HOW TO MOTIVATE MY GIRL TO PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN HER STUDIES

[Melodies]

Thank you for taking time to put all together!

I'm :yikes: to read the highlighted part. :nailbite: :imconstipated:
船到桥头自然直！

Chenonceau:

Focus on Info Search Skills
In P3, he kept asking me obscure Science stuff he picked up from I dunno where. I taught him how to google... then I just made time to listen to him teach me without yawning too much.

Info search skills can be broken up into the following sub-skills...
(1) Keyword search
(2) Fact triangulation
(3) Source reliability

I started DS on keyword search. I gave some guidelines such as (a) always add the words \"kids' science\" to prevent all the cheem research papers from surfacing in the search (b) brainstorm synonyms. I gave positive examples by proposing a variety of keywords and then let him search... very naturally, he began to propose his own keywords and I endorsed them. Not long after, he could search without guidance.

Of course, some searches threw up porn and stuff... but well, there is no privacy in this family. No door is locked, not even mine... and in the beginning, I was around during his searches and whenever we came across objectionable material, it was an opportunity to view it and talk about our values.

After that, I introduced the notion of competing hypothesis and just because one site documents a fact to be true doesn't mean it is. I encouraged him to search for opposing views to see if he could find them. We discussed the contradictions and this gave me the opportunity to introduce reliable sources VS unreliable sources... first hand accounts... experimental results... rigour of the experiment... research rigor... 2nd hand accounts. Before we visited the Pompeii Exhibition at The Art Science Museum, he did some pre-reading on Pompeii. We discussed the writings of Josephus and he learnt that the Josephus account of Masada and Pompeii had to be taken with a pinch of salt because they weren't first hand accounts.

I taught him to triangulate \"findings\". If a single perspective documents it, it may not be true. If 2 \"opposing\" perspectives document it then it is more likely true. Let me give an example. If PARENTS (who view tuition negatively) assert that teachers have no time to mark homework, it is possible that parents have too high expectations of teachers. However, if one can find a documented perspective of the PRIVATE TUTOR who argues that parents should view tuition positively because tutors do the important job of marking homework that teachers have no time to mark, then the notion that teachers have no time to mark homework is corroborated by 2 opposing perspectives.

This makes for greater reliability and one can be more confident that in effect, teachers in our primary schools sometimes give homework that they have no time to mark.

Now... IF a teacher writes into The Straits Times and complains that admin load eats up so much time that he/she has little time to teach and mark homework, then we can be even more confident that teachers have no time to mark homework because we have triangulation (i.e., 3 perspectives corroborate a single fact).

Triangulation is a critical skill for self-learning because not everything you google is true. It is also a good life skill. I designed and built an entire house by myself from foundation up and I could not have known how to do it if I didn't know how to triangulate the perspectives of internet, BCA regulations, architect perspective, structural engineer perspective, contractor perspective. If only the contractor says something is true, he is lying. If only the architect says something is true, he is also lying. In this way, I was able to see my way through the dark and murky paths in the process of house construction.

In other words, hear from as many perspectives as possible before you decide. Teaching DS how to triangulate meant that he could independently google Science material without me having to learn his syllabus. I taught him how to learn... I didn't have to learn it and then teach him.'

I taught him about source reliability too. If it's Wiki, hmmmm... maybe OK (for primary school). If it's anything other than Wiki... well errrr... alarm bells should ring. If it is a dedicated Kids' Science website, good.... but if it's someone's blog then better check out that person's credentials or triangulate.

Lastly, learning to synthesize opposing perspectives, see communalities and reconcile differences is another critical thinking skill... which thankfully, PSLE 2012 has not yet thought of testing. But ummmm... I can see it already in 2015's English PSLE format.

To be cont'd....

[Chenonceau]

This is probably the stupidest post I can ever write since after reading this, fewer people will buy Petunia's Book but I am too happy to care!! Whilst waiting for the dry cleaner to finish lunch, I went and checked out Petunia's Book in the library upstairs.


EVERY SINGLE copy has either been borrowed OR reserved OR transit to reservation. I am sooooooooooo happy. Sooooooooo happy! Soooooooo happy!


http://i45.tinypic.com/30u4vp3.jpg\">

[Nebbermind]

Happy for you too!! :imcool:

[Sun_2010]

Chenonceau:

This is probably the stupidest post I can ever write since after reading this, fewer people will buy Petunia's Book but I am too happy to care!! Whilst waiting for the dry cleaner to finish lunch, I went and checked out Petunia's Book in the library upstairs.


EVERY SINGLE copy has either been borrowed OR reserved OR transit to reservation. I am sooooooooooo happy. Sooooooooo happy! Soooooooo happy!

:snuggles: So happy for you. the book is worth it.

Let me share that DD read your book before I could finish it.
And she often show her superiority by giving me advise on how to handle DS and how i am doing it wrong and quotes you to prove that she is right like always. :faint:

I, being the adult, camly thank her tell her how she should keep her advise to herself and implement it on her kids and let me handle mine . :spank:

Also wanted to say that I have also grown to love the illustrations, at first they were like nice, but the more I saw them as I read , the more they seem alive.

Wonderful book!

[schweppes]

:congrats: Chen, very happy for you!! :salute:

[Chenonceau]

Nebbermind:

Happy for you too!! :imcool:

Nebbermind... thank you. I really really really appreciate this short note from you to share in my joy.

The joy I felt when the screen first appeared was indescribable. I felt happier than on my wedding day ... I guess I did not expect the NLB search results to look like that. I had quite forgotten that the NLB search results report Book Status too.

I actually went and grabbed a hapless librarian and then I jumped up and down... and squealed at her. She thought I was quite mad at first and then... bless her kind soul... she squealed with me and she went and got her librarian friends to squeal with us. We must have looked very stupid in the library.

Unfortunately errrr... as expected... book orders went down sharply yesterday. Sob! :moneyflies: :moneyflies: :moneyflies:

[Nebbermind]

Must also motivate you mah!!


But really...u so drama one har!!!

[zebrafish]

Hi Chen


I enjoyed reading your book. Very pleasant reading.

I'm now trying to implement some of the strategies on my DD and hope that it is not too late as she is in P4 this year.

Will reread the book again to get a better feel of the strategies. Thank you!! :thankyou:

[Chenonceau]

schweppes:

:congrats: Chen, very happy for you!! :salute:

Schweppes... you were one of the first to give encouragement at a time when everything seemed so uncertain and all I could do was pray hard and hope that what I had created with my hands and head was acceptable to God... and pleasing in His eyes.

An Impossible Prayer
In March of 2010... I was driving when the urge came upon me to make a prayer that I thought incredibly stupid at that time. This was my prayer \"God... use me to change education in Singapore.\" After praying, I shook my head incredulously and said... \"Hahaha! If ever there is an impossible prayer THAT is an impossible prayer. I am a nobody. If this happens, it cannot be me. It has to be God and God alone.\"

I can tell you that I am the MOST politically apathetic person I know. When I first met Mr Tan Chuan-Jin, I didn't recognise him. I much prefer to donate money than give time. But somehow, I had no peace for months and months and months. Friends, family and netizens became displeased with me but somehow I couldn't stop. People close to me said \"If you wanna do good, go and give tuition... give time to the disadvantaged. You won't achieve anything by engaging MOE at its very top because you're a nobody and they won't take you seriously. So stop complaining. We can each do our own small part to make things better.\"

In September 2012, MOE announced game-changing initiatives and Petunia's Book was on the market. MOE decided that it would henceforth dial down its own contribution to national kiasu-ism. Petunia's Book was written to improve the quality of life for kids. Somehow, I later discovered that it also dialed down parent kiasu-ism by giving them strategies that ...
(1) required emotional discipline to carry out
(2) empowered parents... thus reducing parental stress
With these 2 prongs (less kiasu MOE and less kiasu parents), I hope that our nation will gradually stop stressing our children. I am hopeful.

