Debt recovery problem

[UncleLim]

What is $2k as a percentage of your annual income ?


Can you bring yourself to forgive the debt ?

I struggled with this same issue recently. I have decided to forgive the debt and move on with my life. Disappointed, yes. But hopefully a bit wiser.

[pinky]

Hi UncleLim

thanks for sharing. I have not yet decide if I will drop this matter but for my husband, he just admitted that on hindsight he was too soft-hearted. Anyway, no more loans from him :xedfingers: and we will see how events unfold the next week. Frankly, the feeling of being played out sucks and I am trying to let go of the anger first. :stompfeet:

[UncleLim]

pinky:

Hi UncleLim

thanks for sharing. I have not yet decide if I will drop this matter but for my husband, he just admitted that on hindsight he was too soft-hearted. Anyway, no more loans from him :xedfingers: and we will see how events fold the next week. Frankly, the feeling of being played out sucks and I am trying to let go of the anger first. :stompfeet:

Hi Pinky,

Your anger is totally understandable. I went through that stage too and even drove to my friend's home intending to confront him when he stopped answering my calls. But I stopped myself from going up to his flat to make a scene in front of his family and neighbours, and headed home.

If you are a bible reading person, check out Psalm 37.

May God bless you and your husband in many ways for your kindness.

[BeContented]

pinky:

Hi UncleLim

thanks for sharing. I have not yet decide if I will drop this matter but for my husband, he just admitted that on hindsight he was too soft-hearted. Anyway, no more loans from him :xedfingers: and we will see how events fold the next week. Frankly, the feeling of being played out sucks and I am trying to let go of the anger first. :stompfeet:

Hi Pinky,
It won't be easy to let go, anger will probably be up & down in cycles.
I have gone through a few times of loaning $ to friends & siblings. While I do get back the $ eventually (over 3-8 year period), it can get really frustrating.
After loaning to them, we had to skimp & cut down on our expenses/lifestyle .... while our borrowers still go travel/restaurants etc & took own sweet time to return the money. Even as I wrote this, we had just bailed our BIL out from a few moneylenders/loansharks. Apparently cannot tell my MIL nor his wife.....so meanwhile, the wife had gone Europe for 2+weeks of holiday & planning another venue for 1.5weeks in Dec.....while I gotta wait 7 years to get back the full loan. The last loan, he tried to waive off a few $K behind my back (DH agreed to it :mad: ) but it leaked so no choice gotta repay.

It's never easy to loan $ to people. Next time, b4 loaning, must ask if oneself if one is ready to forfeit it......

[Mychildren]

pinky:

Hi UncleLim

thanks for sharing. I have not yet decide if I will drop this matter but for my husband, he just admitted that on hindsight he was too soft-hearted. Anyway, no more loans from him :xedfingers: and we will see how events fold the next week. Frankly, the feeling of being played out sucks and I am trying to let go of the anger first. :stompfeet:

My DH had also lend his friend some $$ but wasn't return. Even when c each other, the person looks as if nothing has happened. What to do with no evidence so just learn from it & forget it & carry on with your life.
一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳.

Must inform the rest la so that precaution can be taken against this fellow.

Move on & have a cup of tea! :celebrate:

[Mychildren]

BeContented:

pinky:

Hi UncleLim

thanks for sharing. I have not yet decide if I will drop this matter but for my husband, he just admitted that on hindsight he was too soft-hearted. Anyway, no more loans from him :xedfingers: and we will see how events fold the next week. Frankly, the feeling of being played out sucks and I am trying to let go of the anger first. :stompfeet:

Hi Pinky,
It won't be easy to let go, anger will probably be up & down in cycles.
I have gone through a few times of loaning $ to friends & siblings. While I do get back the $ eventually (over 3-8 year period), it can get really frustrating.
After loaning to them, we had to skimp & cut down on our expenses/lifestyle .... while our borrowers still go travel/restaurants etc & took own sweet time to return the money. Even as I wrote this, we had just bailed our BIL out from a few moneylenders/loansharks. Apparently cannot tell my MIL nor his wife.....so meanwhile, the wife had gone Europe for 2+weeks of holiday & planning another venue for 1.5weeks in Dec.....while I gotta wait 7 years to get back the full loan. The last loan, he tried to waive off a few $K behind my back (DH agreed to it :mad: ) but it leaked so no choice gotta repay.

It's never easy to loan $ to people. Next time, b4 loaning, must ask if oneself if one is ready to forfeit it......

U really go to loansharks??? Sorry, not that I don't believe u. Few years back, for some period, I saw my lift's wall, there was writings of owe $, pay $ sort of thing & the unit no. there. Once, I saw a police too, it may be due to this incident.

Its kind of scary to borrow from loansharks. I wonder could this be avoided? :?

[pinky]

hi BeContented,

wow, your BIL is really too much. how come you cannot reveal to his mother and wife? are you n your husband gonna go on subsidising him endlessly?

hi Mychildren,
yes, my husband did bring up to his other colleagues about the unpaid loan so that they will be aware of it.

[pinky]

hi UncleLim

thanks for your advice and blessings.
Still feel the pain though and hope all is not lost.

[BeContented]

Mychildren:

U really go to loansharks??? Sorry, not that I don't believe u. Few years back, for some period, I saw my lift's wall, there was writings of owe $, pay $ sort of thing & the unit no. there. Once, I saw a police too, it may be due to this incident.

Its kind of scary to borrow from loansharks. I wonder could this be avoided? :?

We din go to the loanshark/moneylenders. Gave the $ to BIL to settle his debts himself. This is his first time.....& he came to us for help cos it's starting to snowball & he will not be able to keep this in dark anymore.
DH's sibling after all, so agreed to help but told DH to warn BIL it's first & last time cos I'm very worried if he does it again.

Actually I had encountered having paints splashed at my door b4. FIL acted as a guarantor for his friend (who happened to be MIL relative), & end up my house kena. :mad: We made a police report & apparently there was some mistake cos the friend already paid up. After that, no more trouble. So DH also know his side is very troublesome...... :slapshead:

Think if the BIL was willing to come clean with his wife, probably would not have reached this stage.

[Mychildren]

BeContented,

Sorry, misinterpret the BIL as bill, read too fast, my problem. Thanks for your explanation.