Club SAHM

[ectanz]

sleepy:

ectanz:

Met with some of my relatives a week ago. Really very demoralized. The first word from them - must treat yr husband good and gentle

You keep the money la :evil:

My hubby always said he's like a bank teller, only get to count $ but doesn't get to keep :rotflmao:

Nope. My hb gave me the amount we both agreed before I \"converted\" to SAHM. This will be my monthly allowance. Hb will take charge of all household expenditures and kid's tuition fees. This is also remark from my relatives that why I don't take control of his money. With the sole control of his financial, at least I'm feeling secure. Prior to our marriage, we both managed our income or money separately and hence I don't think I could change this when I became SAHM. Hb won't agree and I don't want to, very troublesome.....

[ectanz]

Blessedwife:

ectanz:

[quote=\"Blessedwife\"]Hee yes I love bags !!!!


Have a vast collections of them

Hmm I just started to like the Korean drama I am watching the first wife strike back ? Er... Can't find the proper English title on the DVD.
All along I am watching the HK TVB serial.

This show also on channel 8 at 11pm too.

Happened to see the 1st episode and thought it's a nice drama so went to buy the DVD

I hv watched from morning till now haha....

Me too, are also into bags. I used to request my hb to buy bag from HK cos much cheaper than Spore.

I am a BIG fan of korean programmes. From variety shows to drama. I love their foods..... :drool:

Hi Ectanz,

Nice to know you

Oh you loves bags too !! I know getting bags from Hk is cheaper but never have a chance to get it from there. Always bought my bags either from Singapore or from Europe which hubby used to travel to for business trips.

Hmm as to what your relatives said you don't have to take it to heart they are just jealous of you?

Now that you bring up this topic I am curious to know from many SAHM here. Do you really think that we need to treat our hubby exceptional \"nice\" in return for letting us be a SAHM ?

For me, I never think of it this way. Of cos, when my hubby asked me to be SAHM I feel being loved and blessed and no doubt I love him even more (as compared to before marriage). This is a mutual feeling.

By loving him more, I will want to cook more of his fave food and let him come back to a happy family after a tiring day.[/quote]Hi Blessedwife, nice to know you too! :rahrah:
Prior to become SAHM, I was FTWM and always in rush to fetch both my dds. One was in IFC and the other K2. That time, my relationship with my Hb was quite bad. Lots of quarrels and arguments due to the stress of juggling both my job and kids. My Hb worked quite late almost everyday and ended up I have to rush from my workplace (west) to CCC (north) to fetch my 2 dds. I will have to leave my workplace on time and I have to bring my stuff back home to finish. In the end, hb asked me to make decision on whether to quit the job or hire maid as he can't help me with the kids and moreover he will be posted overseas temporarily and will only be back once a month. No choice but to become SAHM as my kids are my priority.

[MummyThreeStreams]

dearzen:

slmkhoo:

[quote=\"dearzen\"]Well said. But maybe I can't see it in my situation now as my kids r still young. They need my attention & care. I envy friends or mummies like u who are able to hv quality time wif hb. Like gg out for dates, dinner etc. in my situation, I hv no luxury of extra help. Maids are out for me.

I've never had a live-in maid either. For a few years here and there, I've had part-time help of a few hours a week, but we've essentially been on our own. One thing we did to protect a bit of couple time, even when the kids were small, was to put them to bed early. Up to kindy age, they were usually in bed by 8pm or so. Even though we couldn't go out, we would watch TV, listen to music, have supper, or just talk. When we were in Singapore (we've mostly been overseas), my parents would take the kids one night a week so we could go out together. Do you have family who could baby sit once in a way? Couple time, even if it's only a few minutes in the evening to chat, is important enough that you should try to make time for it. After a few years of letting the kids have all your attention, it may be too late.

Hi,

I hv no 1 to help. Even last time b4 I become a SAHM, I hv engaged a baby sitter. But also must rush to fetch my kid. Then #2 came, I decided to quit my job.[/quote]Dearzen,

Couple time is so important! It is so easy to lose touch of each other. I know how u feel about being suffocated sometimes. It's like we ate always looking after others but who looks after us?!

But when I have really good one on one time with the hubby, it beats having me time, coz then I feel like he cares and is taking care of me and my tank is topped up.

When u feel like u really are annoyed with your hubby, date night is probably overdue!

I am overseas now and my family is in Singapore. We finally decided to hire babysitters for us to go out at least once or twice a month. It's a really good investment for the long-term health of your relationship. If u can't find a sitter, see if a friend can help.

[MummyThreeStreams]

ectanz:

sleepy:

[quote=\"ectanz\"]Met with some of my relatives a week ago. Really very demoralized. The first word from them - must treat yr husband good and gentle

You keep the money la :evil:

My hubby always said he's like a bank teller, only get to count $ but doesn't get to keep :rotflmao:

Nope. My hb gave me the amount we both agreed before I \"converted\" to SAHM. This will be my monthly allowance. Hb will take charge of all household expenditures and kid's tuition fees. This is also remark from my relatives that why I don't take control of his money. With the sole control of his financial, at least I'm feeling secure. Prior to our marriage, we both managed our income or money separately and hence I don't think I could change this when I became SAHM. Hb won't agree and I don't want to, very troublesome.....[/quote]I am not extra nice to hubby just coz he let's me be a SAHM. In fact, my life is harder now, so actually he has to be nicer to me! :evil:

But he takes care of all the family money. I have my personal account, which I use to buy my stuff, but he takes care of the rest. I won't have time to manage the money. Busy enough!

