Asia spending billions on tutors: study

[janet88]

BeContented:

janet_lee88:

For older one taking PSLE this year, I do need to push a little more. Hubby & I hardly pushed him when he was in P1...that's why we didn't get him tutors.

Actually my kids have not encountered much setbacks, so I do wonder how will their Sec school be like....I'm quite sure they will not top their cohort anymore, just how far will they drop. Can they bounce back, can they handle, will they lose motivation etc....when the time come, I will know. :nailbite: What I try to inculcate is to try their best, no regrets, persevere etc.....hope it sticks in their brain.
Fail also worry, dun fail also worry.....

Spelling....I only monitor in P1&P2. What I do emphasize is.....do not 死背，learn the words, understand what it means, know how to apply. Dun just remember the strokes (for chinese). That's the whole purpose....not the score.
Do badly, more corrections lah == less time to play :rotflmao:

Just another 10+ weeks to PSLE , 加油 :rahrah:
PS : Actually I also starting to feel a little worried......

Son has not experienced setbacks until last year...he was 3rd in class in P2 and that motivated him a little. This year, gotta push him because it's last year in primary school. Work very hard, do your best and most importantly do not have regrets...do not say 'if only I had...\"

Spelling...will only monitor up till P3 for daughter...understand the 词语 tested. Seeing my son so stressed, I want to take it easy for daughter...but she has tests every 9 weeks, so important thing is to be consistent in revision. Actually consistency is very important...not last min which is sure to backfire.

With PSLE just ROUND the corner, I am not pulling the strings too tight. Like today, we are going for a nice lunch to relax. Hopefully this will help lah...加油 all the time also will go nuts. Like yesterday, I had a panic attack suddenly.

[BeContented]

:offtopic:

Janet,
Balance is the word.
I tend to just tell DS to study on his own & go about doing my chores.
My friend spends a lot of her non-working hours seated at table studying with her kids.

That day, we asked son to describe his family (just in case for DSA interview)....
'My mother is a housewife. She does household chores'. DH prompted him for more....he went 'she cooks, cleans the house, chauffeur us to lessons.'. DH turned around and looked at me 'lovingly/luringly' ..... is that what you do at home? Not teaching or revising with them..... :nailbite:

For my friend, she was contemplating taking no-pay leave for her kid PSLE 2013. Her kids went ' NOOOoooooooo. We will have no more life. It will be torturing us!!!!'
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[oxyleo]

[/quote] On tuition......different strokes for different people, all of us have our own different reason.....not necessarily due to school. [/quote]


In that same token, also not necessarily because parents are just too kiasu, just too unrealistic, or kids are just too dumb. No one should judge you for the decisions you make for your child, because only you should know best, right? Likewise neither should we on how others decide for their children, unless we think we know better than them right?
[quote] Just another 10+ weeks to PSLE , 加油 :rahrah:
PS : Actually I also starting to feel a little worried...... [/quote] Janet and BeContented, I wish your kids the very best for the upcoming PSLE.

[concern2]

3Boys:

.. I don't experience the pain because I choose not to experience the pain, not because my kids don't do the same exams or attend the same schools or face the same issues. I am utterly convinced, that if they are truly talented, it matters not ONE whit whether or not they are in the top class or middle class or bottom class, when they get up into the higher education levels, they will come through, and even more so in the workplace. I have seen it enough in the I've studied with, people who work for me, people whom I work for, people I work with, that there is little correlation between academic performance in schools and performance in the workplace. If they have no talent, no amount of temporary hot-housed academic success will compensate long term for a lack of ability. My children will find their own level, I have no interest in squeezing every ounce of optimal performance from them. Much rather work on things like integrity, work ethic, compassion. Those will be the differentiating traits for success. I am therefore sanguine...

Thanks, 3Boys, for being on the other side of the balancing scale.

[oxyleo]

[quote]

Hi Janet,
guess this whole parenting/education is a tricky thing. No one is perfect, just go along the flow & try to do what's best for the child. A little push, a little hardship, a little setbacks ..... builds resilience. Actually my kids have not encountered much setbacks, so I do wonder how will their Sec school be like....I'm quite sure they will not top their cohort anymore, just how far will they drop. Can they bounce back, can they handle, will they lose motivation etc....when the time come, I will know. :nailbite: What I try to inculcate is to try their best, no regrets, persevere etc.....hope it sticks in their brain.
Fail also worry, dun fail also worry..... [/quote]It will indeed be a great blessing if your kids and mine never ever have to encounter setbacks, unless we secretly wish for it just so they build on their resilience, which is so important isn't it, in one's life?. Tricky, as you said.

God forbid if it were to happen down the road, as it already has for some other parents' children here, at least you know where to seek empathy and comfort, from within this forum. Those who have gone down the path before us will understand.

[Lilac66]

3Boys:

Fear of failing?


97% of students pass PSLE.

Sleep well, parents

oxyleo:

Stellar results supported by the following parts of school, parent, tuition, child's diligence and child's intelligence. In what proportion per part we don't know. When arranged in ascending order, it will also differ between experiences.

