Club SAHM
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blurqueen:
*Crash*. There goes my hope of some personal me time (and more personal $$) from next year. But you are saying this will be the case for the next 10 years ...
Spoke to many BTDT (been there done that) parents, they'll tell me that even in Sec sch, the kids need us to be around at least few hours in the day after they're back from school. No parent at home means they've no control and too much freedom, then juvenile issues starts.
The other day, I met a mum who quit her job to be full time driver to her son. Seems there are a lot of school bullies on the bus and that's where a lot of bad words, ideas etc can be picked up. Eventually, the kids will learn it anyway, but later rather than sooner cos hopefully, they'll be less vulnerable. She said her 9yo kid heard so much sexual innuendo etc, and she's so glad that she's at home for him to talk to and seek guidance from, rather than let him stew over it at home alone and then maybe decide not to say anything to her later, if she had her working hours. -
Let’s give mental support to one another. We’ve to tell ourselves that our sacrifice is definitely worthwhile.
I enjoy the chit-chatting with my DS when he comes home everyday from school. Things are still fresh in his mind so he’d be able to relate alot of things that happened in schhool. A FTWM-friend told me that when she tried to talk to her child at night when she’s back from work, the child’s response would be "I forgot", "nothing special", "let me do my reading", or "I am tired"…
Alot of things would go unnoticed if we do not react in time. I was once watching over him at his shower when I heard him exclaiming "F***" as he dropped his shampoo bottle. I was silent for a while and asked what he had just said, and he repeated innocently. After chatting with him, I found out that he just heard a boy using it in the school bus. I knew this day would come so I was glad that I had noted it early and addressed it asap. We talked and discussed about it and he understood the full implication behind the use of this word. Glad this moment came as it’s a matter of time. -
Blobbi
I heard from other moms too that although the bus journey is short, they can really pick up so many bad things! This is esp so since the bus rides comprises of senior kids too.
My P1 son could come home with sexual talk picked up from classmates too although he has no clue what he’s saying. Am glad I’m always close by to correct his thoughts!
I miss the personal $ part on being a SAHM. Find it hard to ask hub for $ to indulge on myself. I feel I need to justify my expenses since I’m not the one earning those dollars. The sacrifice we moms go through, I wonder would our kids appreciate it? -
blurqueen:
Hi Blobbi, blurqueen,Blobbi
I miss the personal $ part on being a SAHM. Find it hard to ask hub for $ to indulge on myself. I feel I need to justify my expenses since I'm not the one earning those dollars. The sacrifice we moms go through, I wonder would our kids appreciate it?
Sorry to butt in.
Am a SAHM too. Hve been since the past 3 yrs since I got pregnant wif DS who is a toddler now. It is v likely that I will remain one for a long long time....
Blurqueen, you echoed my sentiments. I also feel the same way asking him for $$. At the moment though, I am supplementing my allowance from DH by giving tuition - but I can only take in one class, thats all and its only a temporary stint cuz due to past circumstances, if and when I do get pregnant again, I will have to cease what I am doing. My DH constantly wonders aloud why I have to do this .... but its kind of hard to make him understand the thrill of being financially independent, even if its a few hundred dollars, as I've been that way since my late teens.
But you know what, take heart - I am sure our sacrifices will bear fruition. I have seen that in my MIL's case. Until today, they are still her '3 boys' to her, and they also indulge in her 'mothering' even though they have been married for some yrs already :love:
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Not at all, autumnbronze. Tks for reminding us we’re doing this for our kids’ future. It’s so heartening to visualize a close and warm relationship with our kids when they’re older.
I’m not a true blue SAHM - have been working to supplement, because there is this joy of going for an occasional spa or buying books and toys for my son that I find hard to justify to my husband. Like a lot of you, I’m too used to earning my own keep from an early age, so it doesn’t feel good to stretch out my hand to ask, sigh.
When I look back I’m sure I made the right decision to quit full time. The time spent with my son is so precious and wonderful - I’m smiling as I type this now. Working part time during the school term is fine, but during school holidays like now, it gets harder because I have to leave him at home in the morning. Tk goodness I’m free from this coming week, hurray!
So I’m considering what I should do next year. I have a more permanent, better paying part time job (the sort that threatens to become full time because of the nature of the job) lined up, but I’m wondering if I’ve bitten more than I can chew, since my son starts P1 next year. I’ll probably delay till we’re settled into the new routine. Yes, there are priorities, sigh. -
blurqueen:
Our kids are of the same agei've 'temporary retired' from work soon after I got married for about 11 years now although my kids didn't come till much later (not our choice but God's).
I miss working so much but with 2 boys on separate sessions, P2 and K2 next year, I simply can't find the time to do anything
however, i do try to sneak 1-2hr of self time when i've to wait for kids during their enrichment classes.
I intentionally place them in separate session so that I can spend individual time with them. Not much me time, I have to bring dd2 along for facial
Kids at this age are nice companions though. We can do lots of things together, movies, shopping, run errands, extra hands to carry grocery bags
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autumnbronze:
Blurqueen, you echoed my sentiments. I also feel the same way asking him for $$. At the moment though, I am supplementing my allowance from DH by giving tuition - but I can only take in one class, thats all and its only a temporary stint cuz due to past circumstances, if and when I do get pregnant again, I will have to cease what I am doing.blurqueen:
Blobbi
I miss the personal $ part on being a SAHM. Find it hard to ask hub for $ to indulge on myself. I feel I need to justify my expenses since I'm not the one earning those dollars. The sacrifice we moms go through, I wonder would our kids appreciate it?Blobbi:
I'm not a true blue SAHM - have been working to supplement, because there is this joy of going for an occasional spa or buying books and toys for my son that I find hard to justify to my husband. Like a lot of you, I'm too used to earning my own keep from an early age, so it doesn't feel good to stretch out my hand to ask, sigh.
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I must be the most 理直气壮 housewife then. No guilt in spending DH's money
I guess I already way exceeded his expectations by staying home so 'anything also can' as long as I continue to stay home
However, DH knows very well that I'm a thrifty person. So no worries about me spending. More of justifying that purchase to myself rather than him -
Sleepy,
Actually my kids are 2002 and 2003.
DS2003 was due 2004 but decided to pop 2 months early As if being borned premie is not bad enough, he has to be a year end baby.
DS2003 has loads of issues, not sure if it's a result of being borned premature. As such, we're keeping him back 1 more year to let him mature and nurture his independence and learning abilities. Am glad we get more time to also work with his therapies which takes up at least 3 days a week.
Am also glad they're going to be in sep sessions so I get to spend 1-1 time with them till they finally \"meet\" in school when DS2003 is in P3. No fun trying to make them study together as they always give help to each other! they also fight too much when put together. haha pros and cons i guess. -
SAHM wannabe here. Can I find out from more experienced SAHP if I should have a timetable everyday for DS who is 5? Can share wif me how you spend weekdays wif ur children?
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Happymoon:
SAHM wannabe here. Can I find out from more experienced SAHP if I should have a timetable everyday for DS who is 5? Can share wif me how you spend weekdays wif ur children?
Personally, I think at the age of 5, just let your DS enjoy and play at his own free time.
Timetable can wait till he is older, like P1.
I did that for both my children.
Don't wanna deprive them of their childhood.
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