How much u trust ur wife/husband? wholeheartedly? 200%?

[missk]

Trust him to behave around outside? Always

With my son? Um... 50%
With housework? Never! You might have to undo his mistakes afterwards!

[fightingmom]

missk:

With housework? Never! You might have to undo his mistakes afterwards!

Oooh... if my DH helps out ( and he does occasionally if i am overwhelmed with housework plus revision with my DD), i will still show my appreciation even if it is \"not up to my standard\". To me, certain stuff can be overlooked ... more important is the effort he puts in to make the place that we call home

[missk]

Trust him to behave around outside? Always

With my son? Um... 50%
With housework? Never! You might have to undo his mistakes afterwards!

[missk]

Trust him to behave around outside? Always

With my son? Um... 50%
With housework? Never! You might have to undo his mistakes afterwards!

[LOLMum]

i suspect my dh has a bit of 洁癖 (emotional and physical contact with others) so i am not too worried.


some guys dont mind having one nite stand or a fling but in their heart, they dont have any intention of divorcing the wife.

one of my brothers is very hands on with the housework, taking care of the children, very minimal social outings with friends and has already saved up quite a tidy sum for all his 3 kids and his wife. his is family first. but i would cant say he is a fantastic grab as a husband.

why?

because he runs his household in a very military style. must listen to him (very practical but can be very stubborn 99% of the times). everything is about discipline and obedience.

i think my sil prefers he goes out with his frineds more often.

[missk]

fightingmom:

missk:

With housework? Never! You might have to undo his mistakes afterwards!

Oooh... if my DH helps out ( and he does occasionally if i am overwhelmed with housework plus revision with my DD), i will still show my appreciation even if it is \"not up to my standard\". To me, certain stuff can be overlooked ... more important is the effort he puts in to make the place that we call home

True, he says my standard too high. Hey, but I had to draw the line the last time he decided to save water and use water that was soaking soiled clothes to wash toilet floor

[kwokwc]

sleepy:

Agreed. Trust but not blind trust.

My friend's dh travelled to China frequently and she said her dh 'confessed' that during entertainment have to 逢场做戏 so he did caress ktv girls' arms, waist and thighs but he insisted nothing beyond. Don't know how she managed to dig that juicy bit out from him :scratchhead:

Looking at her dh, he's the goody goody honest, good husband, good father kind of man. So trust or don't trust in this case? Furthermore, it's so far away, there's no way she can verify his words. On home ground, he is well behaved.

So my friend chose to trust him. But she sort of gave 'warning' by asking her dh innocently whether it's fine if another man touches her arms, waist and thighs. If he expects these zone to be acceptable to her, then he can accept the same 尺度 too, so long they can come to an agreement to avoid any future misunderstanding. She said her dh went paled Okay, my friend is still quite beautiful for her age so I guess her threat seems viable.

Sorry, want to find a place to get some opinion. My dh travels to China often too and he does confess to me that he also 逢场做戏 so he also caress ktv girls' arms, waist and thighs. However, for his trip recent trip, he told me that one of his friend actually can get a room in the KTV and do you know what. Then just 2 days back, he told me his friend got hom a room. Hmm, he told me nothing. How to believe him? I mean can men resist such temptations? I really wonder. :scratchhead:

Not really that I don't believe him. All along he has lied to me several times. He is that type unless I can catch him red-handed, he won't admit that he has done the thing. Nope, he has not done anything unfaithful before. But he drinks when I don't really want him to drink so much. And I have caught several times hiding from me when he drinks.

I am really confused now and don't know what to do. I really need some advice. Feeling really terrible. :sad:

[LOLMum]

unfortunately when doing biz in china, 90% of entertainment involved women. the men may not go for full course but starter is definitely eaten either reluctantly or with eager anticipation.



there is nothing you can do since he denied crossing the line.

my friend chose to close one eye and trust her hubby. how she knew? one nite he received a sms in the middle of nite. she checked and found a cheesy love message like "i miss you, when are you coming again".

my galfriend very smart, kept calm and thrashed it out immediately with him. luckily ok though he still got to go to china frequently.

you cant stop him from going to china since this is part of his jop scope.
dont forget if his clients come to spore, he might be expected to take them to niteclubs here which is worse. the woman is here in spore and can hook up with him easily.

so if you really feel insecured, tell him. let him know. dont keep it to yourself.

when he comes home from such trips, be extra nice to him, cook him his favourite food. get the children to express their delight in having him home etc. both you and kids try to be a bit more 嗲. make him feel his importance in the family.

meanwhile, go spend his money. put some into private savings. make yourself and kids happy.

[winnie_pooh]

Which cat won’t see fish…

[sleepy]

kwokwc:

Sorry, want to find a place to get some opinion. My dh travels to China often too and he does confess to me that he also 逢场做戏 so he also caress ktv girls' arms, waist and thighs. However, for his trip recent trip, he told me that one of his friend actually can get a room in the KTV and do you know what. Then just 2 days back, he told me his friend got hom a room. Hmm, he told me nothing. How to believe him? I mean can men resist such temptations? I really wonder. :scratchhead:

Not really that I don't believe him. All along he has lied to me several times. He is that type unless I can catch him red-handed, he won't admit that he has done the thing. Nope, he has not done anything unfaithful before. But he drinks when I don't really want him to drink so much. And I have caught several times hiding from me when he drinks.

I am really confused now and don't know what to do. I really need some advice. Feeling really terrible. :sad:

LOLMum:

unfortunately when doing biz in china, 90% of entertainment involved women. the men may not go for full course but starter is definitely eaten either reluctantly or with eager anticipation.

there is nothing you can do since he denied crossing the line.

you cant stop him from going to china since this is part of his jop scope.

when he comes home from such trips, be extra nice to him, cook him his favourite food. get the children to express their delight in having him home etc. both you and kids try to be a bit more 嗲. make him feel his importance in the family.

I feel that the most scary factor is peer pressure. If others around are nonchantlant about cheating on their wives, a man may feel the pressure to conform to 'norm' so that other men wouldn't laugh at him for being hen pecked. Mix with black ink would get smudged too.


Donkey years ago, my dh used to travel frequently to China too. His GM then would drag him & another colleague to night spot all the time. Agreed with LOLmum, unavoidable if job called for it. How to turn down the big boss?

I didn't like it but I didn't have a solution either. Fortunately, my dh joined a new company soon after & rarely need to travel to China. And now that he is older & wiser, he is experienced enough to wriggle himself out of unnecessary entertainment.

Oh just to add, you need to know your dh's pattern to handle appropriately.

Somehow 嗲 doesn't work well on my dh. Only backfires. Boast his confidence too much and he would become too ya-ya & have the false illusion I would forgive him for 'anything' since I'm such a loving wife. So I need to alternate between 嗲 & aloofness to keep him on his toes.