All About Life Without Maids

[FTWM of 2]

HI, thanks for your suggestions. It helps just having an avenue to vent.


LOLMom - my mom will not come over to my house. In fact my dad is retired too, so they are both at home. My mom has never worked and has a lifestyle of her own. Put it simply, she feels restricted at my house, and basically wants us to go over. This is non - negotiable. After the 1st maid, i have told her to join me at the agency to pick maids but she does not want to trouble herself. She said we’re the employers and most importantly we have to be happy with her so she did not want to be involved. Same when we had to pick the 3rd maid.

Mamemo - i doubt a washer will help. eg. when my 1st was very young and i was still bf, i wanted to buy a sterilizer to put at her house so we don’t have to keep bringing the pumped breastmilk to and fro everyday. She said that will take up electricity. Same when we wanted to buy a milk warmer so that they don’t need to heat up the BM in hotwater and wait so long. They said "eat" their electricity. So no choice. Every night, even til this day, we are bringing 3 bottles to their house every day, and bringing it home every night to wash and sterilize and repeat.

My parents are not the easiest people to get along.

Thanks Daranic. I hope my kids will grow up soon.

[Claudine Heng]

Hi FTWM of 2,

Understand how you feel. Personal opinion is that i agree with both yr mum and hubby that you should consider getting another maid. Any reason why you want to take Indonesian maid? Reason is that i think your mum would be a better caregiver than the infant care. And with both in infant care, your work is going to be affected if any one of them gets sick and the chances are pretty high. On the other hand, honestly, without a maid, your mum may not be able to take it with all the running of the little one, and next time, the feeding of the newborn. Plus with a maid, she can help out both household chores which might help to relieve your burden especially you need some time to bond with your kids over the weekend or in the night.

When i first gave birth to my son, i actually got a maid to help my mum (as she doesnt want me to put him at Infant care). But i got myself a Filipino maid instead reason because i dont want to go through the stage of \"teaching\" the maid, and if there is a need to feed medicine, it will be easier to speak english to her (coz my parents doesnt know english). My maid is not the best maid, breaking things and forget to change baby diapers etc, but i guess i didnt really have much choice and i dont want to go through the hassle of changing maid. Then the bomb came where my mum decides its too tiring for her to take care of baby , so hubby refuse to put the baby at home with maid, and so landed i took the maid and baby and move back to our own house. But matters worsen as my maid became even more lazy, more demanding asking for phone etc, so now here i am, a SAHM, looking after my son till he is old enough to go to school.

[FTWM of 2]

fifiyeo - not possible for me to go on no pay leave. the company i'm working for is not big and we don't have job duplicates so someone has to cover me. and at my position, some things just cannot be passed down. for my 1st born, i took only 9 weeks maternity leave. i went back on the 10th week and til today, i have 15 days ML leave which i don't think i can clear by end April.


but yes, i understand that my parents can get tired. even with 2 of them, next time there'll be 2 kids although my mom told me to send #1 to childcare the moment she hits 18 months (even though my full time maid was still around then!) when she found out i was preggy with #2.

Claudine - indonesia maid because my dad can speak malay. After 10 months with my 1st maid, my mom can speak some malay words. I'm not sure if SAHM is an option with me - my boss has been quite understanding even though he loads me with ALOT of work but he is not unreasonable and i actually enjoy my work ALOT too. Plus i think i am quite well treated and paid at market rate.

[mamemo]

Hi ftwm of 2,


Think my mum and your mum quite similar…haha…has their own way of doing things…
When my kids were younger, we had the same arrangement as you, but our kids’ ages were not that close. But once they reach 18 months, i sent them to childcare, and terminated the maid. Actually, even with the maid, my mum would still have a nightly complain session to me abt the maid. So, my conclusion is, although parents are a great help, sometimes they do complicate matters. No choice, cos i didnt want my babies to go infant care since their immune systems were not built up yet, and i couldnt find a reliable nanny. Now, no complaints and my mum actually dotes more on the kids…absence makes the heart fonder…haha…

Even with a maid, i think may still be tiring for the elderly to look after two kids, so may really need to send your older one to childcare. May fall sick, but it is only the first few months. Children adapt quite fast, and teachers normally give more attention to the younger ones. Just need to think positively.

if you really want to go without maid, explore nanny option for your baby and childcare for your older. However, as baby is still small, you’ll have to do the baby chores (maybe for both children) : night feeds, sterilise bottles, bathe; and maybe use washing machine for babies clothes. Plus what if children falls sick? Eg after vaccination, or after the older one goes to childcare. These are practical issues to think through.

Oh, suddenly thought of another way…is your parents’ house big enough to accomodate your family and maid? maybe can stay with your parents to work around the maid work in 2 household issue.

[Shoe]

Actually, germs may not be a bad thing, so infant care may not be a bad thing either.


Just sharing a link...

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2012/03/26/let-them-eat-dirt-how-clean-environments-may-set-kids-up-for-immune-problems/

[MintyMin]

Dear ftwm of 2,


M a ftwm of 3, i noe ur frustrations.. :hugs:

From what i noe, correct me if I am wrong.

I tot it is ok for maid to help up at the grandparents' plc as long as there is infant or kids that went over with them. And while the grandparents look after their grandchild, the maid shld help with the hsework.

But having said that, I know they are not allowed to do the SAME household chores in the same day.. example, if she mopped floor at ur parents' plc today, she can't mop at ur plc today but only tomorrow.

U should read tamarind's blog to better understand hw to help yourself.

[Claudine Heng]

Hi Mamemo and Shoe, can i know what type of boxes you all use to freeze? Original Tupperware or LocknLock?


But can i assume that the veg wash and cut in the morning - but i put it back in the fridge after i finshed, but only cook in late afternoon - should still be fresh right?

[Claudine Heng]

Thanks Thanks for your advices!

[Shoe]

Hi Claudine, you're welcome. I use lock and lock for the freezer... I have plenty of Tupperware but never got round to getting them for the freezer..


Should be ok... I also get easy to wash veges like carrots and snow peas... Minimize washing

[mamemo]

Hi Claudine, I used Lock and Lock too.


you're welcome! we're here to share experiences