how to improve ur child's working memory?

[Nebbermind]

Sometimes I wonder what u parents were like during your school days.


I remember we donch always pay attention in class, especially those at the back of the class…some busy catching up on homework. Some lessons were simply boring and painful.

But the good thing was that we had pretty decent school textbooks then and they didn’t test so much beyond.

Back to topic…were u all so hardworking and focus?!!

[concern2]

slmkhoo:

Unfortunately for my daughter, both my husband and I were pretty model students. We were quite hard on my girl in the early years as we thought she was uncooperative and disobedient, but it didn't gel with what we could see of her overall attitude and personality. It was only as we read up more we realised that we really had a 'special' kid on our hands. Helping her through the years (she's 15yo now) has taught me a lot which I never knew about kids who struggle in school and in life.

Reading your post feels like taking in a breath of fresh air.

[iggy]

slmkhoo:

for such kids, parents and teachers do have to cut them some slack and help them find ways to cope. And they also have to be resigned that these kids cannot be high achievers in school as they are not equipped to cope with a lot of classroom interactions and activities and exams.

Agree that we have to accept them as who they are. Unconditional love.

[casio123]

slmkhoo:

Nebbermind:

Back to topic...were u all so hardworking and focus?!!

Unfortunately for my daughter, both my husband and I were pretty model students. We were quite hard on my girl in the early years as we thought she was uncooperative and disobedient, but it didn't gel with what we could see of her overall attitude and personality. It was only as we read up more we realised that we really had a 'special' kid on our hands. Helping her through the years (she's 15yo now) has taught me a lot which I never knew about kids who struggle in school and in life.

I have two special kids. I only realise it when my DS2 was in P1. Which trigger me to asess my DS1 who were also diagnosed with ADHD. It is very tough. But as time passes I learn to accept it.

[bebe]

slmkhoo:

There are different types of memory too. Your daughter may remember things she learns in a more physical way, but not through hearing, for eg. My daughter remembers what she reads much better than what she hears, so she also has trouble remembering what teachers say. You might want to help her find ways to use the things she does well to remember info delivered by a different mode.


I do agree that many kids are forgetful, inattentive etc and still well within the normal range. I don't know about 24hr-mum's daughter, but mine is out of the normal range, unfortunately. We were told by the educational psychologist that she was unable to give an IQ result because the working memory and processing speed scores were too low compared with other elements in the test.

To give some examples, my daughter has very poor memory for info given verbally. You can ask her to do 2 things, and she will forget one or both within seconds! Carrying on a conversation with her takes a lot of patience (which most people don't have) as you have to wait as long as 5-10 seconds before she replies to each question, and sometimes the reply is \"What did you say?\" She is not rude or purposely inattentive, although we scolded her a lot in earlier years because we didn't realise her problems, but she really can't process or 'hold on' to the info. For such kids, parents and teachers do have to cut them some slack and help them find ways to cope. And they also have to be resigned that these kids cannot be high achievers in school as they are not equipped to cope with a lot of classroom interactions and activities and exams.

Sound like my P4 gal..she has weak auditory processing skills, and has difficulty retaining verbal instruction. If you give her instruction, you have to break them into \"first, do this, 2nd step, do that, 3rd, this...\"..no more than 3 steps..cos she will get all confused and upset (not only her, all of us). Listening compre is her weak area..even though I ask her to listen to radio, she said they speak to fast. She only enjoys the music and songs.

And when come to study, I find that she does better if she literally draws out the info, example, she memorises her Chinese Mo xie by drawing comics to illustrate the scene. For Science, mind mapping helps a bit (but she has no interest in Science..that is another story). The tough part is Maths! If you get her to do a topic repeatedly, she can master it, but if you give her the same problem a few weeks later, she will not be able to handle. Hence, weekly revision is very important, but I have to keep nagging her..and if I do not, she will not revise..hence I hv to scold her daily..Routine is important for her..if you mess up the routine, she gets insecured and upset.

Sometimes I scolded her for being \"irresponsible, lazy, slow, mental block etc\" but I think a part of me is guilty as I do not know what I have not done in her early childhood to \"boast up\" her memory. Would things be different if I had send her to CMA course, those right/left brain training, make sure she eat her omega or scott emulsion, or if I had insisted to breastfeed her longer, or if I had not been stubborn and induced her earlier?? (she was almost 41 weeks and I refused to go for induced labour)

Like concern2, both hubby and I were considered model students (hubby was a late bloomer, but managed to be top scorer for PSLE, O and A level)..getting A and distinction comes naturally to us..and we cannot understand why my gal cannot remember simple 8 or 12 time tables..We had sent her for a dyslexia test screening when she was P2..it was not conclusive but for certain aspects, she shows borderline dyslexic, spoke to her teachers in school and tuition center and we conclude that her processor is slower compared to her peers, and patience (us) + diligence (her) are the keys to do well in school..

Yes, we have resigned to fate that that is her..and not us..she can never be high achiever..so we just do whatever we can, to make sure she do averagely (band 2-3) in school and she can complete her basic education..Her interest lies in drawing and colouring (she is good in copying)...and I told her if she does well in O level, she can go to Poly to pick up any courses of her interest..we will support her..but for now..she still has to study for PSLE and O levels..there is no other ways..

And now SA2 is around the corner..it is such an exasperating time for us in the family...now she is behaving like pre-teens..get moodswing easily and I have a challenging time managing her mood and study... :stupid:

[Imami]

Nebbermind:

Sometimes I wonder what u parents were like during your school days.

I remember we donch always pay attention in class, especially those at the back of the class...some busy catching up on homework. Some lessons were simply boring and painful.
But the good thing was that we had pretty decent school textbooks then and they didn't test so much beyond.
Back to topic...were u all so hardworking and focus?!!

during pri sch time, I played hard and worked the necessary. I paid attention in class and did my homework conscientiously.
During sec sch time, I played hard too. Sec one was a breeze. Sec two recorded my worst performance and attendance. Sec three and four, I was back to my normal form - work the necessary.

[Imami]

slmkhoo:

Nebbermind:

Back to topic...were u all so hardworking and focus?!!

Unfortunately for my daughter, both my husband and I were pretty model students. We were quite hard on my girl in the early years as we thought she was uncooperative and disobedient, but it didn't gel with what we could see of her overall attitude and personality. It was only as we read up more we realised that we really had a 'special' kid on our hands. Helping her through the years (she's 15yo now) has taught me a lot which I never knew about kids who struggle in school and in life.

Oh yes.... I always thought the best teachers are not the best students. My brother was a model student. He worked hard and worked even harder. He never understands why I (and now my nephew and niece) can't grap certain math/science concept. For me, I am never a model student (there us always someone more hardworking, better results etc) but I can emphatise with someone who is lost in transformation, vectors and algorithm.

[Imami]

slmkhoo:

Imami:

[quote=\"slmkhoo\"]
Oh yes.... I always thought the best teachers are not the best students. My brother was a model student. He worked hard and worked even harder. He never understands why I (and now my nephew and niece) can't grap certain math/science concept. For me, I am never a model student (there us always someone more hardworking, better results etc) but I can emphatise with someone who is lost in transformation, vectors and algorithm.

I think it depends more on the teacher's personality than his achievement, although high achievers can often be less understanding to weaker students. Between my husband and myself, he is the much better teacher of Maths even though he topped in Maths all his school life and has a higher degree in Math too. When I find myself losing patience explaining things to my daughter for the nth time, I pass her on to him. He also has a way of seeing where she has reached a mental block and helping her around that which I can't. If he had more time, I would let him do all the Math coaching, but he is too busy to do it daily. I also had an great tutor when I was flunking Maths in JC who was a 1st class hon graduate from a top UK university, and he was really patient and good at explaining Maths to non-math people like me. I clawed my way from an E to an A in 1 year with his help.

[/quote]Yes, I guess you are right - a great teacher is not just good at the subject, he/she should also be able to see where the road block is for a struggling student.

[beanbear]

Understand HOW our child learns is half the battle won. When you have a child who is unlike you especially in where your own strengths are, it’s really hard to empathasize why something that is easy to you is so difficult for your child.


I used to read about multiple intelligences and really just brush aside or just focus on the 3 key ones for Auditory, Visual & Kinesthetic. But when DD showed up so much difficulty in learning (she has ADHD & Dyspraxia) and plus she has a preference for kinesthetic learning, it became especially trying for me since I’m an auditory-visual learning plus my strength is verbal intelligence. DD simply can’t learn anything by you just talking to her. You probably need like at least 4-5 repetitions of explaining before she understands you. If it’s conceptual, lagi worse.

Then I started to observe her more closely and then work with her teachers to tweak their teaching to her. For eg, DD can always remember something better if she sings it. The teacher showed her a rap-song for one of the science topics on gases and she only needs to hear it once, and she remembers. Sometimes it’s not a working memory issue, but how we teach something in way that meets the child’s learning preference.

DD is musically gifted but extremely difficult to teach in the traditional way. If you try tell her to play notes by teaching her explicitly the notes, using terminology like forte, piano, legato etc, she’ll yawn by the 3 min. But if you just play alongside with her, she just "feels" the music and she mimics exactly what you want her to produce. No need to explain. She doesn’t even need to look at the score to remember how to play. Her muscular memory is stronger than her visual memory.

I try to count my blessings. DD has 2 music teachers who are willing to customize their teaching knowing she’s different from other kids. Her first violin teacher was a disaster as she couldn’t customize her teaching to meet DD’s needs and her interest went down and she got more and more frustrated. The teacher just saw DD as non-compliant & difficult. Current violin teacher now realizes he has to talk less and just demonstrate and show DD learns just by mimicking. DD’s current piano teacher also takes my feedback about how having to stop the theory by learning in the usual book format and to help DD by using kinesthetic medium. I was so amazed at how quickly DD just learnt music theory in the last 2 weeks just plonking at the piano after 6 months of struggling through the usual book way.

[verykiasumummy]

slmkhoo:

Beanbear, that's great that you found ways to help your daughter learn. My daughter's way is mostly visual, which is like me, so we didn't have a problem with that. In fact, we tease her that she has an 'elephant memory' when it comes to things that she reads or sees on TV. But that still doesn't help her cope with things like Maths or conversations because her processing speed and working memory are poor. To use a computer analogy, she has a big hard drive but limited RAM and a very slow processor! Every day when I do Maths with her, I can see she understands the concepts, but she takes so long to put the parts together and work things out. Given unlimited time and some interest, she can do it, but with limited time and energy and not much interest in Maths, that is the subject we struggle with most.

give her rewards for her input in maths so as to build up the interest...

just sharing my views...