Growing old
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BeContented:
In SG, many families now have only 1-2 kids. Chances of not finding an only child/son looks slim ........Augmum:
[quote=\"prancingpony\"]I asked my one and only 15 year old child/son whether he will take care of and live with me if I am alone. He says see how and what his wife says!!!! My dh says he's too young and i should not be bothered by the answer!
This is an interesting discussion....
I ever said to my also One and Only gal, who is 14 now....
\"Next time, when u get married, dad and me will be very lonely.... noone to take care of us.\"
She immed replied, \" i will first tell my future boyfriend or hub to be
that he must stay together with my parents after married,
and for this, i think he could not be an Only child of his family.\"
Happy to hear that but i told her....then she must slowly find one lorr.....
[/quote]Yalor.....i told her that too....
Anyway, she is still young now...
who knows by that time when she has a bf, places of importance in her heart may switch... haha
But am glad and contented that she has such thoughts now....没有白疼....
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Imami:
My husband listens to reason rather than take sides. He knows I'm a straight forward person and cannot keep things in my heart so his only condition to me, when I have to speak my piece to his mum, is this: Criticise the act and not the person.jedamum:
My husband does not put me nor his mum first in the presence of dispute. He puts himself first and got both of us to sort it out ourselves if we love him enough to settle on middle ground. With that, he exercises both filial piety n his responsibility as husband as he decides-sides on a case by case scenerio, as he knows any decision made will likely have 1 side happy n one side sore. So we ie his mum n me, takes turns feeling sore lor depending on his decision.
Smart, very smart. JedaDad very smart. I have yet to meet someone who does it this way. Most husbands just stay miserably sandwiched between the two impt women. Until I read jedamum's post, I never thought there is another way out. But I shall not teach my hubby! :evil: -
prancingpony:
I asked my one and only 15 year old child/son whether he will take care of and live with me if I am alone. He says see how and what his wife says!!!! My dh says he's too young and i should not be bothered by the answer!
Sorry if I sound offensive but I think this is emotional blackmail.
Taking care of you does not mean he has to live with you, right? -
Han Seo:
My husband listens to reason rather than take sides. He knows I'm a straight forward person and cannot keep things in my heart so his only condition to me, when I have to speak my piece to his mum, is this: Criticise the act and not the person.[/quote]Now that you gals have shared I am not aloneImami:
[quote=\"jedamum\"]My husband does not put me nor his mum first in the presence of dispute. He puts himself first and got both of us to sort it out ourselves if we love him enough to settle on middle ground. With that, he exercises both filial piety n his responsibility as husband as he decides-sides on a case by case scenerio, as he knows any decision made will likely have 1 side happy n one side sore. So we ie his mum n me, takes turns feeling sore lor depending on his decision.
Smart, very smart. JedaDad very smart. I have yet to meet someone who does it this way. Most husbands just stay miserably sandwiched between the two impt women. Until I read jedamum's post, I never thought there is another way out. But I shall not teach my hubby! :evil:
alway feel sore hubby side his Mum,
Hubby say Mum only one
Wifey can find a lot ............ :mad: :rotflmao: -
Imami:
Smart or bo chapjedamum:
My husband does not put me nor his mum first in the presence of dispute. He puts himself first and got both of us to sort it out ourselves if we love him enough to settle on middle ground. With that, he exercises both filial piety n his responsibility as husband as he decides-sides on a case by case scenerio, as he knows any decision made will likely have 1 side happy n one side sore. So we ie his mum n me, takes turns feeling sore lor depending on his decision.
Smart, very smart. JedaDad very smart. I have yet to meet someone who does it this way. Most husbands just stay miserably sandwiched between the two impt women. Until I read jedamum's post, I never thought there is another way out. But I shall not teach my hubby! :evil: ?
Anyway, I once heard something like: Our kids are our mirror image. They follow what we do.
Also, when our children get married, they will and should have their own family focus. As parents if we \"force\" ourselves into their world, it is not only unfair for our kids but also detrimental to their life development. It is hard to accept emotionally, as I also love my kids very much. But this is fact of life... Let's 顺其自然。 -
Ya you are right…When our parents grow old…Then it’s our responsibility to Take care of them…There are many responsibility towards them which should be fulfilled by us…So be a responsible child and make them feel proud…
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recently, the same old question of who will you save, your mum or wife when both fall into the water was raised again in the papers.
My son's reply were:
1. if there is some objects around him, he will throw into the water for both l to grab
2. he will then save the one nearest to him and if possible, proceed to save the 2nd one.
So I suggested to him that his future wife must be a very good swimmer first. :evil: :evil: :evil:
Not quite the 'desired' reply as I would expect (I will save my mum first bec she can't swim) :slapshead: but my husband said that it was a sensible reply. -
According to me it’s difficult question to reply…Because for us the lives of both is equally important…So i wish that i would never experience this kind of situation ever…
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Han Seo:
prancingpony:
I asked my one and only 15 year old child/son whether he will take care of and live with me if I am alone. He says see how and what his wife says!!!! My dh says he's too young and i should not be bothered by the answer!
Sorry if I sound offensive but I think this is emotional blackmail.
Taking care of you does not mean he has to live with you, right?
Haha! It does sound like emotional blackmail, doesn't it? My dh thinks so too. And yes, i would have liked him to live with me. Shameful isn't it? But after reading all the other posts i am encouraged to be brave! Thank you everyone! Now i think i would rather be in my own place and have the freedom to invite my friends over than have my future dil making a face! But of course, i hope for a kind daughter-in-law lah. Too much to ask if we live in the same block?? -
prancingpony:
Too much to ask if we live in the same block??
not if they need u to babysit/childcare/student care their kids!
i have a family and their parents staying at opposite ends of the corridor.
the kid goes to the grandparents house after school and walks back home past our unit when his parents knocks off.
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