[dreamie momma]

slmkhoo:

Blessedwife:

Now that you bring up this topic I am curious to know from many SAHM here. Do you really think that we need to treat our hubby exceptional \"nice\" in return for letting us be a SAHM ?


For me, I never think of it this way. Of cos, when my hubby asked me to be SAHM I feel being loved and blessed and no doubt I love him even more (as compared to before marriage). This is a mutual feeling.

By loving him more, I will want to cook more of his fave food and let him come back to a happy family after a tiring day.

I don't see it as him 'letting' me be a SAHM. In some ways, it's easier to work outside the home and outsource to others; being a SAHM means that I feel obliged to take on a lot of duties because we can't afford outside help or it just seems silly to get outside help when I'm at home all day anyway. We made a joint decision based on family circumstances and needs, and we both have made some sacrifices as well gained by the decision. Of course I do my best to make the home a happy place, manage the housework, take care of the kids etc, but cooking and housework are not my strong points and my family has to put up with simple fare and slapdash housekeeping because that is the best I can do.

i also feel its easier to work outside... haha i'm a newbie sahm & have only 1 baby, but i can say that i've never felt so tired in my life. my hubby also has to deal with a messier home & one dish meals now.

[Mychildren]

jedamum:

Our life style is comfortable without the luxury holidays, car, fine dining or private housing based on single income. Husband is happy that at least I expect less and he is less stressful with keeping up with instalments and such. The kids are sensible in not comparing with their better well off friends too.

But, I did advise ds1 to marry a more capable wife than his mum and encourage him to let his wife work and I offer to care for his children next time so they can enjoy the dual income benefit that we miss. Husband asked why I bother as it won't be as if son will give us more allowance because of it so why I bother spending my Silver years tied to my grand children. My reasoning is that standard of living are so high and I want my grand children to live more comfortably than us and my son not to be too stressful with the dual income. Having said that, I also told my son that he should earn enough so his wife will have the option to stay home for the kids if she wants. Like his mum. So he better study hard now! Lol!

jedamum,
Wow, u really plan ahead. I've never think about all this. I just settling the everyday issues now, I've not think that far. I prefer my son's wife to look after their own children because then there'll be bonding between them & I may not be alive to c the grandchildren then. Not cursing myself. I just tell my sons to do their best in whatever they do & pray that they love God. Its a reminder for me too!
Understand that the living expenses are up but I leave the financial planning to my DH. I just handle the everyday household matters & the kids. My DH also helps in the housework together with the boys. My elder one is already in auto mode so I don't need to remind him now.

[sleepy]

ectanz:

Nope. My hb gave me the amount we both agreed before I \"converted\" to SAHM. This will be my monthly allowance. Hb will take charge of all household expenditures and kid's tuition fees. This is also remark from my relatives that why I don't take control of his money. With the sole control of his financial, at least I'm feeling secure. Prior to our marriage, we both managed our income or money separately and hence I don't think I could change this when I became SAHM. Hb won't agree and I don't want to, very troublesome.....

It didn't started out this way. My hubby also travelling a lot then (many years ago) so he found it troublesome if need to wait for him to return to sign cheques to pay credit card bills. Many years back, internet banking was not as comprehensive. So I promptly suggested to him to credit his pay to my account & I can run all the errands for him :evil:

Anyway, we opened a new joint account 2 years ago so his salary is now credited to that joint account. He is still totally hands-off though, absolutely no idea what are our internet banking pins (his pins with me too) or what's our bank balance :evil:

He only instructed me to transfer a fixed amount to his single account every month because that particular bank has plenty of ATM machines so more convenient for him to withdraw cash. So in that sense, that amount is his fixed monthly cash allowance. Credit card wise, I'm only holding supplementary cards so I guess he doesn't really feel restricted in his spending in any way. He just pass me the charge slips and I will be verifying his credit card transactions for him too.

He's actually happy with this arrangement because he is really not an errand person, issue cheque can write numbers wrongly, cannot remember credit cards due date and kanna finance charges a few times. So it's a relief to him that I took over the management I have complete access to do fund transfer, pay bills, tuition fees, etc so basically I'm running the entire household while he just needs to concentrate on bringing home the bacon

I don't have a fixed month allowance. Spend at will. He doesn't & never bother to check what I spend on. Anyway he knows very well I 精打细算 so very unlikely to spend unnecessarily.

Hmm...what if I elope with a 花美男 someday :evil: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[Mychildren]

Oh, sleepy, u going to elope with 花美男??? (Just teasing).

[sleepy]

Mychildren:

Oh, sleepy, u going to elope with 花美男??? (Just teasing).

This item has always been on my wish list :evil:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[Mychildren]

sleepy:

Mychildren:

Oh, sleepy, u going to elope with 花美男??? (Just teasing).

This item has always been on my wish list :evil:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Then u had better not let him know else he'll take over the $$ management himself. (Just kidding) :rotflmao: