Parents, let's solve this problem for our kids
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himmel:
Some people are used to complaining n grumbling about no time n money. Know of a friend who has 2 fully paid property but still say money not enough... Always say no time, busy at work but keep chatting on the phone...
This is what I mean. Such people have blind spots. But even when you point out the blind spots for them and teach them how to handle such situations, they would still continue their ways and say \"I got no time\" or \" we don't earn much\".
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Imami:
Well, I used to complain to my loved onesBut concern2, you don't go around grumbling/complaining about it right? The way I look at your post, I don't see hints of repeated grumbling. My gripe with the \"I don't have time\" and \"we don't earn much\" is their constant complaints and grumbles about the constraints they have.
No time but tell us about her online games? No money but can go so many holidays? I need a lot more convincing that there is a genuine problem.
Everyone has constraints and struggles. Me too. I value the attitude behind the struggles more than aptitude.
, but that's a passing phase. Those times were not without tears and grouchiness. Constructive advice are most useful in such phases, and it is helping hands when you need most that keep one going too.
From your description, it doesn't sound like her situation is as bad as she make it out to be, hence the ability to continue to enjoy the little 'luxuries'
Yet, these days, with profuse use of the internet, there is higher tendency for people go 'hide away' ιιΏ from harsh realities of life, and it is unhealthy, as much as it is dangerous. -
Probably she need some rest after hectic workload? Grumbling better than some "extreme cases" like keep all inside till one day donβt know what happen?
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The gahmen should try to stop the brain-drain and also welcome citizens to come back home! Give a big invitation for our fellow-men to come back with their heads held high. Do not call them names. There could be many wanting to come back but held back by fear of discrimination rejection. I do not know what is the current stand now since I hardly come across any talks about this anymore after the debate in the 80s. I hope whatever hard-stand they adopt will be changed given the current disminishing population.
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DesertWind:
The gahmen should try to stop the brain-drain and also welcome citizens to come back home! Give a big invitation for our fellow-men to come back with their heads held high. Do not call them names. There could be many wanting to come back but held back by fear of discrimination rejection. I do not know what is the current stand now since I hardly come across any talks about this anymore after the debate in the 80s. I hope whatever hard-stand they adopt will be changed given the current disminishing population.
there is no discrimination
they don't come back because it is better over there, a matter of choice and life style
those who cmi overseas also find it hard to find work here - some due to having burnt bridges and no one wants to hire them at older age versus those who kept their jobs all these while in Singapore. Some don't come back due to face and pride issue
as far as gov't is concerned, don't think there is anything against them
those debates in 80s on quitters are mostly directed at bond-breakers or white horse. for the ordinary horses, they eat any grass wherever they feel like, without hindrance -
verykiasu2010:
Who? Where? Black horses included?
those debates in 80s on quitters are mostly directed at bond-breakers or white horse. for the ordinary horses, they eat any grass wherever they feel like, without hindrance
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DesertWind:
The gahmen should try to stop the brain-drain and also welcome citizens to come back home! Give a big invitation for our fellow-men to come back with their heads held high. Do not call them names. There could be many wanting to come back but held back by fear of discrimination rejection. I do not know what is the current stand now since I hardly come across any talks about this anymore after the debate in the 80s. I hope whatever hard-stand they adopt will be changed given the current disminishing population.
Was there really any known discrimination? From the govt? I know of common folks making snide remarks about people whom they know gave up their citizenship only to find that they may have to try to come back. I find myself guilty of that sometimes. But government discriminating, so far have not really heard of any. I have also personally encountered people who gave up their citizenship and trying to come back but are peeved that they are not given obvious priority over the next non-ex-singaporean PR applicant. The moment their application gets rejected, they say they are being discriminated because they gave up their citizenship before.
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When DH and I were seriously considering fertility treatment to try for #3, we were told that if we require financial assistance, we need to go to govt hospitals. My first thought was why? If you are going to provide financial assistance up to a certain amount, just provide that amount, leave the choice of which doctor or which hospital to the parents to be. I mean, I found a gynae whom I am comfortable with and I do not wish to consult anyone else. To put it bluntly, he/she will be looking up my most private parts and will be privy to the most physically intimate part of my relationship with DH so I say finding one whom you trust and are comfortable with is very important. Couples who are willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatment want a child/children. They should be encouraged, supported, not thrown more hurdles.
Make abortions less convenient. I donβt know what it is like right now. But I have, unfortunately, seen a couple of friends through some abortions when I was much younger. There isnβt much counselling done, no cool off period, no consultation about possible options. It is clinical. You want to abort? Ok, you are this far along, you are not a minor, sign this form. And watch this video.
Stop discriminating against single/unwed parents. Extend the same subsidies and financial assistance to them. If anything, they need all the help they can get to face the challenges of bringing up the kid on their own.
Make adoption more acceptable. Why do we have people promoting pet adoption but adoption of children seem like such a taboo subject. -
Funz:
:goodpost:When DH and I were seriously considering fertility treatment to try for #3, we were told that if we require financial assistance, we need to go to govt hospitals. My first thought was why? If you are going to provide financial assistance up to a certain amount, just provide that amount, leave the choice of which doctor or which hospital to the parents to be. I mean, I found a gynae whom I am comfortable with and I do not wish to consult anyone else. To put it bluntly, he/she will be looking up my most private parts and will be privy to the most physically intimate part of my relationship with DH so I say finding one whom you trust and are comfortable with is very important. Couples who are willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatment want a child/children. They should be encouraged, supported, not thrown more hurdles.
Make abortions less convenient. I don't know what it is like right now. But I have, unfortunately, seen a couple of friends through some abortions when I was much younger. There isn't much counselling done, no cool off period, no consultation about possible options. It is clinical. You want to abort? Ok, you are this far along, you are not a minor, sign this form. And watch this video.
Stop discriminating against single/unwed parents. Extend the same subsidies and financial assistance to them. If anything, they need all the help they can get to face the challenges of bringing up the kid on their own.
Make adoption more acceptable. Why do we have people promoting pet adoption but adoption of children seem like such a taboo subject. -
Funz:
Sure.. It is your choice.. a personal choice.. you are fully entitled to choose freely which hospital to go to.I mean, I found a gynae whom I am comfortable with and I do not wish to consult anyone else. To put it bluntly, he/she will be looking up my most private parts and will be privy to the most physically intimate part of my relationship with DH so I say finding one whom you trust and are comfortable with is very important. Couples who are willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatment want a child/children. They should be encouraged, supported, not thrown more hurdles.
It is also your choice whether to accept financial assistance.
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