HOW TO MOTIVATE MY GIRL TO PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN HER STUDIES

[hokkiengirl]

Chenonceau:

schweppes... :thankyou:


Here is the last strategy...

(3) Repair the emotional umbilical cord. If a child withdraws completely from the parent, it may be a response to stop negative emotional contagion from coming through the emotional umbilical cord. The link is therefore blocked/damaged. Of all the motivation strategies available for use, it is Emotional Connection that I use most. As long as the connection is strong and allows quick flowthrough, I have at all times a powerful tool to resource my children. Through this cord, I can feed emotional strength, hope and courage. If this cord is damaged, I cannot feed the healing emotions that will help my child stand up again after disappointment and catastrophe. Strategies (1) and (2) above could go some way in repairing this emotional link between parent and child.

Oh, Chen, that was just beautiful. I'm having crisis after crisis with Eldest Son. There are days when I feel like giving him up for adoption. I want to get my baby back!!! Ok, I'm gonna get your book! Thanks so much!!!!

[Chenonceau]

hokkiengirl:

Oh, Chen, that was just beautiful. I'm having crisis after crisis with Eldest Son. There are days when I feel like giving him up for adoption. I want to get my baby back!!! Ok, I'm gonna get your book! Thanks so much!!!!

Hahaha... kam siah. Though... the book isn't on improving relationships... it's about motivating your child to WANT to study. However, if a parent can properly motivate, the relationship will improve.

[schweppes]

Chenonceau:

hokkiengirl:

Oh, Chen, that was just beautiful. I'm having crisis after crisis with Eldest Son. There are days when I feel like giving him up for adoption. I want to get my baby back!!! Ok, I'm gonna get your book! Thanks so much!!!!

Hahaha... kam siah. Though... the book isn't on improving relationships... it's about motivating your child to WANT to study. However, if a parent can properly motivate, the relationship will improve.

That'll be your SECOND book, Chen :rahrah: :rahrah: Me also want to get a copy of your book. :please:

Let us know how to go about it and when it's ready. Thanks

[Dino_Mummy]

Hi Chen,


I am interested to get a copy of your book too.

Can you please PM me when the \"Book Order Form\" (on your blog, i suppose?) is ready?

:please: Appreciate your effort in taking time to put it in 'layman' terms so it would be easy to digest.

:thankyou:

[coast]

Chenonceau:

The Book Order Form will be ready by end of next week. In the lead-up to the Book Launch, I will be writing Special Issue Blogposts on various aspects of Human Motivation which you may find interesting. These pages will give potential customers a good feel of what to expect from the book. I have to do this because readers will not have the opportunity to browse the book otherwise. Since I couldn't put everything I know into the book, I still have plenty else to blog about.

I have sent both of you a Private Message.

Hi Chenonceau,

It is interesting that we share similar views on certain parenting styles or techniques that might appear unconventional to others.

I have a strong bond with my DS and a lot of things come naturally. I just rely on my instincts but it’s certainly reassuring when I read your posts here. I can't thank you enough

I do feel bad sometimes when I cannot explain much in a short conversation when other parents or teachers with kids around my DS age ask me eagerly for parenting tips. Now I can just point them to your book :xedfingers:

I would like order a copy of your book but will be away next week. Please let me know via PM if I can place an advance order? Thanks!

I am so happy for you! Hope your book becomes a bestseller soon :rahrah:

[Chenonceau]

Hokkiengirl, Schweppes, Dino_Mummy and Coast... thank you for such publicly warm and encouraging words on this thread (and privately encouraging PMs over the past 2 years). Please accept a very small gesture of thanks on my part. It isn't very much but I would like to waive postage charges for ONLY the 4 of you. It's not so much the $$ but a small gesture of heartfelt thanks - especially to Coast for all her moral support.


I am such a sucker for praise right? Sigh!!

Meanwhile, please kindly PM me
(1) Your mailing address
(2) Your email
(3) Your Full Name as in bank account (so I can recognise your payment)
(4) How many books you want

[hokkiengirl]

Chenonceau:

Hahaha... kam siah. Though... the book isn't on improving relationships... it's about motivating your child to WANT to study. However, if a parent can properly motivate, the relationship will improve.

Yup, I figure that if I learn how to properly motivate (as opposed to losing my cool and screaming like a banshee after a while) and he learns how to be happily motivated, we will have less conflict with each other. Can I assume that the motivational techniques can also be applied to other areas of life and not just studies? It's fine if it is very specifically about academics, too; managing that area will already help us loads!!

[hokkiengirl]

Chenonceau:

Hokkiengirl, Schweppes, Dino_Mummy and Coast... thank you for such publicly warm and encouraging words on this thread (and privately encouraging PMs over the past 2 years). Please accept a very small gesture of thanks on my part. It isn't very much but I would like to waive postage charges for ONLY the 4 of you. It's not so much the $$ but a small gesture of heartfelt thanks - especially to Coast for all her moral support.

:thankyou: !!! Much, much appreciated. Will send you a pm with the necessary info.

[Chenonceau]

hokkiengirl:

Chenonceau:

Hahaha... kam siah. Though... the book isn't on improving relationships... it's about motivating your child to WANT to study. However, if a parent can properly motivate, the relationship will improve.

Yup, I figure that if I learn how to properly motivate (as opposed to losing my cool and screaming like a banshee after a while) and he learns how to be happily motivated, we will have less conflict with each other. Can I assume that the motivational techniques can also be applied to other areas of life and not just studies? It's fine if it is very specifically about academics, too; managing that area will already help us loads!!

I use the strategies for everything...
(1) Motivate husband to come home early
(2) Motivate husband to buy me an eternity bracelet
(3) Motivate students to dress properly
(4) Motivate managers to do stuff in workshops

Blah... blah... blah...

The issue isn't in the strategies. It's how well you apply them. I've had Mommies come for therapy sessions and not until I play back the video do they realise what went wrong and why their child responded well to ME... but no longer respond well when the Mommies take over and LOOK LIKE they are using the same strategies.

It's like dancing. It involves both your cognition and your body.

Another Mommy after attending the therapy, went home and within 1 week worked a miracle on her nephew (whose own Mom was undergoing a divorce and was giving trouble in school). The word \"miracle\" was used by the nephew's Teacher. This Mommy caught on real fast and was able to transpose the techniques super easily to other situations and people.

Yet other Mommies still face problems with their own children even after 1 full session of therapy. I need to video tape over multiple sessions... talk through the events of the week every week... address one Mommy behaviour at a time.

Slowly.

Mommies are different. Some behaviours are alien to some Moms. It isn't intelligence. It's the shape of the Mom's psychology. You might be like that Mom who is a natural and can quickly implement the strategies across situations. Or you might be of the type that needs more feedback.

Play with the strategies and see for yourself.

[hokkiengirl]

Chenonceau:

[The issue isn't in the strategies. It's how well you apply them. I've had Mommies come for therapy sessions and not until I play back the video do they realise what went wrong and why their child responded well to ME... but no longer respond well when the Mommies take over and LOOK LIKE they are using the same strategies.

Got it, thanks! Your book is probably a must-read for me. I have a lot of theory about and not enough practice with gentle encouragement and motivation. Hope it sells really well! I will go tell all my mummy friends to buy!!!