Recommendation of changes to reduce Stress for PSLE

[ruohoo97]

A child should be taught how to learn before he can do self-learning, as this does not happen in one day.


I feel that our system is way too ambitious, maybe just as other parents had mentioned earlier, the only way to reduce PSLE stress is to set realistic expectation. Don’t teach too much, also don’t expect students to learn too much; but rather, focus on learning skills:- 21st century skill as some call.

Three Rs is basic educational requirement in the USA. Children learn through project work; field trips and drama and arts etc… Best of all, there is no need to take exam in primary level.

[MR06]

Peony:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"Chenonceau\"]The only responsible teacher he had in P5 & 6 taught him his worst subject - Chinese. If I lay back and nicely just follow his teachers' basic teaching in English, Math and Science... he would fail all the three subjects in which he has the highest potential because his exams can be MORE difficult than top school papers. Then for sure, my poor boy would end up with t-score below 200 - which is below his capability.

Same here...the only responsible and really teaching person was his Chinese teacher...she gave the class extra practice for oral and listening. Even the worksheets were good stuff.

Chenonceau, you are lucky not to not have anyone biting your bum when you said your son's teachers are teaching just the basic. Don't mean to insult you or anyone here, but I should have used a nick when I first signed in.

I really felt vindicated this year when DD's P6 teachers kept asking the class \"what did (p5 teacher's name) teach you last year?\"

Even they realised the lack of teaching... Of even some BASIC stuff. They had to work extra hard to make up for the \"loss\". I was more relaxed this year when DD had truly committed teacher that TAUGHT.[/quote]I had my fair share of bad teachers during my school days.....

If anyone says I am on the ball or hands-on, I credit it to my experience with these lousy teachers who had wasted the time of xx no. of classes x xx no. of students per class x xx no. of years in their career as teachers!

I have no respect for them, they did not discharge their responsibilities by teaching the subjects they were assigned neither had they taught the class any values to help us become a better person.

Can you imagine 2 out of these, just read from the text book or asked students to read from the text book, with hardly any explanation. Gave out assignment, marked, periodically went on MCs or leave. Before you knew it, it was the end of the school year.

[Peony]

ruohoo97:

A child should be taught how to learn before he can do self-learning, as this does not happen in one day.


I feel that our system is way too ambitious, maybe just as other parents had mentioned earlier, the only way to reduce PSLE stress is to set realistic expectation. Don't teach too much, also don't expect students to learn too much; but rather, focus on learning skills:- 21st century skill as some call.

Three Rs is basic educational requirement in the USA. Children learn through project work; field trips and drama and arts etc... Best of all, there is no need to take exam in primary level.

:goodpost:

Yes! Teach to fish so they can fish. When just throw to deep end, survival of the fittest, yes... But then how many drown?

[Chenonceau]

Peony:

ruohoo97:

A child should be taught how to learn before he can do self-learning, as this does not happen in one day.


I feel that our system is way too ambitious, maybe just as other parents had mentioned earlier, the only way to reduce PSLE stress is to set realistic expectation. Don't teach too much, also don't expect students to learn too much; but rather, focus on learning skills:- 21st century skill as some call.

Three Rs is basic educational requirement in the USA. Children learn through project work; field trips and drama and arts etc... Best of all, there is no need to take exam in primary level.

:goodpost:

Yes! Teach to fish so they can fish. When just throw to deep end, survival of the fittest, yes... But then how many drown?

:goodpost:

[Glade]

Agreed that PSLE are getting tougher and tougher…esp the maths is the killer of all killer!

[janet88]

Glade:

Agreed that PSLE are getting tougher and tougher....esp the maths is the killer of all killer!

Maths has always been a killer, but the other subjects are not guaranteed.
Son is weak in the topic of Speed...so I told him to do his best if he encountered that...do not spend too much time on each question...we have gone through the drills for so long. He has 2 timers on his table. TIME MANAGEMENT is vital.

[ruohoo97]

tutormum:

DKWhy:

Sec schools, esp Sec 1, are definitely tougher than primary school coz of additional and some more ‘alien’ subjects (history, geography, etc). It is common to see average marks hover around 60s and 70s and for those who just manage to ‘squeeze’ themselves into super schools via extensive and if-never-give-will-die coaching, around 50s if these kids’ coaching is removed.


It is also therefore NOT THE TRUTH to say that sec school will be less ‘stressful’ than PSLE. They are just different.

But kids who have mastered enough self learning skills in their early years will not suffer so much in sec schools coz chances are they will have the ‘inbuilt mechanism’ akin to ‘survival instinct’ to auto learn to adjust, adapt and survive within manageable stress. This ability comes from those chances that were given to them by not-so-KC and not-so-KS parents when they were allowed to learn to swim on own. This natural innate ability either can be built slowly or can also be taken away slowly by their very own parents during their early years.

For those kids who have been hand-held for so long, there is a high chance that they need to be handheld further into sec schools and maybe into JC and perhaps into their uni years as this may seem to be the only way that they KNOW they can float. It is a ‘pattern’, a learnt sense of helplessness that they are so used to that if removing the tuition, they may TANK!

