How much household income is enough?

[cherrygal]

Yes totally agree it is a vicious cycle. It's a tit for tat game. And who's to stop the employers from being \"smelly feet\" (say in hokkien)...


Nasty bosses are also taking advantage of the fact that preggies cannot find work elsewhere so must \"tong\" no matter what... when they cut your bonus, what can you say?

[Funz]

Just because someone is ‘smelly feet’ doesn’t mean you have to be one as well.


Ok back to the poster with the problem of to let his wife quit.

One advise, talk to your wife’s doc about how she is feeling. Never know she could be suffering from some level of pre-natal depression.

[Shoe]

nobodybutchiew,

I think the first trimester may be a bad time to make such a big decision as quitting. It is quite a lot of pay to forfeit. In addition, when your wife feels better, she may want to continue working.

I really love my work and would be very sad if I had to quit, even though during the 1st trimester of my 2nd pregnancy, I was dragging myself to work and wondering how I could ever make it through the day. I had very bad MS and fatigue and even needed hospitalization in the first tri ‘cos I couldn’t keep anything down. I tried a lot of things to quell the nausea. Chewing gum, sour plums, small snacks. I practically had my head over the toilet bowl in between meetings. I tried to keep my days short and at times when my physical presence was not required, I asked my superiors to allow me to finish my work at home. Thankfully, they were very supportive.

Anyway, when I hit around 20 weeks, I stopped having any nausea, got my energy back and really appreciated that I had my job to keep me busy and also, to not have to worry about the financial situation (unlike in my first pregnancy). I worked till 1 week before I delivered.

I was determined not to give pregnant women a bad name because I faced pregnancy discrimination in my first pregnancy. I was hired then fired within a week, when they found out I was pregnant. I did not know I was preggy when I got the job. It was really awful but then, if pregnant women don’t pull their weight when they can, employers wouldn’t touch us with a ten-foot pole.

Just my two cents’ worth.

[cherrygal]

well, my frens were sure of not returning to work ever so they left right after the maternity leave. Of coz there are consequences to doing that and the employee is always at the losing end if you leave indiscriminately…


Just be patient and get her checked out. If she can, hold out till the birth of the kid before deciding to stay or not. Ultimately, your wife’s sanity is more important than anything else (boss’ impression, bad name, whether your income is enuff etc). The boss is not gonna give you any compensation if your wife ends up with depression.

Take care!

[Oppsgal]

Shoe:

The 1st trimester's really grim but if she can hang in there for a bit, things will usually get better. If your wife's intention, when she feels better, is still not to work, then I have to agree with Funz, quit on a good note and not burn bridges!


I am a firm believer of living simply and within your means.
I was jobless when I got preggy with my 1st and we were both starting out in our working lives.
Babies don't really need that much stuff. I think I only used 30% of what I bought for my first kid... Try and get hand-me-downs and secondhand stuff..Breast feed (saves a tonne on formula). We ate at home and cooked all our meals. Even made hubby take a lunchbox to work... I gave tuition after baby turned 3 months to supplement income and returned to full time work after 1 year... Doable..

\"I gave tuition after baby turned 3 months to supplement income\"...any helping hands at home? If got then doable.

[Shoe]

Oppsgal, grandparents… Only taught 4 hours a week tho…

[Oppsgal]

Shoe:

Oppsgal, grandparents... Only taught 4 hours a week tho...

4 hours? Earn how much? I am still debating want to work full time or part time.

[Lyddon]

The correct way is to determine that $$$ number is to tabulate how much you spend, why you spend it and when you spent it.


Persist with that for a couple of weeks, you have a rough idea what are the essential expenses and nice-to-have expenses.

Do it for an entire year and you’ll have a good overview on what is minimum income you need per year, what to budget for nice-to-haves and maybe even some extras investments.

[Lyddon]

With 1-year worth of detailed expense vs income, benchmark that against general framework of prudent family financial planning.


eg. w% for mortgage, x% of everyday expense, y% of nice-to-haves, and z% for savings/investments.

There are different yardsticks of what is prudent family financial planning. Plenty of examples via google.

Manage your family assets and cash flow as if it’s a business. If managed well, your family will have sufficient for retirement. If not, well… let’s hope your family well being is not affected by money.

[Canvas]

nobodybutchiew:

1. Thankfully when we booked our flat, the 4-room flats had already sold out, so we were forced to buy a 3-room flat. Although small, I'm very thankful that our CPF can fully cover for it.
2. We don't have a car, although we have a very high reliance on taxis.
3. Not sure what's excessive. Mine is about $200 a month, hers is $300 a month.
4. We'll probably get a no-interest loan with a perpetual payback period from our parents.

I think it's actually \"doable\" for your income/situation/savings to allow your wife to stay at home. Usually the first trimester is really tough to go through and I know women who vomited throughout the pregnancy (not just the first trimester). I hope your wife will feel better soon but prenatal depression is no joke, bring her out for relaxing walks often and reassure her frequently that you are always there for her. Don't fret. You have to be strong to show her that you are behind her & the baby.