Providing For Parents in Singapore: Can We Give Enough?

[LOLMum]

MMM:

For us, I would insist/ start to \"brainwash\" the kids that they must give us a allowance when they start working. Eg. x% of pay.


Hopefully we don't need it (if we are financially independently). If we don't need it, take it as a reserve for them. Maybe give it back to them in will????? or when they need it????

Besides pocket $, we have been educating them about paying for our holidays too. Err.... we told them not to Genting but we prefer to go to US/ Europe. Not just tour fare but also must include pocket and shopping money As we have 3 kids, we were joking that maybe each of them can be responsible for 1 item??? Oops given that we've 3. Hope it's not the case of \"everybody\" thought \"somebody\" will take care of us. But in the end \"nobody\" took up the responsibility.

Right now, we set example by providing for our parents. Eg. I pay for my parents' housing instalment (can be treated as investment for us), maint and also provide them with allowance. I would also have to pay for their holidays since I am the only child. My mum always tell dc since young that see... your mum is working hard to provide for us, etc.... In addition to that, we stay with pils. dh will ask one of the kids to pass the allowance to fil every month. So this probably make them think that providing for parents is the norm.

If it happens, it's a bonus but in the meantime, we are striving for financial independence. dh told ds we will not leave behind our existing house for him. We will sell off the properties and then tour the world.... so don't expect too much from us.

your dil might not be happy about this

[sleepy]

I told my kids 你们要养我. Been brainwashing them since they were preschoolers. And I continue to plant them that idea whenever opportunity presents itself. Need to reinforce.


How much we have in our bank account is irrelevant to them. Strictly our security blanket. I expect them to provide for us at old age. We will leave them our assets as estate.

My dad hasn't touched a single cent of his cpf retirement withdrawal. My siblings and I chip in to provide 100% of his living expenses. He said he can sleep much better at night this way

[Oppsgal]

sleepy:

I told my kids 你们要养我. Been brainwashing them since they were preschoolers. And I continue to plant them that idea whenever opportunity presents itself. Need to reinforce.


How much we have in our bank account is irrelevant to them. Strictly our security blanket. I expect them to provide for us at old age. We will leave them our assets as estate.

My dad hasn't touched a single cent of his cpf retirement withdrawal. My siblings and I provide his kopi money & living expenses. He said he can sleep much better at night this way

Husband thinks we should not depend on kids for retirement as they got own family and financial needs for starting own family.

For me, I ask my kid to buy me food when my kid works, ask my kid to buy own house next time. Right now, my kid happily saying ok.

[sleepy]

Oppsgal:

Husband thinks we should not depend on kids for retirement as they got own family and financial needs for starting own family.

Already started saving for our own retirement.

However, I don't want my kids to have the impression that they only need to take care of themselves when they're grown up since we old folks can afford to take care of ourselves. Therefore 'preaching ' 你们要养我 to them since young

[sleepy]

I believe it's important to cultivate the 'providing for parents' mindset from young.


I'm just imagining, young working adults nowsaday, if they have spare cash say a sum of $5K , would they choose to buy the lastest branded stuff to look good or would they proactively offer to bring their old folks for a tour?

If they have the impression that their folks can self substain, then the idea of treating them may not even pop up at all. For old folks, I'm sure they would be very touched if their children prioritize them over some LV bags or rolex watches.

Ditto for monthly living expenses. I'm sure it feels much better if your kids diligently deposit part of his salary to your account on his pay day than you drawing down on your retirement fund. It's the feelings that he thinks of you and wish to provide for you that warm your heart. Not because you really need that sum of money


Of course I'm not referring to people who live from hand to mouth. If they are living from hand to mouth, it's kind of scary to imagine what would happen to their aged parents then? There should be financial assistance for those old folks, seriously!

[LOLMum]

I like this system dh n his siblings are using.


Every month all siblings will deposit the same sum of $$ into a joint acc held by his eldest sis n mum. The sum has to be agreed n affordable by all.

This sum of money s used for medical n family dinners for mum’s birthday, mother’s day special occasions.

So no fight over who is or is not paying for meals or medical expenses etc.

So far this system has been working well for them for the past 20+ years.

The sis always keep a proper record of all incoming n outing going funds. Anyone is welcome to check.

[Oppsgal]

LOLMum:

I like this system dh n his siblings are using.


Every month all siblings will deposit the same sum of $$ into a joint acc held by his eldest sis n mum. The sum has to be agreed n affordable by all.

This sum of money s used for medical n family dinners for mum's birthday, mother's day special occasions.

So no fight over who is or is not paying for meals or medical expenses etc.

So far this system has been working well for them for the past 20+ years.

The sis always keep a proper record of all incoming n outing going funds. Anyone is welcome to check.

Good idea, if medical expenses not over of what is inside the account.

[LOLMum]

She has monthly checkup, so the sum is just a bit of + n - but at least she doesn't need to ask from the same child monthly to pay for it.


U know lah, sometimes we ourselves will also say \"huh, need money again?\" , so parents might feel uneasy, paiseh to ask. I know my handicapped is paiseh to ask for money to see dr sometimes.

[3Boys]

Looks like maybe I am just out of step. My DW and I still give money regularly to our respective parents, but I don’t see that I want to burden my kids with having to think about putting aside a regular sum for us at all. I think in the past, with larger families, it may have been more manageable to have those expectations, and this has probably carried over to the parents of today.


My (and my DW agrees) is that we discharge our responsibilities as parents and the kids don’t owe us a thing for it.

[Imami]

Oppsgal:

http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/providing-parents-singapore-enough-160000861.html


Do you expect children to give money to you when they grow up?

Lets just say I plan to be self sufficient in my golden years but if my child gives me some pocket money, i would be very happy. While there is exception, I believe generally one won't part with one's money if he/she doesn't care enough.