So parents you do have a choice to be KC and KS ttm / face green green or choose to be concerned-enough parents who give only adequate support (never over support) for your children to discover their own path / way. Emphasising here is adequate support when the family and kids still can have a good balanced life that can be fun and fulfilling and not over-support till straining almost everyone.

Real butterflies emerge themselves with their own efforts from their cocoons. Those who are forced to be butterflies will end up in no where.

Sow the seeds and reap your own returns.

I hope more not-so-KC and not-so-KS parents can lend your voices to balance this forum, else it fits the saying of “Three People then Tiger Becomes Real” (I can’t type Chinese). I can read some KC parents fanning some of the KS parents and then all sing together in ‘harmony’. Do new parents a favour to support the motion of primary school education indeed doesn’t need to be so stressful for the family and the children and that it is really manageable.

Sometimes ignorance is a bliss. Cannot imagine highly educated people ‘scared’ of primary school education to the extent of not willing to have kid / more kids when it is just so a tiny part of a child long journey in this wonderful life. New inexperienced parents must be ‘frightened’ by such reading!

:goodpost: :goodpost: :goodpost:

I certainly agree with above view as I have learnt it hard-way myself. My DS1 was very much \"pampered\" and \"assisted\" in many aspects of his life, Being a first-born with a first-time parents is certainly not a bliss. I remembered well how my DH and I rushed him to hospital with every fever above 38c and I fretted over why he didn't like to eat this or that....He was provided with much love and care, ...., too much for his own good, now I reckon.

He did survive through PSLE but not without me sitting beside him, studying with him for four months. it was nightmare, I tell you, I know it was my own fault.

So with determination, I don't HELP my other children to do things they should do:- to make their own bed, to clean up their own mess, to pack their own school bag, to get ready for their exams....especially, to study for themselves. If they have questions in their studies, I will help them to solve problems; I do remind them the exam schedules, but how they plan to study is up to them.

DD2 just finished her PSLE this year, I was so much less stressed and happier person. That is so true the stress of PSLE or any other kind can be self-induced. We, parents, must be aware of the higher purpose of children's education, not just for PSLE, O, A level, but to develop their character, to equip them with life skills and to instill positive attitude to whatever happens in life.

So may God give us wisdom to be a better parent each day.

[linden2000]

DKWhy, you may not agree with Janet - different strokes for different folks… But your post borders on a personal attack, is hurtful and is totally uncalled for.


Though this forum is called a KS forum, the group of 2012 PSLE parents have actually been giving moral support to each other throughout the whole of this year and many of them selflessly sharing their tips and experiences.

[ChiefKiasu]

Moderator's note:


Gentle reminder to parents to focus on the topic. Avoid name calling or insults that could hurt other individuals or groups of people. Repeated rudeness will only earn you a permanent ban.

Thank you.

[Laura02]

An excerpt from the Huffington Post. By Sandra DuPont. Effectively parenting teens : leading by example. URL : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sandra-dupont/parenting-teens_b_1959383.html?utm_hp_ref=parents-teens


Here are some thoughts why teens and parents have difficulty navigating the teen years, and suggestions for a more graceful passage:

1. Teens feel conditionally loved: \"I'm OK only if I live up to your expectations.\"
2. Parents don't allow teens to learn from failure, an excellent motivator.
3. Teens don't learn time management skills simply through the creation of \"daily routine\" charts.
4. Parents gift their children too many things and then wonder why teens are not only unappreciative, they also want more.
5. Teens don't learn problem-solving skills when parents lecture them.
6. Parents don't always know how to calmly and simply say, \"I love you, and the answer is no.\"
7. Refrain from thinking that in order to make teens do better, you first have to make them feel worse. Instead, be kind and firm while holding them accountable.
8. Parents too often tell their teen what to do rather than inviting them to brainstorm solutions that that will work for everyone.
9. Parents expect teens to \"remember to do their chores\" as though it were an indicator of responsibility. Yet not all responsible adults were responsible teens.
10. Parents are often more interested in short-term results than long-term results. For example: I'll force you to do your homework now even if it means you will not do your best because you are rebelling.
11. Parents nag, which invites resistance. Instead, allow teens to explore for themselves the relevance of what you want them to do.

During the teen years, it is vital that parents understand their teen's behavior rather than merely react to it. Being a \"drill sergeant\" or a \"helicopter parent\" gives teens the message that you don't trust them to do things on their own and undermines their self-esteem, which prevents them from developing confidence in their own abilities. Successfully navigating this phase of life involves setting boundaries and enforcing consequences without becoming punitive, angry, or judgmental. Respectful parenting means being able to see the frustrations teens encounter when pushing against imposed boundaries as opportunities for them to exercise self-control, self-respect and respect for others.

It has be said that: \"While not all teachers are parents, all parents are teachers.\" Good character traits like empathy and respect are teachable skills that must be learned at home and at school. When we teach children to be good people we help create a world that is safer, kinder and more equitable.