HOW TO MOTIVATE MY GIRL TO PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN HER STUDIES

[Chenonceau]

debbiehsl:

Hi Chen,


I would like to order too. Can you let me know how can i go about ordering it?


Thanks.
Deb

Many thanks Deb... I have received your order.

[debbiehsl]

Hi Chen,


Wonder if i can get assistance from your advise on certain issue privately about my boy if you dont mind calling my mobile.

Deb

[Chenonceau]

debbiehsl:

Hi Chen,


Wonder if i can get assistance from your advise on certain issue privately about my boy if you dont mind calling my mobile.

Deb

Hi Debbie,
I tend to get quite inundated with private requests for help via PM. Some forummers here can attest to the fact that a single phone call on a private issue can take up to 2 hours. I used to have more time and could do it and I did it for free. Now, I have less time. So... ever since I started my coaching/therapy services, I've been implementing the following.

I am happy to help for (in my spots of free time) if you don't mind sharing your issue publicly on this forum. This way, my response to you is shared with others and everyone learns. If you want a private consultation, you can read up on the options here...
(1) http://www.petunialee.blogspot.co.il/p/therapy.html
(2) http://www.petunialee.blogspot.co.il/p/coaching.html

My advice to you is to read the book first. I realize that until parents have read the book, I end up explaining some of the basic strategies already in the book. This takes up time... and if you pay for that sharing as part of Coaching/Therapy... it is very expensive. To save money, it makes more sense to read the book first.

Don't panic. Even if I call you now, I don't think it'll help much. Read the book first... don't panic... think about what you have read... some things will fall into place. I've seen that happen very often.

Very often parents come to me and are very burdened. Over time, I realized that many of these motivation problems that parents see as insurmountable, are very very solvable. You just need to know how. Calm down... don't panic... have faith that yours is a solvable problem. Read the book and try to solve it yourself first.

If you need coaching even after reading the book, then you can let me know. I will waste less time and you will waste less money in coaching IF you have already read the book.

[sean wife]

Hi Petunia,


The coaching session is for parents to motivate their kids right? So it is optional to bring the kid along right?

Thanks.

[Chenonceau]

sean wife:

Hi Petunia,


The coaching session is for parents to motivate their kids right? So it is optional to bring the kid along right?

Thanks.

Hi Sean Wife... we have you on record as having bought the book? Am I right? How is the book?

The coaching session involves only parents. Therapy sessions involve children. Therapy sessions cost more than coaching sessions. Typically, parents come for coaching. Therapy sessions are required ONLY IF, in order to learn, the parent requires hands-on demonstration effectuated by me upon their child. Most parents can manage with coaching alone. Unless there are very stubborn parent habits and important blind spots, I generally do not advise therapy.

[sean wife]

Chenonceau:

sean wife:

Hi Petunia,


The coaching session is for parents to motivate their kids right? So it is optional to bring the kid along right?

Thanks.

Hi Sean Wife... we have you on record as having bought the book? Am I right? How is the book?

The coaching session involves only parents. Therapy sessions involve children. Therapy sessions cost more than coaching sessions. Typically, parents come for coaching. Therapy sessions are required ONLY IF, in order to learn, the parent requires hands-on demonstration effectuated by me upon their child. Most parents can manage with coaching alone. Unless there are very stubborn parent habits and important blind spots, I generally do not advise therapy.

Yes yes...the book is indeed a very good read…the devil is in the implementation though, so thought of seeking some personal advice if really need to…btw what are your ‘consultation’ hours like on weekdays and weekends?

[Coolkidsrock2]

Hi Chen, agree with Sean Wife that the devil is in the implementation rather than learning it on a principle basis. Although I attend mentoring, teaching, motivating, self help classes as part of my corporate training and I also have a performance management pyschologist coaching me, I still feel that I cannot implement it as well as yourself or some of the parents here. I have seen vast improvements in kids and my #1 had shown in excess of 50 T-score points improvement from p5 year end to p6 prelim, I feel that she can achieve a lot more if she has parents who can groom her the way yourself or some others can do it. If you are planning a second book, it will be good if it is more prescriptive, ie contain more of how you do it. Also, will be good if you can extend the issues all the way to JC level. Kids grow up and they have grown up, the approach will be different so any help will be appreciated.

