Club SAHM
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Tks!
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I want to COMPLAIN!!!
I’ve been a sahm for the last two years, and I juggle housework with tutoring the kids. I have no helper. I have three boys, who are darlings, but they run around, scream, get into trouble and generally behave like… normal BOYS. The youngest is 2, so he needs a lot of attention and surveillance. Otherwise, he is liable to get into a lot of mischief.
My husband thinks my job is EASY. He thinks I spend my time going shopping (yeah, I go to Cold Storage to buy cheese with the baby glued to my hip. So glam) and watching DVDs (I do this ‘after work’, k, when the kids are all asleep). Sometimes, on Saturdays, when I ask him to help one child with schoolwork, he will say, ‘Maybe I should be a SAH DAD.’ I fumed and I made nasty comments about the ingratitude of SOME PEOPLE, but deep down, I wondered if he was right and that he would do a better job than I was doing. Some background: dealing with DS1 is no piece of cake. Homework time inevitably erupts into a yelling match where I go into berserker mode. Not my finest moment, I’ll admit.
Then, today, Baby was sick and couldn’t go to church, so Hubby volunteered to stay at home to look after him. I did appreciate it, and I reminded him to ‘please try and hang the clothes’.
When I returned home with the other two, I found:
1) toys all over the floor
2) dishes from breakfast not washed
3) table not wiped
4) clothes not hung
My first response was, ‘WAH LAU’. So that was his definition of being a SAHD. I’m gonna tell him, if he ever uses that line on me again, that we can’t AFFORD to have him stay at home, cos that means that we would have to employ a full-time maid AND invite him mother to help us babysit while he deals with ONE child at a time. Pooi!!! Men! Ok, SOME men! Ok, ok, it’s just MY HUSBAND!!
I will NEVER let him make me feel bad about my imperfect job as a sahm ever again!!! -
hi Hokkiengirl, hope you felt a little better after letting off steam here. Being a SAHM is not easy at all, the sacrifices we made for our family, no social life, no personal income etc etc...I understand perfectly as I'm also a SAHM.
Maybe you can consider getting a FT maid or part-time cleaning help to reduce your load and free up your time for yourself and your hubby as well?
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Angelight:
Hi, Angelight!hi Hokkiengirl, hope you felt a little better after letting off steam here. Being a SAHM is not easy at all, the sacrifices we made for our family, no social life, no personal income etc etc...I understand perfectly as I'm also a SAHM.
Maybe you can consider getting a FT maid or part-time cleaning help to reduce your load and free up your time for yourself and your hubby as well?
Thanks! Ha ha yup, I did feel better after venting. Maybe it's a woman thing. We just need to let it out to regain equilibrium. Thanks for your suggestion!
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Hi Hokkiengirl!
I totally fel your frustrations! I have 3 boys too and we are not in Singapore, i.e., no help either. I didn’t have a maid in Singapore but at least I can call on the grandparents for backup so I can go do my own thing. Now, I do EVERYTHING.
Hubby tries his best and doesn’t make comments that it’s easy. When he gets home on weekdays, he will mind the kids while I get dinner ready, and clean up after dinner BUT over the weekends, he’s always the one who gets to nap! I’ll be busy vacuuming, mopping, washing or whatever, then I come to the living room and find him asleep on the sofa! I know he’s tired from the week, and I know I should have arrowed him chores, but I wish he could take the initiative to ask, "what can I do around here." and just do it.
Then today, as I was preparing to vacuum the floor, he tells me to sit and relax and watch Wimbledon with him! I said, if I go on leave, and I know I have a tonne of work that I will have to do when I get back in the office, I won’t be able to relax. But if I know someone will cover for me, I can relax. He got the message, but still he didn’t offer to do the chores!!!
Just some whingeing. At least he knows how tough it is at home. Just need him to take that extra step! -
hi hokkiengirl!
men like that la.don’t take his words to ur heart.we know how hard it is.they just make comments only.when my dh starting anything i tell him to off the topic that i doesn’t like.sometimes he reminded me to teach my son,but he can’t teach.yesterday i told him just make sure my son get his work done.he didn’t bother to check then why he torture me like why you haven’t start to teach? -
Cannot be subtle. If I caught hubby reading newspapers or playing games with his galaxy tab or iphone, I will flash him my :evil: grin and comment 'very free hor, go rinse up the clothes I soaked, mop floor, teach kids Maths'.
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Thanks, thanks, ladies! I feel a whole lot better now!!! I know my husband is like that cos he had an MCP dad and a mum who did everything for the family. It’s a condition which seems pretty prevalent with the current generation of Singaporean adult males. Gosh, I hope our sons (and daughters) don’t end up like that. Note to self: must get the young ones to mop the floor and chip in with housework, etc!
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Angelight:
Husbands always think that job of SAHMs are easy. All the nitty gritty things to do is irritating. Like 'stringing' the bolster case, cleaning the fans, sewing the loose buttons, cleaning the carpet etc. Every morn after they leave for school/work, I have to tidy up the house. Sian :stupid:hi Hokkiengirl, hope you felt a little better after letting off steam here. Being a SAHM is not easy at all, the sacrifices we made for our family, no social life, no personal income etc etc...I understand perfectly as I'm also a SAHM.
Maybe you can consider getting a FT maid or part-time cleaning help to reduce your load and free up your time for yourself and your hubby as well?
That idiotic fella can play deaf when kids fight :mad: and I had to ask him if he heard anything. Then what he preaches and does are 'amazing'. He told the kids NO TV. Yet, he switches it on all the time or else plays with iPad or iPhone when he has to coach kids in their Math. When he sits beside them at table, he listens to music :rant:
Weekends now are dedicated to son's tuition...when it is time for son to rest, he will suggest going to Bugis Junction or Vivo City etc etc. I have no life myself since beginning of this year. If I can stay at home to accompany kids, why can't he? -
What some guys fail to realise that while they can let off steam after work @ home, SAHM can’t cos our home is our "office" ! We are always on 24/7.
I have 4 "schedules" concurrently running everyday : my dd, DH , housework and my own (need to have some "ME" / downtime). Sometimes have to multi-task To juggle all.
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