Government, what you really want us to do?

[corneyAmber]

nightlone:

i ascribe to the thinking that \"it's my choice to have kids so i need to be responsible for them and not park them at the grandparents or someone else.\"
if i think i cannot handle it, then i'm not going to give birth.
what's the point of having a child but being unable to spend time with them and nurture them? what's the point of giving birth when you just leave them with the grandparents or someone else all the time?

Hello hello :imanisland: :imanisland: are you talking about me?

[wearefamily]

nightlone:

well, the thing is every singaporean there will complain about how they cannot handle. they need the parents or parents in law to come over to take care. then when the grandparents are gone, it's like the 'holiday' is over.

i ascribe to the thinking that \"it's my choice to have kids so i need to be responsible for them and not park them at the grandparents or someone else.\"
if i think i cannot handle it, then i'm not going to give birth.
what's the point of having a child but being unable to spend time with them and nurture them? what's the point of giving birth when you just leave them with the grandparents or someone else all the time?

I love what you said, it's my sentiments exactly. What I had my first child we decided that we should bring up the kid ourselves. I gave up my corporate career. Sure, if I continued working we can hire a maid, leave the kid to the grandparents, or place in child care. It's a no-brainer for us actually. We gave up many things for me to stay at home. We have no grouses with our situation, and definitely don't blame anyone for the sacrifices we have to make.

[terry]

nightlone:

I agree with not hiring maids.

I lived in the States for a couple of years and observed the ang mohs. they have 3, 4 kids. Maybe 1 kid goes to a preschool. The other 2 goes to middle school. The other is, maybe, an infant. The mum brings the kids to school with no external help at all. She puts the car seat in the stroller and drops her preschooler off. Then drives off to drop the other 2. Or vice versa.
I suppose it is much easier with a car and big roads. I just do admire how they are able to do it.
The Singaporeans who have a young child and then give birth there (which makes 2) grumble and whine about how difficult it is to take care of 2 kids. But the ang mohs can do it in the same environment, so why can't the Singaporean?
I concluded that we are all molly-coddled in singapore so cannot adapt to make things work.

Then they all go for therapy.
Hv u all seen supernanny? If no help=kids like those, then i admit my weakness, i need maid n all resources to make sure i hv time for my kids. Discipline, nurturing, consistency. Watever u call u it, i wanna make sure im there for my kids when they need me. And not brush them off cos im busy with day to day survival.

[terry]

nightlone:

I agree with not hiring maids.

I lived in the States for a couple of years and observed the ang mohs. they have 3, 4 kids. Maybe 1 kid goes to a preschool. The other 2 goes to middle school. The other is, maybe, an infant. The mum brings the kids to school with no external help at all. She puts the car seat in the stroller and drops her preschooler off. Then drives off to drop the other 2. Or vice versa.
I suppose it is much easier with a car and big roads. I just do admire how they are able to do it.
The Singaporeans who have a young child and then give birth there (which makes 2) grumble and whine about how difficult it is to take care of 2 kids. But the ang mohs can do it in the same environment, so why can't the Singaporean?
I concluded that we are all molly-coddled in singapore so cannot adapt to make things work.

Then they all go for therapy.
Hv u all seen supernanny? If no help=kids like those, then i admit my weakness, i need maid n all resources to make sure i hv time for my kids. Discipline, nurturing, consistency. Watever u call u it, i wanna make sure im there for my kids when they need me. And not brush them off cos im busy with day to day survival.

[mamago]

nightlone:

I agree with not hiring maids.

I lived in the States for a couple of years and observed the ang mohs. they have 3, 4 kids. Maybe 1 kid goes to a preschool. The other 2 goes to middle school. The other is, maybe, an infant. The mum brings the kids to school with no external help at all. She puts the car seat in the stroller and drops her preschooler off. Then drives off to drop the other 2. Or vice versa.
I suppose it is much easier with a car and big roads. I just do admire how they are able to do it.
The Singaporeans who have a young child and then give birth there (which makes 2) grumble and whine about how difficult it is to take care of 2 kids. But the ang mohs can do it in the same environment, so why can't the Singaporean?
I concluded that we are all molly-coddled in singapore so cannot adapt to make things work.

But a lot of angmoh expatriates in Singapore are having maids, some even having 2 or 3 maids...like my neighbors... Why? :scratchhead: Cheaper to hire maids in Spore? :scratchhead: Expatriate's employment benefit? :scratchhead:
Where won't they live their lives here without external help? :scratchhead:

[terry]

nightlone:

I agree with not hiring maids.

I lived in the States for a couple of years and observed the ang mohs. they have 3, 4 kids. Maybe 1 kid goes to a preschool. The other 2 goes to middle school. The other is, maybe, an infant. The mum brings the kids to school with no external help at all. She puts the car seat in the stroller and drops her preschooler off. Then drives off to drop the other 2. Or vice versa.
I suppose it is much easier with a car and big roads. I just do admire how they are able to do it.
The Singaporeans who have a young child and then give birth there (which makes 2) grumble and whine about how difficult it is to take care of 2 kids. But the ang mohs can do it in the same environment, so why can't the Singaporean?
I concluded that we are all molly-coddled in singapore so cannot adapt to make things work.

Then they all go for therapy.
Hv u all seen supernanny? If no help=kids like those, then i admit my weakness, i need maid n all resources to make sure i hv time for my kids. Discipline, nurturing, consistency. Watever u call u it, i wanna make sure im there for my kids when they need me. And not brush them off cos im busy with day to day survival.

[resgmom]

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[resgmom]

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[resgmom]

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[terry]

Dora1:

nightlone:

I agree with not hiring maids.

I lived in the States for a couple of years and observed the ang mohs. they have 3, 4 kids. Maybe 1 kid goes to a preschool. The other 2 goes to middle school. The other is, maybe, an infant. The mum brings the kids to school with no external help at all. She puts the car seat in the stroller and drops her preschooler off. Then drives off to drop the other 2. Or vice versa.
I suppose it is much easier with a car and big roads. I just do admire how they are able to do it.
The Singaporeans who have a young child and then give birth there (which makes 2) grumble and whine about how difficult it is to take care of 2 kids. But the ang mohs can do it in the same environment, so why can't the Singaporean?
I concluded that we are all molly-coddled in singapore so cannot adapt to make things work.

Then they all go for therapy.
Hv u all seen supernanny? If no help = kids end up like tt. Then i admit i need help, maid, all resources to make sure im able to discipline, nurture, watever u choose to call it. I wanna make sure im there for my kids emotional well being, and not to brush them off when they need me cos im too busy with day to day survival.

Not fair to SG mummies. Did you also factor in the fact that they can choose to be SAHM, while most SG couples have to be dual income cos they are struggling to pay their HDB flats (esp those bought in the last 3 years)?
Also, the ang mo education system is so much more relaxed, they don't really care if the kid can read before P1, and they don't have spelling tests etc in pre-schools. They have almost no homework in Primary schools, so the mummy only needs to worry about their well being. Even then, it is perfectly normal for them to just feed their kids a peanut butter sandwich for lunch, would SG mums do that?
I also have no maid, used to be a PTWM, now FTWM, still no maid. I try to cook dinner 3 weekdays. And hubby travels frequently or have night telecons a few times a week. If not he'll be at home working till wee hours of the night almost everyday. No grandparents help also. I could only go back to FTWM cos my girl is bigger now and more independent. She does help out in the housework.I can tell you, it's very very tough. I only have 1 kid. I cannot imagine having a 2nd one.