[Chenonceau]

Coolkidsrock2:

Hi Chen, agree with Sean Wife that the devil is in the implementation rather than learning it on a principle basis. Although I attend mentoring, teaching, motivating, self help classes as part of my corporate training and I also have a performance management pyschologist coaching me, I still feel that I cannot implement it as well as yourself or some of the parents here. I have seen vast improvements in kids and my #1 had shown in excess of 50 T-score points improvement from p5 year end to p6 prelim, I feel that she can achieve a lot more if she has parents who can groom her the way yourself or some others can do it. If you are planning a second book, it will be good if it is more prescriptive, ie contain more of how you do it. Also, will be good if you can extend the issues all the way to JC level. Kids grow up and they have grown up, the approach will be different so any help will be appreciated.

The book has plenty of stories on how I applied the strategies in the personal anecdotes, no? Each chapter has a section on How To, no? And another section on Challenges to look out for, no? I specifically described how the strategies were applied to my situation or some other client's situation. What I could not do was write a prescription for EVERY reader's specific situation because every situation is different. That is why I provide coaching services. Some can straight away see their own application. Others need some private help to make the link. But having read the book, coaching goes faster, is more time efficient and cost efficient.

It is possible you feel lost in the application to your own situation. There is no way to write a book that prescribes to readers what to do in every situation simply because there are an infinite variety of situations and motivation solutions need to be customized to each situation. The 11 strategies are the basic ingredients of motivation recipes... but being able to combine them for this and that situation is where they unleash their power.

I dare not PRETEND to prescribe one size fits all solutions because I know that readers will try them and many will find that the solution DOES NOT WORK because inappropriate to the situation. There is no one size fits all solution to motivation issues. Kids are different. Moms are different. Tasks are different. So MANY different variables.It's better that I coach you through the steps of reading the situations and combining the strategies. Less dangerous for you... less harmful to my professional reputation.

Level of Skill at Implementation
As for skill, there is very little chance that after reading a book that documents only a fraction of what I use, and know... that you will be as good as I at motivating people. Don't have such high expectations of yourself. You will become frustrated. I have 20 years of experience. You have only read my book and received coaching from a performance management psychologist.

One of my clients is a musician, she despaired that she would ever get to my level of competence. I explained that it is the difference between her and I in music. She is a professional musician. I am not. I am happy to make a simple tune come out of my piano. She can do much more. No one should expect to get to MY level of competence after reading my book. The skills need practice. If you try and you practice, you can get 50+ points of improvement from your DD... that is good. You can get a nice tune out of your child... that is good. There is no need to be a pro like me. :snuggles: These are skills. They need practice and experimentation. You need to be patient and kind with yourself.

Proprietary Know How
You also won't get through to the finer details of my motivation strategies if coached by someone else other than me. Whomever the performance management psychologist helping you might be, there is no chance he/she possesses the part of my knowledge that undergirds Petunia's Book EVEN IF he/she has a PhD.

This is because part of what I do comes from my own original PhD research which I have chosen to NOT publish and have formally requested that my university keep confidential for some years. Part of the foundational knowledge underlying Petunia's easy-to-understand book is actually known only to Petunia herself... and her thesis supervisor as well as 2 other researchers. None of the other 3 know the whole thing as well as Petunia does, though.

It was my research after all.

Extending To Teens
Yes yes... this has been requested of me... along with other books. I have attempted to help this extension along with blogposts put up for free consumption. I hope they are helpful. See here - http://petunialee.blogspot.sg/2012/07/separation-individuation.html. This blogpost along with this - http://www.motivationgenome.blogspot.sg/2012/07/teen-motivation-design-self-concept.html... sheds some light on how some strategies need to be adapted for teens.

This said, writing an easy to read and fun book premised on serious research is very hard work. I have received so many requests for next books. See here - http://petunialee.blogspot.sg/2012/07/book-on-dog-motivation.html.

The one that I am most likely to write in all that list of requests is \"How to Motivate My Husband to WANT to Be Nice to Me.\" :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: But... ummm... this book may or may not get written. It sounds fun to write but it's a lotta hard work.

[Chenonceau]

sean wife:

Chenonceau:

Hi Sean Wife... we have you on record as having bought the book? Am I right? How is the book?

Yes yes...the book is indeed a very good read…the devil is in the implementation though, so thought of seeking some personal advice if really need to…btw what are your ‘consultation’ hours like on weekdays and weekends?

I am available every weekday up to 7pm... Saturdays up to 12 noon. Sundays are rest days. I don't sign people to a package promising X sessions etc... We plan from session to session how we want the next session to be. Parents stop anytime they begin to feel good about how their kids respond to them at home. Some parents need only ONE session and they know what to do with THREE kids. Other parents need more sustained follow-up.

So far though... no one has spent more than $3000 before \"graduating\".

[Coolkidsrock2]

Sorry, don't mean to appear to be critical of your writing. :imsorry:


Will re-read the book more carefully. Have pm-ed you with regard to fees and charges.