God's Hand Not Mine
I know this post sounds like I am boasting about my own achievements but I am not. I do not believe that MOE announced changes because of what I did/wrote... but I do believe that God's hand marshalled a groundswell of feedback, and my voice was just part of a larger divine strategy. Neither did I intend Petunia's Book to dial down parent kiasu-ism at the same time as when MOE decided to refrain from contributing to national kiasu-ism. I just happen to know Human Motivation... and God used that part of me mightily as part of His larger plan. God has a purpose for all of us... and he gives us all our talents and specific life experiences for a purpose he intended for us. I didn't enjoy his purpose for me very much though. It wasn't fun to read snide remarks about me on forums... get hate mail... get laughed at by friends and relatives.

Nonetheless, in the past 2 years, I have met veritable prayer warriors. People who organised others into prayer teams and held prayer marathons. Countless people prayed for me and for education. We spoke hopefully of 5 loaves to feed a nation but sometimes, alone and awake in the dark, I despaired and cried tears into my pillow for the present and future of our nation's children. So many times I wished to give up but God would not let me.

Jonah
At one point, I angrily told God \"All this is none of my business. We can leave this country to go to another where people are kinder... where children are not exposed to cut throat competition from a young age... where people take time to cherish their children instead of require ever higher academic performance from them. We can leave. Please God, find someone else to do your work.\"

I threw down the burden He laid upon me and felt happy and carefree for like 12 hours.

12 hours later, on my morning jog the next day, I ran into Gerald Giam (quite literally RAN into him) who proposed to meet up to discuss issues of education. At this point, I began to feel like Jonah. I couldn't run away from what God had laid upon my life unless I wanted to be swallowed by a whale. Today, I still wonder why he chose Mrs Politically Apathetic. Today, I have no idea from where I got the persistence. I love to start things. I am not good at completing them especially when things look hopeless. I am an imminently logical person. It certainly was not logical to persist. But somehow, I stayed the course

The book too was difficult to write. It was even more difficult to sell because it is a self-published book. I had many marketing ideas but none worked out. There were obstacles everywhere I turned. In the end, I fell back on prayer and did NOTHING. It was then that things began to happen to Petunia's Book. A friend gave me a mailing list she used to reach out to kindergartens and I have not used it at all. I did nothing but pray. Once, on a challenge... I prayed for 10 books to be sold on a weekend. For some reason, book orders don't come in on weekends. I guess most people surf the internet at work? That one weekend, we had exactly 10 book orders... no more and no less.

These happenings defy the logic.

Interpret My Post From the Context of Your Own Faith
I know that there are people of other faiths reading this. I don't wish to be insensitive. Just try and understand this post in the context of your own religion and distill the spirit of my sharing.

[Chenonceau]

zebrafish:

Hi Chen


I enjoyed reading your book. Very pleasant reading.

I'm now trying to implement some of the strategies on my DD and hope that it is not too late as she is in P4 this year.

Will reread the book again to get a better feel of the strategies. Thank you!! :thankyou:

Hi zebrafish... I am happy you enjoyed the book. It is never too late to start something good. However, many parenting habits are ingrained and habitual. Many people read the book and understand. The book is easy to understand. Primary school children read from cover to cover and understand.

However, from understanding to actual parental behavioral change is a large leap. Very large. Especially for adults because we are set in our ways and mindsets. Parents WILL back slide... unless they read the book again... and again... to remind themselves. You have to remind yourself and be very conscious for a rather long while before you can form the practices into new habits.

11 strategies can take some people half a lifetime to master. I suggest that you work on chapter by chapter in the following loop....

Focus on ONE chapter each week (i.e., ONE strategy)
(1) Read and understand
(2) Reflect upon your past behaviors
(3) On a daily basis at night, reflect upon your words and actions for THAT day in relation to that single chapter and only that chapter

After 11 weeks, you will probably half master the 11 strategies. Then it is time to practise them all together. Think through key events of the day and think about how you could have resolved them differently by using a combination of strategies.

For other parents reading this, the book won't change your life if the skills stay inside it and you absorb only knowledge. It takes more than reading to change knowledge to skill.