selfish in pursuing their own happiness and left them in foster care. There were families with mothers singlehandedly brought up the children while their fathers gambled or fooled around. There were mothers who cared more for themselves than their children' well-being. There were parents especially mothers who showed favouritism and their children grew up refusing to take care of them cos the one least favoured felt it fair that the most favoured should bear that responsibility. :rant: As tankee has stated, these are the stupid adults who did not bring up their children right and should blame nobody but themselves when their children grow up and turn their back on them. :roll: