Asia spending billions on tutors: study
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3Boys:
points noted with appreciation.limlim,
what you lack perspective on is that every single one of those things you suggest, comes with some impact on resources or people, or fairness even. You only see the upside, so you say, \"What's the harm in trying?\" There are issues attached to these measures. Teachers are people too, if they want to make a bit of a better living, where's the harm in that, if they keep up their school performance? A blanket ban (just in case), is hurtful to a lot of people, and who knows, may drive them out of the service. Please consider the consequences of actions before merrily going around prescribing them. -
[quote]Is that not the root of the problem, instead of hammering on MOE? WHY must they at the best of their academic abilities? Its the kiasu attitude translating into anger against MOE when unreasonable demands are not met, and meanwhile I am painted as some unsympathetic oaf who 'has not experienced the pain' of other parents. [/quote]
Directing us back to look at the root problem is like asking humans to solve their inherent basic humanly desires with regards to food, clothing, shelter, money, protecting their offspring. For someone who holds a sanguine view, and someone so accepting that life is unfair, that not everyone can score well, why is it difficult to accept basic human desires, including wanting the best for their children? Since modern civilization existed, has it not been the mission of governments to put in order a framework that well supports these human needs and desires?
[quote]I don't experience the pain because I choose not to experience the pain, not because my kids don't do the same exams or attend the same schools or face the same issues. [/quote]There are others like you who are choosing not to experience the pain, they ran away from it, but it came back to haunt them, when the kids hit upper Pri, and the kids blamed the parents for not making better plans for them with regards to tuition and the such, because their other friends who do it are coping better.
[quote]I am utterly convinced, that if they are truly talented, it matters not ONE whit whether or not they are in the top class or middle class or bottom class, when they get up into the higher education levels, they will come through, and even more so in the workplace. [/quote]I realize in most instances, it's easier said than done. It matters not because it happens to other children. When it really happens to our own, we typically react rather differently. Take one very innocent thread posted on this forum about Saving Gaia. Innocent question, honest replies. Many who posted did not know the children performing personally, so they spoke their mind. Didn't seem a problem. Someone who knew the precious kids felt extremely upset because some comments were less kind. Trickled off the backs of those that didn't know them, pierced the hearts of those that did. Only human.
[quote] I have seen it enough in the I've studied with, people who work for me, people whom I work for, people I work with, that there is little correlation between academic performance in schools and performance in the workplace. If they have no talent, no amount of temporary hot-housed academic success will compensate long term for a lack of ability. [/quote]That is provided they even get a chance to get through the door for the interview. The sequence is (1) produce the necessary or minimal paper qualifications (2) get called for interview (3) get selected. If the kid doesn't even have (1), will he get to stage (2) and (3). Sure, if his family is well connected, but no, if his family is in the lower income strata. Sure it doesnt guarantee performance at the work place, but it opens doors for those who have it.
[quote] My children will find their own level, I have no interest in squeezing every ounce of optimal performance from them. Much rather work on things like integrity, work ethic, compassion. Those will be the differentiating traits for success. [/quote]Optimal performance is not something that we can squeeze out, but it is parental duty that the stage is set for it to happen if the kid rises to the occassion at the right opportunity. May I also add that parents are having a hard time working on another important trait for success - esteem, for it is severely lacking in the children relegated to the last classes.
[quote] I am therefore sanguine. And I really wish other parents would be just as sanguine. I wish it because I would like other parents to feel unburdened, bent over double as it is by the weight of the bogeyman, which frankly maybe doesn't even exist. Free yourself of the angst and fear and anxiety and anger. And the tuition issue will magically evaporate. But there is no chance of convincing anyone, is there? [/quote]Thank you for your noble intentions, but not everyone thinks that being sanguine will rid them of the angst, fear and anxiety down the road. It is deferring it to a stage where things may be too late for the child to react.
[/quote]In the meantime, who speaks up for the poor teachers and MOE staff, many who are dedicated and busting a gut?[/quote]
I think it is in the interest of the poor teachers who are beholden to their direct hirers that we are trying to voice out to MOE what the teachers themselves are not able to. Career suicide right? Indeed, they are dedicated and literally busting their guts (many do have gastric problems), and the only solution some of them have is to jump ship to tuition centres for the hope of a more decent life and even more attractive pay. -
3Boys:
Eh..how come I write NOT necessarily academics, you write academics.. , you borrow my quote again ah?
Is that not the root of the problem, instead of hammering on MOE? WHY must they at the best of their academic abilities? Its the kiasu attitude translating into anger against MOE when unreasonable demands are not met, and meanwhile I am painted as some unsympathetic oaf who 'has not experienced the pain' of other parents. I don't experience the pain because I choose not to experience the pain, not because my kids don't do the same exams or attend the same schools or face the same issues. I am utterly convinced, that if they are truly talented, it matters not ONE whit whether or not they are in the top class or middle class or bottom class, when they get up into the higher education levels, they will come through, and even more so in the workplace. I have seen it enough in the I've studied with, people who work for me, people whom I work for, people I work with, that there is little correlation between academic performance in schools and performance in the workplace. If they have no talent, no amount of temporary hot-housed academic success will compensate long term for a lack of ability. My children will find their own level, I have no interest in squeezing every ounce of optimal performance from them. Much rather work on things like integrity, work ethic, compassion. Those will be the differentiating traits for success. I am therefore sanguine. And I really wish other parents would be just as sanguine. I wish it because I would like other parents to feel unburdened, bent over double as it is by the weight of the bogeyman, which frankly maybe doesn't even exist. Free yourself of the angst and fear and anxiety and anger. And the tuition issue will magically evaporate. But there is no chance of convincing anyone, is there?ksi:
To be candid, every parent(with the exception of you) will attempt to help their children to execute to the best of their abilities but not necessarily academics.
In the meantime, who speaks up for the poor teachers and MOE staff, many who are dedicated and busting a gut?
Your intention to share with kiasu parents to put their heads squarely on their shoulders is a noble one based on your own experience. We have world peace if everyone can subscribe to the same ideology. The fact is people are diverse. Just like we cannot solve world hunger, it is beyond us to lessen the hunger kiasu parents have to make their children successful at all cost. It is not within our span of control, actually not even MOE but they at least have a chance to steer direction compared to an ant's view.
In any case, until now I am still not sure if it is totally parents' contribution only so why are they conclusively the root? Children are really failing in schools and frankly I also don't know why because my child is not in that category but the mass failures are real in my school, at least at P5 so you know it really affects some of the children for DSA, especially those who want to do with sports, results too poor will be affected. But they are indeed talented in sports! :sad: I have parents telling me their kids fail and the average score of cohort is a failing one for some years. The cohort is not small, should they just tell the school the exam is unrealistic or do something about their children? I think most just took the warning from the school and seek their own solutions, paying to buy HOPE. I can tell you I am sanguine like you and I believe there is no panic in me until now because my child has never failed before. I am sure yours are the same. And this is only what I know of my school, others may be different so I am not cutting across the board and called my school or all schools the root of the problem. No. I continue to trust my school to know what they are doing.
So maybe in line with your thinking on focusing on integrity..etc...which I strongly agree on character building, perhaps parents should focus on teaching the kids to accept that failing in a subject repeatedly is fine, you are not judged by your results when you apply for your first job, only your qualities count. Then everyone becomes sanguine since failing results definitely cannot make them sanguine, can it?
3Boys, seriously your ideas are not wrong to address kiasu parents but the world does not work the way you want it to.
There are balanced posts here singing praises of MOE and teachers, just zoom in on them if you find those others depressing. There are also teachers and tutors sharing the positives.
:celebrate: to sanguine and positive thinking! -
At every PTM we attended, teachers will inform us of son’s progress, his results of exam done and finally, indirectly how to improve. Like what ksi mentioned, we will take the warning from school and pay to buy hope.
My son had never failed in his years since P1…but he failed at P5, and if I deny him tuition (hubby and I lost touch), what would that make me?
A friend of mine is a tutor…she had urgent matters to attend today and as such didn’t conduct classes. A parent called her if she could return home to give her daughter extra…her daughter doesn’t have class today, besides this girl is scoring 90+ for English.
There are varying degrees of kiasu. True, some give kids tuition to maintain position (to stay in top class). Sadly, academic is very much the real world here and other parts of Asia. We are buying hope, just like Revlon sells hope. -
ksi:
:hi5:
to sanguine and positive thinking!
:idea: maybe we need to go for tuition on how to do that :evil:
:siam: 
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schweppes:
Erm...should we be attending Adam Khoo ?
:hi5:ksi:
to sanguine and positive thinking!
:idea: maybe we need to go for tuition on how to do that :evil: :siam: -
janet_lee88:
Janet, if I have not wished you before...At every PTM we attended, teachers will inform us of son's progress, his results of exam done and finally, indirectly how to improve. Like what ksi mentioned, we will take the warning from school and pay to buy hope.
My son had never failed in his years since P1...but he failed at P5, and if I deny him tuition (hubby and I lost touch), what would that make me?
A friend of mine is a tutor...she had urgent matters to attend today and as such didn't conduct classes. A parent called her if she could return home to give her daughter extra...her daughter doesn't have class today, besides this girl is scoring 90+ for English.
There are varying degrees of kiasu. True, some give kids tuition to maintain position (to stay in top class). Sadly, academic is very much the real world here and other parts of Asia. We are buying hope, just like Revlon sells hope.
ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR DS' prelims and PSLE!!!
Shower you sanguine and positive thinking, with compliments from 3Boys! :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: -
schweppes:
:hi5:ksi:
to sanguine and positive thinking!
:idea: maybe we need to go for tuition on how to do that :evil: :siam:
:hi5:
You want to conduct for us or not and charge reasonably ok? :please:
Janet, Adam Khoo too expensive for us already....:moneyflies: :moneyflies: :moneyflies:
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ksi:
:hi5:schweppes:
[quote=\"ksi\"]
to sanguine and positive thinking!
:idea: maybe we need to go for tuition on how to do that :evil: :siam:
:hi5: You want to conduct for us or not and charge reasonably ok? :please: [/quote] :rotflmao: no charge lah
*ahem* [clears throat]
Class, pay attention now.....
Be good
Be nice
Play fair
Grumble less
Have fun
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limlim:
You are welcome, limlim
Sure. I appreciate your patient and detailed reasoning.. Thanks.ksi:
Hope you can mull over my answers for a while. 
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