All About Full-Time Maids

[autumnbronze]

DesertWind:

Hi autumnbronze,

Hi DesertWind!

Thanks for responding :hugs:


I read your previous post and my brain must be very blocked because I can't seem to understand the problem. For eg. your maid has worked here for 3 years, so she would have her own savings no? Perhaps that explain why she got money to take a cab. I would think this maid knows her way and transport system very well by now in Singapore.
Apparently, no. According to her, she sent all her money back before moving in with us. She is a divorcee with a 13 year old DD.

Secondly, you mentioned there was a Western Union funds transfer FROM Saudi Arabia to your maid from a man? Are you saying she was a ex-Saudi maid? How to moonlight if she already working in SG for 3 years....?

I catch no ball leh!
The WU fund receipt was addressed to another name, seems like a local Malay name. I assume it's her ex-employer's name. To my knowledge, she has only worked in Singapore. With your question, you have given me something to look at now. And yes, the funds were transferred from SA.


Anyway, I will suggest just talking to her casually and neutrally with the aim of trying to understand her source of funds, does she save a lot, how much she has now, does she remit funds often to her family, what are her goals in life, does she intend to build her house etc. Also just chit chat ask her
how's her off days like, who she goes with and what they usually do? See how she respond la.... If you ask me, if she got 2 days off, not likely she
will moonlight because I think maid really wants a break.


Perhaps the SGD200 was an ang pow given by her ex-employer during
open-house. Perhaps she did help somewhat to clean up since the open house would have many guests? Anyway perhaps can just take it as an
one-off event and forget about it.

Yes, that is another way to look at it too.

One positive thing I can see is at least your maid is on good terms with her
ex-employer, which is a good thing. However, why she only work one year with her prior employer? Usually contract 2 years right? Why she transfer?

She worked for a year cuz she mentioned that she couldn't tolerate shuttling back and forth everyday to two locations with two kids. The employers will send her to their parents house early in the morning,
then pick them up after work, have their dinner out, plus shop/window shop almost everyday, only returning home 10 or 11 plus. On top of that she had to tidy up their home that late. The kids slept late too. She was constantly
tired.

Actually your this maid sounds quite good so I agree not to be too hasty to
change as yet.

Thank you for your understanding. I know I can always count on you for that

[autumnbronze]

peapot:

Autumn, I can only think of 2 reasons. First, the money was sent to ex-employer. So this means it's someone the employer knew. Family member of ex-employer perhaps who want to reward her for doing her job well? Secondly, could be maid's boyfriend or husband who is working in Saudi. If its really one of these 2 reasons then nothing to worry because boyfriend or husband too far away to make her pregnant unless he decides to make a trip to S'pore.


And if you were able to find the western union receipt easily also means she has nothing to hide. An experienced maid will know how to hide things from you if they choose to. Personally I wouldn't be too concern over this unless she has not been doing her job. But then again that would be a totally different story altogether. Since she has been following yr instructions and taking care of yr toddler well (unlike mine) then you do not need to be alarmed. But I must say she is pretty close to this ex-employer(Muslim).

Thank you peapot. Your response is comforting :hugs:

Yes, you are right about hiding things if she really wanted to.

Like I mentioned, I am new to this sort of experience, therefore have sought advice here. Am glad that I did.

[weatherbee]

autumnbronze:

peapot:

Autumn, I can only think of 2 reasons. First, the money was sent to ex-employer. So this means it's someone the employer knew. Family member of ex-employer perhaps who want to reward her for doing her job well? Secondly, could be maid's boyfriend or husband who is working in Saudi. If its really one of these 2 reasons then nothing to worry because boyfriend or husband too far away to make her pregnant unless he decides to make a trip to S'pore.


And if you were able to find the western union receipt easily also means she has nothing to hide. An experienced maid will know how to hide things from you if they choose to. Personally I wouldn't be too concern over this unless she has not been doing her job. But then again that would be a totally different story altogether. Since she has been following yr instructions and taking care of yr toddler well (unlike mine) then you do not need to be alarmed. But I must say she is pretty close to this ex-employer(Muslim).

Thank you peapot. Your response is comforting :hugs:

Yes, you are right about hiding things if she really wanted to.

Like I mentioned, I am new to this sort of experience, therefore have sought advice here. Am glad that I did.

I also catch no ball. So the receipt was in her ex-employer's name and the fund was transferred from Saudi. Then why was the receipt with her?

[panickymum]

peapot:

Sigh!! I m trying tolerate my current maid. She tell her previous employer that she is very tired but everyday 2.30pm she is very free. She prepares dinner at 3.30pm?? Who the hell will prepare so early? Reason being she too free, paisei because I m on leave at home, pretend to do something. So now the previous employer feel so heartache for her. Good grief!! Sometimes I wonder the previous employer is the mother or what?!! That's why it is not a good idea if previous employer keep close in contact with the maid and choose to side her.


The employer even know her daily routine and what we eat for breakfast!!! I got abit pissed like the maid is the spy or something. Feel like changing her but once I called the agency and heard about the amount of money I have to pay, I withdraw my application. Aiyo, headache!

Are you sure what your maid tells you is from her previous employer ? Then why she wants to leave her sweet caring boss and come to you . Sometimes they just say to make you feel bad and they can laze around

Does your agency allow changing within a year ? Then why must you pay ?

[Funz]

autumnbronze:

My current maid is a transfer maid.


She has worked here for about 3 years.

Currently, she will not be paid until the 3rd month is up. She is given 2 days off a month.

Last weekend, she mentioned that she was going to her ex-employer's (a Muslim) house as she was holding an open house. She was exceptionally happy that day.

After she returned, I discovered she had a Western Union receipt under I assume, the ex-employer's name. A money transfer was made from Saudi Arabia, about $200. The sender was a male. My maid was holding that amount. She had also taken a taxi back on her off day, after calling me and
telling me that there was a train disruption in Paya Lebar.

I would like to approach her and talk to her about her expenses on her off days, on the pretext of offering some pocket money, as the basis of establishing where and why she is getting her 'extra money' from. I have to find ways of finding out via cross examination. However, I would appreciate
it if experienced members can enlighten me, based on assumptions, behind
the fact that she is having the money. This is the first time I am facing such a situation cuz my 1st maid was a gem. The 2nd one was a nightmare. I sent her back after 6 months. Both did not have off days, hence there were no issues with expenses.

Please don't tell me that she cannot be trusted etc..... I have learnt that I
have to manage my expectations of my maid. I do not have any major complaints about her. She takes care of the toddler well and does a good job of cleaning. So I would refrain from changing my maid unless there
warrants a concrete and plausible reason.

AB, no need to find excuses. Be up front and tell her yours is new working relationship and you are just puzzled about the WU receipt.

It is not a bad thing that she has a good relationship with her ex-employer. That goes to show she is not that bad a worker. The maid who looked after my granma still visits my aunt on her off days. I gather you did not get a character reference from her ex-employer and thus do not have their contact. If in your shoes, I will ask her to call her ex-employer for me to speak to them and get their contacts personally.

My maid gets off days too. So long as she is back by 9pm and all appears normal, I don't want to speculate too much as to how she spends her off days.

[straffan23]

Autumnbronze: This is super chim liao... I catch no ball also! :oops: :oops: My maid has very good relationship with her ex-employer too. I always think that maybe one day she will be asked to go back and work for them. However, in the meantime, I just tell myself - better good than bad, right? I mean, she did take care of the kid from newborn till 3 years old.


Here's another possibility: The WU receipt might have nothing to do with her whatsoever. Just someone asking for something to be passed to another person. Between maids, surely they do this all the time? If you have seen the WU receipt in a rather \"open\" place, you could just casually mention it and ask her what is it about? Maybe I am being ignorrant... I never once checked on my maid - not her handphone, not her room, not her bag! I used to live with my boss, too - he said, always innocent until proven guilty - if he feels there's a need to go through my things, then he should ask me to move out altogether?

[autumnbronze]

Hi Straffan23,


Thanks for responding

Think you have misunderstood my intention. Aiya, there is nothing chim about my post. I have clarified all questions already.

If I thought my helper was guilty at all, I wouldn't be posting and seeking advice. I never indicated that I went through my helper's belongings. And anyway, I know there are employers who do, just to keep abreast of what is going on, cuz they feel that they can never get a complete picture of what is happening in their maid's lives. So be it. That is their prerogative. And yes, both you and Funz are right, it is a good thing that she is in touch with her ex-employers. She has quite a good work track record. I mentioned that earlier on.


Asking them outright does not yield the so called desired answer that you
are looking for. They are known to lie. I am ok with petty lies. We are guilty of that too, sometimes. Like I mentioned before, I have learnt to
manage my expectations with regards to maid issues. And this maid is as good as it gets. We don't have a habit of changing maids just like that. We
tend to talk it out, if need be, counsel them too. Thats how tolerant we are.

My first maid was a gem. She was with us for 4 years. But, during her 3rd year with us, after she met up with her \"aunt\", she changed, she became more, how should I put it, street smart maybe? Petty lies, using the hp until
late at night etc ... That said, we still renewed her contract for one more year cuz we saw the 'bigger picture'. She never gave us any problems and was trustworthy when it came to handling my kiddos. I am just sharing my experience. That is why I have to resort using the 'cross examination, by the way method' of questioning my helpers. So far this method has worked
for me. But then again, to each his own lah.

I am just worried cuz I know what I went through the past 6 months with my nightmarish 2nd maid. It was only after repeated attempts to counsel her failed that we sent her packing back to Indo. She just couldn't keep to her word. I don't want a repeat of this. And because I have absolutely no experience with maids having off days and what they do then, hence my post here.

Anyway, some of the members like Funz and peapot have really allayed my concerns and steered me in the right direction, without being judgmental. In fact, you have made a point pertaining to the WU receipt that has given me another food for thought, and I appreciate that. Thank you. :hugs:

[autumnbronze]

Funz:

AB, no need to find excuses. Be up front and tell her yours is new working relationship and you are just puzzled about the WU receipt.

It is not a bad thing that she has a good relationship with her ex-employer. That goes to show she is not that bad a worker. The maid who looked after my granma still visits my aunt on her off days. I gather you did not get a character reference from her ex-employer and thus do not have their contact. If in your shoes, I will ask her to call her ex-employer for me to speak to them and get their contacts personally.

My maid gets off days too. So long as she is back by 9pm and all appears normal, I don't want to speculate too much as to how she spends her off days.

Thanks Funz, for the sound advice. Appreciate it :hugs:

[bluebellas]

autumnbronze


Interestingly, my first maid also "changed" after meeting her "aunt" and started making demands…

[autumnbronze]

bluebellas:

autumnbronze


Interestingly, my first maid also \"changed\" after meeting her \"aunt\" and started making demands...

Hi bluebellas,

It was fortunate that the 1st maid only picked up those habits. She was never demanding. Because she started work with us way before she met her \"aunt\", she had already established a relationship with us and was like family, in a way.

The irony is that on the way to the airport, when I asked her if she was going to continue to be active on fbk, she admitted that it is very expensive to surf the Internet in Indo, so very unlikely.