称呼 / Addressing

[schellen]

tree nymph:

by the way, my small boy will become a biao-jiu next May, at the grand old age of 20 mths! :lol:

My DD1 has an aunt who is just 6 mths older than her. :roll: It's sashimi's cousin so that should be her biaogu? :?

[kiasimom]

Hi schellen,


seems like you come from a big family too :celebrate:

[schellen]

kiasimom:

Hi schellen,


seems like you come from a big family too :celebrate:

My family in S'pore is actually small but those who are in China...I've lost track or don't even know about since my parents don't tell me about them. I only knew I have a nephew who's about 10+ years younger than me when he came here to study English.

At least, for my side, my elders are older so that helps me to differentiate and remember. For sashimi's family, it's too confusing and waaaay too big. I guess our DD1 was born in the same \"age group\" as a few of her aunts and uncles and I see that as \"following the footsteps\" of his generation and the one before him since he told me that he has an uncle who's only a few years older than him.

[jedamum]

kiasimom:

Hi schellen,


seems like you come from a big family too :celebrate:

most of my husband's aunt and uncles are younger than him cos his grandma married early and the grandma's siblings married late. one of his 'aunt' recently gave birth and so the kid which is the same generation (and is considered my ds1's 'uncle') as my husband, is 7yrs younger than my ds1.

[kiasimom]

Interesting.


The youngest member in my paternal family is my tangdi.

He is of the same age as my DD

[autumnbronze]

I only realized the importance of addressing aft I had my DS and esp when he started learning how to talk. Character education ie values, manners, respect etc.. became an important issue to me. Because I want him to imbibe these, I made an effort to find out the correct name to address my DH's brothers, uncles etc...


Surprisingly, my ILs aren't too perturbed abt this issue. In fact, DH's youngest brother insisted my DS not to address him correctly as it was ... yes you guessed it ... 'old fashioned'.

I put my foot down and told my DH and MIL that as his mother, I get to choose/educate how my DS should address family/relatives :lol:

This matter is now closed. My DH's youngest brother has no choice but to respond to him being addressed in the correct and respectful manner.

[kiasimom]

Hi autumnbronze,


You are right.
You should maintain your own stand and abide by your own set of rules.

Call it old-fashioned, who cares.

As parents, it is only right for us to teach our children the correct values.

:celebrate: to you.

[jedamum]

kiasimom:

As parents, it is only right for us to teach our children the correct values.

:celebrate: to you.

yes..as parents, it is only right for us to teach our children the correct values.
but is 'addressing' appropriate or not, a form of value?
a well-mannered and polite kid who addresses his relatives incorrectly (eg call uncles and aunties only) compared to a brat who knows his 'addressing; who has more values?

after being married for 9 yrs and attended >10 yrs worth of CNY gatherings, i still cannot address my husband's relatives properly. i smile, greet hi/hello...but i sure have more values than those who greet appropriately, but gossip behind their backs, right?

[kiasimom]

Hmmmm… you don’t gossip, I do agree you have values.

I am not saying that those who don’t address their relatives in the proper forms have no values.

But I do appreciate when people addressed me in the correct form.

Gossiping is another issue. I personally don’t like gossipmongers too

However, I do like the kind of intimacy and unique recognition from the proper address

I think it is a matter of 价值观 and 家教.

[jedamum]

barney:

I think this is a good culture and tradition to keep. I came from a big family and we make sure all our kids address us in chinese with the proper 称呼 instead of just aunties and uncles and I'll insist that my girl address all her cousins with their names followed by jie jie or kor kor, since she's the youngest among the lot.


Actually I need to check with parents here if they know how should my grand nephew (my brother's grandson) address my gal? We have a discussion on this among ourselves but have no conclusion.

i call my dad's sis' son as biao ge....meaning your bro's kid call your gal as biao jie.
so if your bro's grandson call his mother's sis as ah yi, then is there such a thing as biao yi to differentiate the relationship???

edit : just read someone said it should be biao gu. what's the diff between biao gu and biao yi? or is there a former?

edit again : ie if the bro's grandson mum/dad is the dd of bro or ds of bro makes a difference in the cheng hu leh.