I concur!

oxyleo:

For the most part, it's a clear conscience and physical exhaustion that makes one sleep extremely well.

:rotflmao:

[3Boys]

oxyleo:

In that same token, also not necessarily because parents are just too kiasu, just too unrealistic, or kids are just too dumb. No one should judge you for the decisions you make for your child, because only you should know best, right? Likewise neither should we on how others decide for their children, unless we think we know better than them right?

Making decisions for one's own child, its the parents' prerogative (with caveats, i.e. the cancer child mum traipsing off to Arizona for instance)

Laying the blame on someone else (MOE) for a child's performance........

[concern2]

oxyleo:

For the most part, it's a clear conscience and physical exhaustion that makes one sleep extremely well.

:rotflmao: Oxyleo, that's funny.

Funny though it might be,
That, I cannot be.
For when I wake up in the night,
And watch them sleeping tight,
Feeling their cheeks on mine,
I'll ask myself if I have done right.
I do this every night.

[verykiasu2010]

3Boys:

Fear of failing?


97% of students pass PSLE.

Sleep well, parents

not good enuf. should be 100% pass, probably teachers not teaching again ... :evil: :evil:

[Busymom]

Busymom:

If the example cited by you is a true happening, yes, I agree that there is a potential conflict of interest. On the other hand, even if this teacher doesn't teach her students in an external tuition centre, as long as she is the exam paper setter, what is stopping her from giving extra hints to her own class students so that a majority of them will perform well vis-a-vis another class taught by another teacher (there must be KPI for teachers' performance at the end of the day like how many good passes in a class, no?)? So the way to solve this conflict of interest issue should not be that a teacher cannot moonlight as a tuition teacher. Rather, she should not be teaching her own students outside of school and getting paid for it. Agree?

ksi:

Unfortunately still have to disagree on this one but it is ok if you cannot agree since we usually agree on most things. To address the highlighted parts first, if anyone lodges a complaint, the teacher will definitely get into trouble in the school. This should deter him/her from malpractice. This is basic ethics for teachers within the school. The same ethics applied outside the school would be \"conflict of interest\". This is only one area, there could be more and Sun_2010 has mentioned about materials designed which should rightfully belong to the school. Also, how is MOE or school going to track if a teacher is teaching their own students or not? It is again an issue of span of control. In any case, this moonlight issue in the commercial world is clearly spelt out in the hiring contract for most large companies with protection over intellectual property rights and their customer base.

Yes, we usually agree on most things. And as friends, it does not mean we can’t have different opinions about things. We are more matured than that, aren’t we? :hugs:

Just want to clarify, you said if anyone lodges a complaint, the teacher will definitely get into trouble. If this is true in a school setting, wouldn’t it also apply for hints given in the tuition centre classroom? I mean the teacher will get into trouble too if anyone complains that she has given extra hints to her tuition students. No?

To me, the latter is a more serious breach of ethics (giving hints to a selected few who pays private tuition money) than giving hints to the entire class in school. It borderlines corruption… no?

I don’t understand why outside school is called “conflict of interest” while inside school is a breach of basic ethics. Aren’t both the same as in a breach of ethics?

Just as an example, I have a code of ethics to observe at work. It applies to me whether I am in the office during office hours, or outside of it as long as I am still working in the industry. So my earlier point is that, if this is forbidden in school, the teacher should also know that it is forbidden outside of school. If she can breach this while in the tuition centre, she will similarly breach it while in school.

How is MOE or school going to track if teacher is teaching own students – Not easy, I agree. But if MOE thinks this is bad and stipulates that this is forbidden of the school teachers (and throw in an annual declaration if you like), would school teachers still do it? That is my question. As a school teacher, there should be no lack of students to pick from other schools.

I think when we talk about material designed by school, the scope can be extremely wide. Is it daily worksheets, past-years questions, a booklet of Chinese idioms, Math heuristics, etc.? I agree that daily worksheets or anything developed through combined effort by a group of teachers – should be frowned upon. But then again, I do not know what is the market practice since I am not a teacher and have never engaged a private tutor for my kids. Any tutors out there or parents who have engaged school teachers as tutors, what is your take on this?

However, if we are just talking about knowledge of the subject matter or materials developed by the teacher herself, it becomes a grey area to me. It goes both ways. Just as a teacher learns and gains experience from teaching in school, she also learns and gains experience from teaching privately. She could well have discovered a more efficient way of explaining a certain concept through teaching a private student and then apply it to her school students.

Maybe I am wrong, I tend not to think of schools as a commercial entity. So while I agree in commercial world, what is said by Sun2010 is true, there are more shades of grey in a school setting. Do the materials belong to MOE, or the school? Teachers do get transferred from school to school, right?

Another question: Why for doctors who have set up their own private practice, it is ok to remain as senor consultant or Head of some department in KKH or NUH?

ksi:

If a teacher is good enough, they can work with publishers or even MOE to write books.

A related question here, are school teachers currently allowed to write assessment books or resource books and earn from it?