How to get my 4years old son to be more focus

[Funz]

Ran1977:

My son is now 4yrs 7mths...same thing...so not focussed and distracted by everything when asked to do his homework worksheets...also gets very angry and impatient over the littlest things?

Also when asked to bathe, wear his clothes or eat, he will take forever....are all 5year old children like this???There is NO SENSE OF URGENCY in them!
Are all 5year old boys this angry and hot tempered???
How do I deal with this as I am a single FTWM and he is the only child??

Could he be picking up vibes from you?

[Funz]

名星妈妈:

My youngest sonny turning 4 this year. I have placed him in a full time child care centre.

The school will give homework like colouring and writing alphapets and numbers. We face a great challenge whenever sit him down infront of the papers. Immediately he gets restless and start fidgeting. He simply cannot finish his homework (1 chinese colouring and 1 English or Maths).

He can gave his pencil to my care-giver to ask her to finish off for him. Even matching pictures, his elder brother had to hold the ruler for him. Yesterday evening, my brother helped me. My son told me brother: \"You want to do it, do it.\" and gave his pencil to my brother.

Any suggestions?

lll faint

The homework is given by the childcare?
He is already in fullday childcare, which means he would have done the necessary work in the course of the day right? Why is there homework?

DS told me once when he was still in childcare, K1 I think. When I am at school, my job is to learn. When I am at home, my job is to play and relax.

[Snow Crystal]

3Boys:

Much too young my dear! Let him be the distracted, lazy, scattered child that he will be for his age. You'll miss it when it's gone!

Totally agree! Please let the 4yo kid play and slack now while he can... What's the hurry to make sure he focus and do homework! Did we do homework at 4 yo...?! The attention span of kids at that age is very very short. Start with him focusing for 5 min then increase to 10mins after a few weeks gradually ... But at 4 yo, please let him play and laugh becos once he grows older, you will miss that genuine laughter from the heart and you will seldom hear it too...

[mumzmummy]

i wonder if rewarding would help the kid to be more focus?

[kalim]

Just spend more and more time with your 4years old son.

[pumpkin_pie]

I have to disagree that 4yo should not be taught to focus. In fact, right from young, this skill should be taught. Since young, I started with letting my ds play with his toys for a good 10mins at least, or finish the task (be it a puzzle, maze, building something). If he plays something for a min, then change to something else, I will try to pull him back to completing his previous "task" first. I do not like him to be taking out so many toys in a short time, as I think this creates a very short concentration span.

Since he was 3yo, I started to let him sit down at his very own small "study" table and he would do simple games like mazes, matching, writing for 10mins, then slowly stretch to 40mins, now that he is 4.5yo. Of course, he will at times be distracted, but it is mummy’s job to gently pull them back into focus, without making them irritated. After a while, they will understand what is focusing all about.
I also have a daily task list on a small magnetic board. I put very simple tasks there like 1) snack, 2) reading a book to mummy, 3) worksheet games, 4) play time, 5) milk, 6) play games/puzzles , 7) dinner, bedtime stories. My ds does not attend fullday CC, so he has a lot of time at home with me. 40mins a day is a fraction of the rest of his other time he gets to play and have fun. So everyday (exclude weekends) after he completes each task, he gets to put a star magnet on the empty square. Ds is very motivated to ensure he gets all his stars. If he gets all the stars in that week, weekend, he gets to choose any snack he wants to eat.
So I find this has helped my ds to focus better in other things too, even at school. And definitely will be a great help when he goes P1 and starts having school homework. (his current sch does not give daily homework).

[pumpkin_pie]

to add on... I feel you need to explain to your child what is focusing.

I do that by telling him \"do you like it if mummy plays a game with you, but keeps doing other things like going toilet, going kitchen, going to wash clothes....?\" And if you do play a game with him, try that out yourself, so he can see how that feels when you are not focused when with him.
And I also tell him its good to know how to focus, as it helps you finish your task faster. Don;t you want to be the first? .... and all the other benefits. Kids all love to be no. 1.
Hope this helps...

[Imami]

3Boys:

My dears, what do you really expect from 4 year-olds? Focus? Sense of urgency? C'mon, give 'em a break!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: 3boys very stunned. He must be wondering what's wrong with these mummies!?

[Imami]

I agree with pumpkin-pie on the part that the ability to focus need to be taught and nurtured. For young children, it does not come naturally.

But I also agree/understand where 3boys and snow crystal are coming from. Every child is different and in my opinion/experience, "the time" will come. But first, you need to create the opportunity for it to happen. Having said that, if the child is not ready, no matter how much the parent do, it will not happen (because the time is not here yet).
I didn’t know better then (ok, still learning now too) and was wondering why my child couldn’t concentrate on one task for 10min. He was two then. spoke to the cc teacher to understand better (e.g. Was he the odd one out, how long other children of the same age is doing, what can I do to help etc). It turned out, my child was coding fine. He could sit there listened to story telling session and finish his puzzles etc. It was me and my unrealistic expectation.
Upon the realization that actually my child was doing fine and heeding the teachers’ suggestions, I starHTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified
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Connection: ktient). He is four btw. Now he can finish up 20-30 pc puzzles at one go or reading 2-3 readers (16 to 20 pages) on his own.

As for writing, he started to learn to write almost a yr ago (about 3.5 yr old). It was a steep uphill for him but we pressed on. Starting with one sheet per session. It was never against his will. I have this little corner equipped with worksheets/books/activity pads/crayons etc like a little school. Whenever he decides to "come to mummy school", we would do some home learning.

Now he is doing 20-30worksheets at one go - some math, some language related. He decides how many sheets he wants to do. When he says " I don’t want already, the school is closed for the day". Nothing by force. He happy, I happy.

[Imami]

Don't rush into getting the child to do it or handling it too high handedly. It may back fires. After all, the child is only four.


What we shd nurture is a life long interest in learning.

Playing puzzles (gradually progress to more pcs) is a good way to train focusing. Jenga or playing the balancing tree will also help.

I heard listening to audio books will help too. Donna how true but now we are trying out. Child can't read alot yet but loves \"complicated stories\" which are meant for older kids. So I bought audio books for him. To read the whole book for him is too much for me :faint: