Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?

[singsongcity]

Now my son still small. Don’t know next time good to cane or explain and lecture him next time. He is now already starting to get on my nerves.

[Mawar]

Different folks different strokes.


We don’t have canes at home. But I have smacked my kids when they were under 4. I tried not to use corporal punishment but it didn’t work. I resorted to smacking. Negative reinforcement. That’s after reminding and warning. I made sure it was quick and painful. After a few painful episodes, I didn’t need to do it anymore. The kids got the message. And they knew mummy meant business. No means no, not maybe.

I personally feel that it’s easier to start off being strict. It’s like setting boundaries and expectations. Clear and consistent house rules. Even young toddlers know when they cross the line.

[joyceharper]

keroppi:

We've no cane in the house so we don't cane.

But I feel that caning/smacking should stop before upper Pri.

quite agree.

[emerald]

I seldom caned my dd when she was younger because I would cry when I see another person crying.

But there were times when I lost control, I caned only using my left hand (I'm right-handed) hoping that it won't hurt so much. Then I would try very hard to hold back my tears.

I related this to dd who is in upper sec now.
I think she realized how much I love her.

[jesuslovesme]

I am torn between the school of no corporal punishment and the \"spare the rod, spoil the child\" saying. I have two boys, 4.5 and 2.5yrs, with the eldest being the most defiant. But I feel heartbroken after each canning episode (usually a stroke or two).

Sometimes I wonder if having to resort to canning makes me a bad mom

[Imami]

jesuslovesme:

I am torn between the school of no corporal punishment and the \"spare the rod, spoil the child\" saying. I have two boys, 4.5 and 2.5yrs, with the eldest being the most defiant. But I feel heartbroken after each canning episode (usually a stroke or two).

Sometimes I wonder if having to resort to canning makes me a bad mom

:yikes: :yikes: :yikes:

[concern2]

jesuslovesme:

I am torn between the school of no corporal punishment and the \"spare the rod, spoil the child\" saying. I have two boys, 4.5 and 2.5yrs, with the eldest being the most defiant. But I feel heartbroken after each canning episode (usually a stroke or two).

Sometimes I wonder if having to resort to canning makes me a bad mom

The Monkey King was so powerful that no one could beat him, so he went around abusing his powers. Finally, Kuan Yin Pu Sa had to put a 'jing gu zou' on him and let his Shi Fu, someone wiser, to tame him. Can you be the Shi Fu who could help your children?

Try saying \"Wo Ni To Fuo\" after you cane them, if you must, but looking at your nick....hm....maybe you can try some other chants to make yourself feel better...

[Imami]

concern2:

jesuslovesme:

I am torn between the school of no corporal punishment and the \"spare the rod, spoil the child\" saying. I have two boys, 4.5 and 2.5yrs, with the eldest being the most defiant. But I feel heartbroken after each canning episode (usually a stroke or two).

Sometimes I wonder if having to resort to canning makes me a bad mom

The Monkey King was so powerful that no one could beat him, so he went around abusing his powers. Finally, Kuan Yin Pu Sa had to put a 'jing gu zou' on him and let his Shi Fu, someone wiser, to tame him. Can you be the Shi Fu who could help your children?

Try saying \"Wo Ni To Fuo\" after you cane them, if you must, but looking at your nick....hm....maybe you can try some other chants to make yourself feel better...

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

You are so funny! The silence in office was broken by my :rotflmao:

The part on \"wo ni to fuo\" - :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[keroppi]

jesuslovesme:

I am torn between the school of no corporal punishment and the \"spare the rod, spoil the child\" saying. I have two boys, 4.5 and 2.5yrs, with the eldest being the most defiant. But I feel heartbroken after each canning episode (usually a stroke or two).

Sometimes I wonder if having to resort to canning makes me a bad mom

I feel that only you know your child best. It really depends on what you deem is the most effective disclipine for your children. If only caning works, then do it. However, if you have to resort to caning or spanking, make sure you do not lose control or apply excessive force - it is easy to cross the line from discipline to abuse.

I often feel that caning is better than spanking - caning inflicts only superficial injuries to the skin whereas spanking/hitting/slapping with the hand may cause internal injuries. JHMO.

[SBKS]

now i have a slight dilemma.


i use caning on my D1 and it work. she is afraid of Mr cAne. D2 is super stubborn. We sometimes wonder did all our stubborness went to her alone. Yday took the cane out and meted out the caning on D2. wahpiang. I admit i got go easy on her as I am calm at that point in time. Just want her to follow instructions but she stubbornly refused. Gave her 3 strokes and she cried and later still refused to do so.

So concluded that D2 is one that take the soft approach and not the hard one. And she does knows how to bargain. like born with it.

Dilemma is: Since D1 takes the hard approach right now, and D2 takes soft, how do I take D2 in hand infront of D1? D1 would have seen that its weird why Daddy cane/scold her but talk to mei mei softly?

I know about separating them and lecture them separately but there are times that when we are outside, we could not do that.

anyone has any advice?