Principal of top school under investigation for hiring prost

[tankee]

Mod's Note



Dear all

Kindly note that there is a court gag order on identifying the girl's identity.

The punishment for breaking a gag order is a fine of up to $5,000 or jail time of up to 12 months, or both.

Please do not get yourself nor this forum in trouble with the law. Kindly amend your own posts if required.

Thanks.

[Chenonceau]

3Boys:

Chenonceau:

[quote=\"3Boys\"]Sorry Chenonceau, I believe your perception is one dimensional. There are plenty of girls with the 'right' upbringing (not mall rats) who will take a liberal attitude towards sex, possibly even abetted by their parents. In your view, it is wrong, reprehensible, and therefore pitiable and they should be treated with great sympathy. My view is, it is what it is, society has developed along these lines and sexual morality has loosened to extent that these things no longer have the stigma of the past. These folk will live this lifestyle and ask for neither excuses or sympathy. Not all of them are the product of a disadvantaged home. So please don't make the assumption that this girl is somehow 'broken', I'm not so sure she thinks she is. And who is to say, even IF she had a mother like you, in today's society, she could not have headed down the same path? I know of children from strict upbringing who have turned out different from expected. So we do our best and pray, but ultimately the kids make up their own minds.

I am not assuming that she is from a disadvantaged home. I just don't think people should assume that she was not and just completely destroy a young person's life for mistakes she was enticed into when she was 16.

I think the concept that she MAY be from a broken background, and how that may play into her behaviour, is well understood. But I think you have taken an overly sympathetic tone towards this girl, and perhaps are over stating the role of 'background' in shaping her behaviours. My wife and I apply 110% effort to our kids, and I'm still not sure how they will turn out. Its not as if this girl had no choices.

On the other point, I'm not so sure she has any qualms about destroying the lives of 50+ men and possibly their families.[/quote]I don't think she knew what she was doing (destroying men). I have a 18 year old who has been known to make strange choices too for not having thought through things to the end. A mother in another thread motivates her child to study for PSLE by setting the goal of a certain top school, without thinking through to the end - what will it mean for the child's motivation levels in secondary school IF the child fails to get into the school?

We ALL do things we regret for not having thought it through to the end.

Let's not quibble about my being overly sympathetic or not. You seriously want me to write to the level of PERFECT BALANCE like this were my thesis? Plenty were baying for her blood already. I just wanted to introduce a notion NO ONE has put forth yet, and I am accused of being imbalanced in sympathy.

Some kindness would become us, no?

[3Boys]

Chenonceau:

Let's not quibble about my being overly sympathetic or not. You seriously want me to write to the level of PERFECT BALANCE like this were my thesis?

Some kindness would become us, no?

No, but you are certainly welcome to

Poise and counterpoise...that's what this is about.

I think many are outraged that so many families have been badly affected by the actions of a single girl (and her pimp), and yet she seems to have gotten away scot free. So the 'baying for blood' needs to be seen in that context, some balance to the 'cause and effect', which seems lacking at this point. I don't think we are being unkind, we just don't think that justice has been served (at least I don't).

[cfan]

I once knew a young girl (early 20s) who had lost her mom (mother died after giving birth to her) when she was a baby. Her father was not the one who raised her up (don’t know reason) and she was left with her mom’s family. Her mom when died left all her money to her dad (maybe no will at that time, etc) and her mom’s family (aunties, uncles etc) resented her as they felt they needed to bring up somebody’s kid and yet they did not have any $$ (Family background not good). Only her grandmother was good to her and her grandmother died when she was still teenager. Then after her grandmother died her father came into the picture and want her to live with him and his new family where she have stepsister and step brother. She is not on good terms with her stepmother as she felt her stepmother disliked her.


She is not what I would want my kids to grow up to be but I feel sad for her because she did not have any proper guidance while growing up. Needless to say, cannot study and also don’t bother to study as she thinks she can’t make it. Making friends online and just going out with anybody she "friends" and thinks it’s real fun to go for ladies night in clubs.

Yes some might say she chose to live her life the way she wants but I could not help but feel that if she had proper guidance when she was young maybe she might have been different.

Of course, I also know another teenager who was in and out of Boys’ Home as he felt that his mom don’t love him. I also don’t know the reason. I saw the mom who felt he was everything to her when he was born. She worked hard and she blamed herself for putting him at his grandparents place where he mixed wih the bad company and ended up disobedient and all. Now he is finally out of Boys’ Home and is now working and earning his own keep. I never asked him whether does he feel any regrets for the time he has wasted but I felt that if he had not done what he had done he might even have been better off? Of course I don’t mean to say that you will only be successful if you have high flying career, see those that were prosecuted for this case, I don’t believe they are any better now…

Just feel very very sad that sometimes children grow up to be what they grow up to be partly due to adults negligence or ignorant and this cycle continues on?..

I just hope that they will all overcome one day and that rainbow will appear for them if they are really repentant and wished to move forward in a good way.

[Chenonceau]

3Boys:

Chenonceau:

You mean your kids don't sin? They don't tell lies? They don't forget to do homework? They don't take a bite of that apple pie you saved for their sibling? They don't hanker after that latest gizmo? Kids can be naughty. As parents, we all know that. Kids have the propensity to sin.

Some kids make big sins. But they're still kids.

Of course they do, which is my point.

Regardless of what their backgrounds may be, there still needs to be accountability. They cannot forever lay the blame (if at all) at the feet of their parents and/or poor home environment.

Forgive? Yes

Judge and correct? Yes, also....

This... I don't dispute. I have not once critiqued the process of law. I believe she needs counselling. I believe she needs to be held to account as any juvenile delinquent. However, I am uncomfortable when people plaster her photos all over the internet and email her name to me. There is a gag order, remember? That is provided by law. What gives us the right to mete out justice that the law is hesitant to mete out?

It is not an easy decision. The process of crafting a law is long and diligent. This protects the society as a whole. At present, the law states this. If we disagree with the provisions of the law, then we can critique it. We can push for systemic change through the due process of changing the law. But we have no right to take the law into our own hands on the pretext that we have peers who were secret prostitutes in the past... who weren't poor. We have no right to take it out on this 17 year old just because the Woman's Charter is biased... and I too believe it is.

Poor or not, is beside the point. Girls who develop bodies early WILL run a higher risk of early sexual initiation. I saw it happen with my friend in JC at a beach, getting flattering attention from 2 Caucasians. It was a good thing the Teacher in charge was 1.8m tall and ex-rugby player. Thankfully, I developed late... and only had such attention after I got married... by which time I was well equipped to understand the moral issues deeply and handle it.

Edited: Ummm... thinking back... I did get indecently propositioned in uni... but uni is not 15, 16 or 17.

[Chenonceau]

3Boys:

Chenonceau:

Let's not quibble about my being overly sympathetic or not. You seriously want me to write to the level of PERFECT BALANCE like this were my thesis?

Some kindness would become us, no?

No, but you are certainly welcome to

Poise and counterpoise...that's what this is about.

I think many are outraged that so many families have been badly affected by the actions of a single girl (and her pimp), and yet she seems to have gotten away scot free. So the 'baying for blood' needs to be seen in that context, some balance to the 'cause and effect', which seems lacking at this point. I don't think we are being unkind, we just don't think that justice has been served (at least I don't).

I understand this completely. And I don't disagree. I just thought someone needs to write a counterpoint.

[buds]

Honestly it's sad. It's more common than we choose to think it is. Men patronizing.... It's scary how one can dig out so much dirt from the Internet because all info are cached the minute you share online. Thats how some frenz and I found dirt abt their husbands. No need PI. One recent close friend sought out our girl reinforcements to get all info online on her DH (stumbled upon an account with online sex forum) and we were appalled to read of all his trysts locally n even overseas! For donkey years too! Really feel for my friend and still helping her heal n she is reinventing herself bit by bit.


Faith...? Yes men who patronize can have faith too.. So why??? Wives reflect. We are spiritually connected??? We do have it. We do as many times a day as and when. No rejections. No problems in marriage. No recent trouble over relationship or elders. And then after all those questions you go thru over n over without sound answers or answers you think you wanna hear... honestly... anyone can snap. While these real victims (the wives) stand by their man n slowly relearn how to rebuild their family, they need lots of emotional support. We girls will cry and rant together with her anytime she needs us... Without sound support system, she may crumble and forget she can still live a fulfilling life (with change) for herself and children.

As long as men use wrong heads each time they are supposedly \"stressed\" *roll eyes* or \"feels challenged\" or even \"undermined\"... they go into escapism. Seeking pleasures with no strings attached. They CAN still put a stand that it never meant that they don't love their spouses.

I hafta agree with 3Boys that young girls these days aren't as innocent we think they are. Not all of course. Just overheard some girls from a reputable n hottest school in CCK discussing which girl had done it with whom and it is common knowledge amongst them, schoolmates! :faint: They should be around P5/P6! Before we left to take the bus, heard one girl calling her mom saying she's going home to study and sleep and told her mommy to wake her up for dinner. No, I bet the mother doesn't know.

[3Boys]

Chenonceau:

I understand this completely. And I don't disagree. I just thought someone needs to write a counterpoint.

Cheerio :celebrate:

[phtthp]

can parents kindly share ... how to advise P5/ p6 kids, Secondary school to poly / JC teenagers nowadays (both sons and daughters) to keep their body chaste, till they get married one day ? and how not to get influenced by classmates who boast their \"sleeping\" experience ?


after this incident, this is a very important topic for Parenting Teenagers. Thank you for sharing.

[fightingmom]

phtthp:

can parents kindly share ... how to advise P5/ p6 kids, Secondary school to poly / JC teenagers nowadays (both sons and daughters) to keep their body chaste, till they get married one day ? and how not to get influenced by classmates who boast their \"sleeping\" experience ? Thank you for sharing.

Suggestions ... maybe we should start a different thread from this ?