is this considered mental problem?can it be cured at IMH?

[cool_hi]

hi, need some advice…if someone likes to pick up quarrels & every time wants to WIN in any situation/argument, insist people to declare that she is the WINNER, if not, will scream & shout, does this person has mental problem?

already goes on for past 30 years…always need to pick on things & people, to start a quarrel…u leave her alone, she will provoke u hoping to hear u say wrong things(IN her own opinion), then she will ‘bite on’ what u said which she deem as wrong, & can go on for weeks & pester u, insisting that u are wrong etc…tell & broadcast to everyone she knows, just to make everyone thinks that she is right, u are wrong…Does this person has mental problem??

NOW it’s getting worse…coz now it’s EVERYDAY must pick quarrel…u avoid her…she can even call u to quarrel…

is this considered some kind of mental problem? coz she can even say & twist things purposely, & cause her own children to quarrel…I can’t understand how a mother can bring herself to do such things…derive pleasure in seeing her own children quarrel!! sigh!!

[verykiasu2010]

need counseling first failing which IMH


IMH also has counseling but for the stigma

[cool_hi]

thanks for advice!! u mean those counselling centres, like Fei Yue right?

in the 1st place, getting her to go for counselling is a near-impossible challenge…coz this in itself, obviously will be another opportunity for her to start a quarrel!!

while she’s going on the outrage, going mad…she is causing people around her lots of mental stress…in order to maintain our own sanity, we avoid her & her calls…but this in itself, also can also start a quarrel…u don’t talk, also she will say things like, "why don’t talk? feeling guity ah? that’s why don’t dare to talk ah?" WTH!!! really can drive u nuts!!

[verykiasu2010]

no nid to bring her for counseling head on


just pakat with counselor come have tea and chit chat

you can do things without announcing it, without "officialising" it

[cool_hi]

hey! thanks for your idea!! ok, will see whether can ‘achieve’ or not…

but i am very sure, end up, she will scream & shout at the counsellor…
in public, also she will scream & shout…will be very embarrassing!! sigh!

I think it’s more of a serious extreme character flaw, whereby she thinks she must win every ‘battle’…& when she does not, that’s it, she will find every chance to find trouble with the person, make the person ‘say wrong thing’…then she create a chance to try to win again…I have never seen such a quarrelsome person before…but sadly, this person has been ‘in’ my life all this while…I am her ‘target’ coz I am not pretentious/hypocritical, & do not curry flavour her like others…sigh!!
I need PEACE very badly!!

[verykiasu2010]

I am sure the counselor will let her win any debate / argument

[cool_hi]

haha! so I should trust the counsillor to know how to handle her huh? okies okies..thanks!! appreciate your advice

[verykiasu2010]

cool_hi:

haha! so I should trust the counsillor to know how to handle her huh? okies okies..thanks!! appreciate your advice

you should discuss with the counselor the problem before hand, and agree on a strategy

[pinky]

is she living alone? if not, is she lonely (with children working whole day and grandchildren visiting once a while only)?

sometimes there are some underlying causes that manifest in such behaviour. She may be trying to attract some attention.

[shinri]

cool_hi... that sounds exactly like my colleague's MIL! :yikes:

I hear exactly the same complaints... Are you my collleague lol...