All About Full-Time Maids
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MMM:
I guess she may not bother that she's going out without locking the door. One of my earlier maids had been sneaking out the back door while we were sleeping. Leaving the backdoor unlocked. :!: Found out only when we got a call from hospital that this party-goer has fainted on a bus. :rant:
1) We intend not to leave the keys behind and locked our room and pils' room. We will most likely leave her the small gate key so that she can at least get out of the house to throw rubbish. Don't intend to leave the key to main door since she can lock from within the house. That means, she should not go out as by doing so, the door will not be lock. -
Mathsparks
I have an idea.Next time we take turn to go for holidays.So I will take care of your maid when you are away and vice versa...how huh?But risky, two maids in a household can create more problems....Unless one of us is maidless then...hahahahmathsparks:
I'm sending mine to my maid and giving my mum $10 per day to upkeep her. :lol:
She'll help mum out but mum will compensate her also. So, quite good deal for her la. Still getting salary from us, plus mum's.
I would never ever leave my maid alone while we're on holidays. If possible, we arrange the old one to leave (like joy eh?) then we go on our holidays. But this is risky, once, we were in Beijing frantically arranging for our new maid to come in.
:x Lucky there also have internet cafes, and we could receive biodata. And, we didn't learn our lesson and it happened again when we were in Genting. :rant:
Once bitten twice shy??? Nah..Maybe next year again. It's tempting to arrange this way becoz we change maids at year end, plus go on holidays then. But who knows, the maid you've chosen decided to give ya problems b4 she even arrives. haiz. -
Hi MMM,
I agree with the above posts.
We did that when we went for a cruise for 4 days or so last year.
She did not create any problems and still does not. But in our absence, she had stepped out of the flat and made frds with the other maids (she does not have off days and we keep a tight reign over her), borrowed magazines, and bought petty items. Then when we came back, aft some time, she requested for a small radio, which ok, we obliged cuz she is a gd worker and takes care of DS well.
Subsequently, we will leave her at my ILs, aft advising her that she can speak with the nxt door maid (grandma in law’s), but no discussion of salary allowed as the latter gets a lower pay.
My maid is already considered quite gd, aft reading postings from here. So please, can you try to find an alternative, like putting her up in your parents’/relatives’ place?? -
peapot:
Hi cmm, this was also one of the reason why I prefer new maids without experience. Once a maid clear their loan, they will try all sorts of things.
Fully agree with kiasimom that \"kindness does not beget kindness\".
I feel that no matter what, in the event things don't work out between the employer and the maid, the former is ALWAYS at the losing end. I learnt this the hard way too. Therefore, I do not count on it that my maid will stay loyal to me. Of course that are loyal maids around, but these are few and far between. Blessed are the employers who hired them. But for the rest of us, we need to be on our guard to protect ourselves.
sing_xiangxiang, I certainly feel that it is within your right, perhaps not as employer, but definitely as owner of the house to have your maid's luggage unlocked. You have a right to know what is being kept in your house, no? I'm going to take this a bit further here... should there be something illegal in her luggage and this is discovered by legal officers, can you eradicate yourself by claiming ignorance? (though I'm quite sure your maid can't be hiding something of that sort in her luggage....yet!!)
My current maid has been with me for 11/2 years. So far so good. Our relationship is cordial. If she does something wrong, I tell her off firmly. I do not raise my voice. As I told her before, she's an adult and I treat her as one. And I expect her to behave herself with the sensibility of one too. -
Hi,
Just sharing my experiences in hiring a maid.....
Aft our first transfer maid gave us alot of headache, this is the strategy we decided to employ:
DH and I first established a friendly r/s with agency owner. We insisted on speaking to the owner cuz prior to that, his employee had pushed a transfer maid to us who caused a lot of headache. This is to set the tune for any problems that might arise aft we employ the replacement maid. If it means singing his praises so be it. An example is when we returned the transfer maid, we spoke to the agency in a matter of fact way and even praised the maid for being gd at house cleaning, but attitude really way off. That did not put the owner off, instead when questioned the maid, she admitted that we were gd to her but she wanted to go back to Indo. So indirectly, we pushed the blame to the maid.
Then we lay our cards on the table clearly (to prevent further problems) that the maid must be new, a certain age, teachable (so I can mold her the way things shd be done in the flat as my DH is v v fussy abt cleanliness), good attitude and must like children (even if no experience, nver mind, can learn how to take care) no off days, even aft loan paid up or renew contract. She must also be willing to be flexible in that if I drop them at MIL's place (landed property) and if DS is sleeping, she must help with housewk and not stay idle, but of course DS is first priority. I also devised a set of questions pertaining to real life senarios that will possibly happen if she works with us and asked her how she will handle such a situation. If she can provide me with a rationale answer, then I know two things - 1st, she can speak relatively well, 2nd, she has common sense.
I keep a tight reign over her. I do the grocery alone or she accompanies me. I never let her buy groceries, only down the block to the provision shop and to bring my son to the playgrd, because that way I can keep an eye on the timing. To compensate for this, whenever we go out, we try to take her along, let her sit with us, order whatever she wants (this too aft she has been with us for 6 mths). I give her the same food we eat and sometimes even a bigger portion of it because I know she is a gd worker generally. But, I do not buy snacks for her except biscuits (crackers, not the sweet type). I do, however give her a share if I buy something like cake or whatever. Only recently (aft 1 year plus) have I allowed her to eat what I buy for the family instead of buying separately for her. It saves the hassel. Also because she has proven herself. We also let her call hm once a mth using the prepaid card. I don't joke with her unneccesarily, unless it concerns my son. But I always speak to her nicely and praise her in front of family and frds if she has done something well. All humans need to feel appreciated.
I also studied her character as she stayed with us. Of course the basics applied like gd hygiene etc.. Along the way, I taught her the way things shd be done and if she did anything wrong, just showed her and explained the rationale but never reprimanded her. I think in the almost 2 yrs she has been with us, I only shouted at her 2X and later apologized and explained the rationale. Therefore the rules were picked up by her via modelling or through indirect measures. For example, when I found out that she had stepped out of the flat when we were on a cruise, DH and I bided our time and finally one day, during dinner, we pretended to have a conversation abt our frd's maid who had done things behind their back and got herself into trouble with the authorities because of mixing with the wrong crowd etc... She took the hint and w/i a few days I noticed that she had returned the magazines she had borrowed from the other maids. DH believes in mediation, thats why even previous maid had to concede that we treated her well even though she gave us a headache.
One thing DH and I agree on is that we must put up a united front when dealing with her, no gd guy/bad guy strategy here. That way, she knows she can't be manipulative.
Yes, I know that many of you may think that I am fortunate to have a maid who is quite nice. She has her moods too but I let her be. DH and I believe that they are also humans, hence, we did not kick up a fuss when she stepped out behind our backs, we understand her need to communicate, but we also do not want to encourage it. And we feel that if we confront her, she might do more things behind our back and worse, DS is only 2+ yrs, what if she takes it out on him?? Unorthodox as our methods are, it has worked and there has been peace in the family.
Based on my observation of her character, she seems to be the 'princess' sort and is here only to work so that she can save money to buy land. In that sense, that is her motivation.
I guess the true test came when recently we went to Thailand for a break and left her at ILs for a week. When we came back, she had tears in her eyes when she saw my DS.
Her contract is ending in March nxt yr. I do not know if she wants to renew. We have told her to let us know soon. If she does, gd but same conditions apply. If she doesn't, too bad, I will have to look for another one. I am aware that I might not be so lucky to get a maid with her attitude and I may have to adjust my treatment/behaviour towards the new maid. I am a little nervous abt it, but this thread has provided me with a wealth of information as to what to look out for and I appreciate the contributions made by evryone here.
Apologies for the v long post. This is already the edited version. That is why I refrained all this time from sharing.
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Joy:
That's a great idea! But, after I pick up my maid from your house, she'll ask \"Mam, why my salary lower than Elvie's and why I've only 1 day off a month? Why can't I use my handphone? Mam Joy allow Elvie to use.\" :rant: :xMathsparks
I have an idea.Next time we take turn to go for holidays.So I will take care of your maid when you are away and vice versa...how huh?But risky, two maids in a household can create more problems....Unless one of us is maidless then...hahahah
Actually that's why my bro/sis refuse to take my maid when I travel. -
Hi autumnbronze,
I think I have found a soulmate in you :oops:
Our maid is not allowed to go out of the house unnecessarily too.
DH does all the grocery shopping, my maid is only allowed to go to the nearby shops to buy small items when needed and she knows she has to come back fast.
There is no good and bad guy between DH and me.
We have to synchronise with each other so that she knows we sing the same tune.
Maids are clever people. If they know one party side with her, she will go to that party. So DH and I have always come to an agreement that we will act in unison.
DH and I do not allow her to go on off days but we do compensate by bringing her along when we go shopping.
To cut the story short, it is a pure employer-employee relationship.
We do praise her when she performs well but we will correct her too if she does something wrong.
So far, this maid is coping well with us. :celebrate: -
Hi, I have been reading all the above posts with much interest. FYI DW and me are first time employer of maid so not much experience. We have been deliberating as to renew my current maid for another term, which has been with us for 1 half year, for the following reasons:
Pro
- she got good temper & character, and can mix with my kids
- can teach my little boy (4 years old) simple ABC and math
- so far can be relied upon when DW and myself not at home
- good cook
- household average, not fantastic - as occassionally I still have to tell her to pack here or pack there
- she got above average look, which my parents seem to like her
Con
- although from start we specifically told her cannot have HP, lately we found out she got one. Upon request, she showed us the phone and when reviewed noted there were obscene messages from a guy. Maid said she do not know him but as the phone was bought from another maid so it was a handover, and the guy continue from there. My point is if she never respond why the guy still keep sending right?
- yesterday at 3.30AM I on the way to toilet noted maid phone (she put on vibrating mode) is flashing. :shock:
- She asked for one day off upon renewal although we already agree to increase her salary by $30 per month.
Therefore, appreciate your kind adv ASAP as whether to keep my maid or to get a new maid. Thanking you in advance. -
To me, most important is can get along with my kids. HP or not is not important. These maids need to have some freedom too. I have encountered those who simply cannot get along with my kids. It's really a pain in the neck :stupid:
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kawan
am a very strict mdm you know?no hp, no off days...you know...my maid will be the one that ask, why mdm mathsparks maid got this , got off day, why I DONT VE HUH...HAHAHAHAmathsparks:
That's a great idea! But, after I pick up my maid from your house, she'll ask \"Mam, why my salary lower than Elvie's and why I've only 1 day off a month? Why can't I use my handphone? Mam Joy allow Elvie to use.\" :rant: :xJoy:
Mathsparks
I have an idea.Next time we take turn to go for holidays.So I will take care of your maid when you are away and vice versa...how huh?But risky, two maids in a household can create more problems....Unless one of us is maidless then...hahahah
Actually that's why my bro/sis refuse to take my maid when I travel.
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