Suicide - Do not involve the children

[Mychildren]

phankao:

fightingmom:

Suicidal thoughts can be frightening and confusing. If one can no longer see the reason to go on living, the distress can be unbearable. 


It helps to talk to family and friends cos they may calm you down and as a third party, they may see whatever that you are facing now from a different angle and help you manage your difficulties. 

If there is no one to turn to, I guess joining online discussion group or writing down our thoughts help cos over time, it gives fresh insight and increase our ability to respond to our difficulties differently. 

All of us have difficulties at times but there is no difficulty too great to overcome. 

But talking to others doesn't solve the problem of the child at all. The only way we can solve it is to abandon the child leh - some parents can do that. Leave their child most of the time and ignore their problems, but it is still there.

Of course one way is to abort so \"prevent\" the problem. But that brings about another discussion lah.

Another way is NEVER GET MARRIED. Being single is so much better . Again, that brings about another controversial discussion !!! haha!

Have fun agreeing and disagreeing!

I'm going to :siam:

At least it solved the parents' problem first.

But I have a few friends who want to get married so badly....Kekeke :rotflmao:

[janet88]

It is sad when suicide involves kids.

If the woman has young kids and commits suicide with them, it could be her fear that if husband remarries, the stepmother ill-treats them. For any mother to kill her own child, it is very heartbreaking.

[Lilac66]

Thanks Sun for the sharing.


ANother way is to pray.(whatever your religion). Also if we believe that our \"suicide tendency\" is only a short-lived storm, we will grit our teeth and know it'll pass.Of course if it persists, then we ought to seek professional help . In our pressure cooker society, this thought crops up once in a while in alot of people I believe. Confiding in friends, obviously will not solve the problem, but friends may offer some new perspectives to a problem and that in itself is a right start to look at a it in a different light. The mountain may not look as insurmountable then.

It's alittle like our younger rebellious days, during any tiff with my family, we'll contemplate running away from home thinking that will put an end to our woes. But finally not many will really do it and most times things get better.


I try to keep this very good quote by Dolphinsiah in the \"inspiring quotes\" thead rooted in my mind...

\" Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, but learning to dance in the rain\".

[Mychildren]

phankao:

Mychildren:

[quote=\"phankao\"]

I am afraid the thought of getting rid of the exasperating toddler situation has been so strong for me many many times over the last 18yrs since I've started being a parent with my 1st child that I can totally understand.

As such, I can never say it's \"wrong\", nor it's \"right\".

Most just do not understand.

I hope you're fine with your kid now. Sorry, I don't know how to console you.
But I do feel the pain in your words.

I can't say I am \"fine\" with them, but I can mostly ignore them and ignore my parenting \"duties\" if I want to now even. They are 18, 15, 13. Able to take care of themselves, lah. Except I do have an irritating preschooler as well!!! Yikes![/quote]Your words keep running in my mind. I don't understand the part about ignore. How could ignoring be done when they're always at your side? For your 13 & above, understand they're starting to have their own thinking & don't bother much what the adults said. But what about the small one unless u put this child in studentcare or childcare & only c him/her from the evening time on weekdays & over the weekends?
There's no obligation to answer me though.

Understand that parenting job is no easy as ABC & its not what u can follow from reading many books as every child is unique. In fact, I'm still learning that each & everyday.

[phankao]

Mychildren:

phankao:

I can't say I am \"fine\" with them, but I can mostly ignore them and ignore my parenting \"duties\" if I want to now even. They are 18, 15, 13. Able to take care of themselves, lah. Except I do have an irritating preschooler as well!!! Yikes!

Your words keep running in my mind. I don't understand the part about ignore. How could ignoring be done when they're always at your side? For your 13 & above, understand they're starting to have their own thinking & don't bother much what the adults said. But what about the small one unless u put this child in studentcare or childcare & only c him/her from the evening time on weekdays & over the weekends?
There's no obligation to answer me though.

They are usually not home until evening anyway. School keeps them busy. And when home, we can simply exist. They are not needy. They don't need to be taken care of. They can get around on their own.

My busiest is with the youngest. And hate it when the older ones fight with the younger one. *sigh*. Even their laughter irritates me when they play. So yes, you're right. WEekends are when I feel the most claustrophobic and I'd be most unhappy when I can't get out WITHOUT them on weekends. And at their ages, yes, I can leave them at home and not care about them.

[Mychildren]

I think you need a break from the children. Maybe get someone to handle them during the weekends for u to be alone & do what u like, eg. window shopping or take up some course or hobby.

I put my small one in playground for 2 hours as I need the time for myself to be alone for either planning for the rest of my day or just sit down to read or run some errands. DH also agreed to it as he said I need some space & time for myself if not I'll fall sick with so many tasks on hand. He's playing with my girl while I'm KSP.
But of course, when either one is sick, no 2 hours free for me on weekdays.

[phankao]

Mychildren:

I think you need a break from the children. Maybe get someone to handle them during the weekends for u to be alone & do what u like, eg. window shopping or take up some course or hobby.

I put my small one in playground for 2 hours as I need the time for myself to be alone for either planning for the rest of my day or just sit down to read or run some errands. DH also agreed to it as he said I need some space & time for myself if not I'll fall sick with so many tasks on hand. He's playing with my girl while I'm KSP.
But of course, when either one is sick, no 2 hours free for me on weekdays.

'

I think I get a lot of breaks from them. Every weekday (except weekends). The mornings when my littlest is in school I decided I'd not run errands and only do things I like. I've done lots of exploring which I enjoy.

But the moment I'm back with the kids. Aargh. The headache.

[Mychildren]

If u like music, put on some soothing music or your favourite songs while they're back. This is some sort of relaxation for me or go for a nice warm/cold bath or KSP here a while & back to them again. Kekeke

Maybe u already have a lot of ideas of what to do beside these.

Ya, or sneak into the kitchen for some yummy snacks.

[phankao]

Mychildren:

If u like music, put on some soothing music or your favourite songs while they're back. This is some sort of relaxation for me or go for a nice warm/cold bath or KSP here a while & back to them again. Kekeke

Maybe u already have a lot of ideas of what to do beside these.

Ya, or sneak into the kitchen for some yummy snacks.

How come you can have bath without the kids disturbing you? Even with a shower, my littlest one would bang at my door every few minutes to tell me things!

[mamago]

Hi, phankao


Sorry if i sound intruding…

could it be you are experiencing some hormonal changes, mood swing etc … or you have been getting this "claustrophobic" feeling all along for the last many years of having your children around …

You have 4 children, I guess you n your DH must have great love for children…

(My apology again… if I am 詞不達義 … just expressing a little of my thought…)