Real reason behind Singapore’s obsession with tuition

[verykiasu2010]

schweppes:

verykiasu2010:

in the real world where kiasuness is a way of life to many people, what is a want to some people is deemed a need by others, from kiasu point of view

here are some anecdotes from real people :-

student B : how did you do for HCL?
student A : my HCL sucks, 我的华文很烂!
student B : I got 95. what is yours ?
student A : I got 98 only (the person ended up among the top in the cohort )

student B : how is you math score ?
student C : threw the test paper away oredi lah.
student B : why ?
student C : only 92

Find the above very sad and scary thought leh. No doubt, A and C are very intelligent kids but sadly, have a somewhat distorted view of life. What happens when they progress to the Uni... where getting 80+, let alone 90 and above is so hard to attain. The norm can be in the 60s and for the very good ones, maybe only 70s? Then what is life to them then? End of the world?

no scared

they know very well pri sch and lower sec still got chance to get 100 marks but when they go higher, less chances to get such high marks

but some of them still can get very very high scores even in SMO

for them it is a physical and mental discipline to put in their bestest best in whatever they do, be it studies or sports or community service. they are not satisfied with just being above average or very good

during school holidays they spent long hours helping out the less fortunate people in mission trips etc

[schweppes]

Dreamaurora:

I think let me share my perspective on this tuition thing from an Indonesian Chinese point of view.

Thanks for sharing, Dreamaurora

Sometimes I wonder in this day and age, will parents balk if their kids choose a career path less travelled?

Say... they want to be an actor, painter, artist, musician...? Will parents mind? It's still a decent and respectable job, but not what the parents had in mind, like being a doctor, banker, lawyer, engineer....

[verykiasu2010]

jtoh:

schweppes:

[quote=\"verykiasu2010\"]
in the real world where kiasuness is a way of life to many people, what is a want to some people is deemed a need by others, from kiasu point of view

here are some anecdotes from real people :-

student B : how did you do for HCL?
student A : my HCL sucks, 我的华文很烂!
student B : I got 95. what is yours ?
student A : I got 98 only (the person ended up among the top in the cohort )

student B : how is you math score ?
student C : threw the test paper away oredi lah.
student B : why ?
student C : only 92

Find the above very sad and scary thought leh. No doubt, A and C are very intelligent kids but sadly, have a somewhat distorted view of life. What happens when they progress to the Uni... where getting 80+, let alone 90 and above is so hard to attain. The norm can be in the 60s and for the very good ones, maybe only 70s? Then what is life to them then? End of the world?

This is very real. It still happens with some students at secondary school. Anything less than 90 is not acceptable. (<95 for some kids). Often times it's a demand from the parent instilled from primary school that's now ingrained in the child that anything less than perfect is not acceptable. :faint:[/quote]some parents instil fears and demand for performance

some parent instil value and virtue -- in whatever they do, do they best and not wishy washy mediocrity

[schweppes]

verykiasu2010:

some parents instil fears and demand for performance


some parent instil value and virtue -- in whatever they do, do they best and not wishy washy mediocrity

yup!! that's why very important parents must also learn to calibrate their expectations and instil right values on their children

[schweppes]

verykiasu2010:

they know very well pri sch and lower sec still got chance to get 100 marks but when they go higher, less chances to get such high marks


but some of them still can get very very high scores even in SMO

for them it is a physical and mental discipline to put in their bestest best in whatever they do, be it studies or sports or community service. they are not satisfied with just being above average or very good

during school holidays they spent long hours helping out the less fortunate people in mission trips etc

Good to hear that

... but hor, sometimes in life, one can't be above average or very good all the time. What then? Is it ok for them to be \"average\" once in a while?

I have come across some very bright undergrads who find it difficult to accept that they may not be top students at the Uni, and sometimes are part of the middling crowd. Mind you, they are already the top 5% of their cohort but even amongst the brightest and smartest, there lies the bell curve within. But being \"average\" amongst the brightest was devastating.

Like what u in one of your earlier posts, receiving the right parental support and values system become very important in calibrating everyone's expectations and outlook in life.

[jtoh]

schweppes:

verykiasu2010:

they know very well pri sch and lower sec still got chance to get 100 marks but when they go higher, less chances to get such high marks


but some of them still can get very very high scores even in SMO

for them it is a physical and mental discipline to put in their bestest best in whatever they do, be it studies or sports or community service. they are not satisfied with just being above average or very good

during school holidays they spent long hours helping out the less fortunate people in mission trips etc

Good to hear that

... but hor, sometimes in life, one can't be above average or very good all the time. Then, what then? Is it ok for them to be \"average\" once in a while?

I have come across some very bright undergrads who find it difficult to accept that they may not be top students at the Uni, and sometimes are part of the middling crowd. Mind you, they are already the top 5% of their cohort but even amongst the brightest and smartest, there lies the bell curve within. But being \"average\" amongst the brightest was devastating.

Like what u in one of your earlier posts, receiving the right parental support and values system become very important in calibrating everyone's expectations.

You see some of these kids not coping well even at secondary school level because they can't accept the fact that they are not #1, having been accustomed to being given all kinds of opportunities bec they were top dog in their primary school. Add on puberty and teenage angst and you have students who 1) give up on studying bec they can't be #1 so why try; or 2) slip into depression - self-mutilation etc. Of course this happens only to some kids. Which is why parental support and guidance is very important. Doing well academically is not the only be all and end all.

[buds]

limlim:

btw, as I parent, I would feel proud and maybe brag about it only if my kids achievements are obtained w/o tuition. If it is paid for (in a way).. what is there to be proud of.. (for those parents who brag when their kids did it with $$$$$ tuition/enrichment lessons).. just my personal opinion..

limlim:

no matter how my SO nag and nag..

I just refused to let my kids go for tuition..

no matter how limlim's SO nag and nag..

he just refuse to let his kids go for tuition..

so when they do well, he can finally brag and brag..

[Joule]

lol.


this reminds me of this website

http://highexpectationsasianfather.tumblr.com/

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lztqpyVk2j1qakgigo1_500.jpg\">

[buds]

Nice, Joule!


:rotflmao:

[schweppes]

jtoh:

This is very real. It still happens with some students at secondary school. Anything less than 90 is not acceptable. (<95 for some kids).


Often times it's a demand from the parent instilled from primary school that's now ingrained in the child that anything less than perfect is not acceptable. :faint:

This reminds me of this P2 girl whom I used to tutor, just after A levels.

The P2 wanted to take part in some poetry competition at sch and I had helped her. She came in 3rd. Both of us were delighted at her achievements. Her mom was not. Kept saying that I did not do enough for her daughter to come in 1st. :shock:

The second occasion was more :yikes: I coached her EL and Maths. Can't recall the actual marks but both scored somewhere between 92 - 95 thereabouts. Her mom wielded the cane... and started to chase her daughter round the house to cane her. Mom expected 100%.

Needless to say, I was horrified :yikes: Thot she was coming after me with the cane next. :siam: :scared: Tendered my resignation shortly after. Too stressful. P2 girl cried buckets. Me too as I really liked the little girl. Sweetest thing ever. :gloomy: