PSLE leave: For or Against?

[Chenonceau]

3Boys:

Chen,

so here is where I have a different reading of JT's post. I don't think she said that one should not take leave during PSLE or other exams. My read is that she basically says we shouldn't give it a name and objectify it and 'feed into fears'. People DO take leave during exams, it is accepted. But we don't have to give it a name, and now the reverse effect is in force; i.e. what if I am a PSLE parent and DON'T take PSLE leave.

You see where she is coming from? She is against OCBC labelling as such.

Ah yes... in this we agree. And I read Lilac as saying this too. I don't really care about the labelling part. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. It doesn't matter what it is called or NOT called. The fact is, a lotta parents already take leave for PSLE. The fact is, other parents like my husband FORGOT his son was having PSLE (had to be reminded twice in one week) and so he probably won't have taken leave anyway... especially since he has been known to accumulate up to 40 days of leave :siao: and I had to hound him to take leave.

What feeds parent fears is not just a name...

[Daddy D]

Lilac66:

Thanks 3Boys for sharing her full posts here. I thought she seems quite balanced in her views...

I thought 3Boys is a boy? :siam:

[verykiasumummy]

actually, whether to take leave to accompany kids for their psle, is depending on individual… some kids do not want their parents around when they self study but some kids do, just to ask any quick questions or anything.


while some parents may feel that there is no such need, that could just happen that their kids are more independent… having to accompany their kids during self revision time does not mean that they are worried about their future… that is just an overstatement.

for any new issues or implementations, there are bound to be people who don’t see eye to eye to one another… but they are not wrong in any case and it just apply differently to many people.

it could be, just happen that, ocbc saw a need in their employees to take such leaves as most employees were having kids who depend much on their parents… that is not wrong either…

much as to say that ocbc is a local bank, but it is not part of any government sector… it should have its rights to implement anything suitable for its staff as they deem appropriate and acceptable to their employees…

just my 2 cents worth…

[Lilac66]

Daddy

Lilac66:

Thanks 3Boys for sharing her full posts here. I thought she seems quite balanced in her views...

I thought 3Boys is a boy? :siam:

Aiyoh!!! her meaning Josephine Teo!! :faint:

[Chenonceau]

Lilac66:

Daddy

[quote=\"Lilac66\"]Thanks 3Boys for sharing her full posts here. I thought she seems quite balanced in her views...

I thought 3Boys is a boy? :siam:

Aiyoh!!! her meaning Josephine Teo!! :faint:[/quote] :rotflmao: Daddy D was just being naughty...

[Lilac66]

Chenonceau:

Lilac66:

[quote=\"Daddy D\"]I thought 3Boys is a boy? :siam:

Aiyoh!!! her meaning Josephine Teo!! :faint:

:rotflmao: Daddy D was just being naughty...[/quote]Daddy D, issit true?? I think you're just not following this thread's discussion.. :evil:


ok, back to this.... my thoughts --

If something is made public, the effect will be very diff from if it's done privately. OCBC can name it anything they like, but there's no need for them to announce it as it's just normal leave packaged differently.

[verykiasumummy]

Lilac66:

Daddy D, issit true?? I think you're just not following this thread's discussion.. :evil:


ok, back to this.... my thoughts --

If something is made public, the effect will be very diff from if it's done privately. OCBC can name it anything they like, but there's no need for them to announce it as it's just normal leave packaged differently.

they probably just want some attn on them, some media coverage..

[Chenonceau]

Lilac66:

Chenonceau:

[quote=\"Lilac66\"]

Aiyoh!!! her meaning Josephine Teo!! :faint:

:rotflmao: Daddy D was just being naughty...

Daddy D, issit true?? I think you're just not following this thread's discussion.. :evil:


ok, back to this.... my thoughts --

If something is made public, the effect will be very diff from if it's done privately. OCBC can name it anything they like, but there's no need for them to announce it as it's just normal leave packaged differently.[/quote]To me... it's just marketing. Helps them attract staff. No different than Apple's Be Different to get sales. I could just as well object to Apple's BE DIFFERENT as irresponsible because it encourages teens to rebel. Presumably, OCBC thought it was in line with the government's recent calls to be family friendly too.

In substance too... I also reckon that being able to carry forward leave (that would be forfeited otherwise) for PSLE year is something precious to PSLE parents (no matter that no extra days of leave are given out). It does mean more time with your child at a time when your child is feeling quite challenged. Nowadays, few employers allow conversion of leave to money right? Unconsumed leave is forfeited when you get to the next year? Or at most, you can carry over one year only?

[kwcllf]

Chenonceau:

3Boys:

Some of you know we’ve just had a pair of twins go through PSLE. What did we do? Not much actually. It has been very clear to us that this is their exam and only they can influence the outcome.

Facts and too many people's personal experiences belie this facile assertion. Plenty of teachers ask kids to get tuition. Many schools test beyond what they teach. This assertion is not true for all schools nor classes. In too many instances (though not in all schools), children (hard working and intelligent ones) NEED external help to get by in school.

3Boys:

My role as mum is to be supportive, encouraging and help them if they ask for it. My husband, who happens to be a good coach for Math, chipped in as well. Both of us made it a point to cut down on overseas travel nearer the exam dates to be physically present to give moral support (and a shoulder to cry on if needed). But it was otherwise work-as-usual and life-as-normal.

There are many occasions in our children’s lives when they need us to “be there” which we must make time for. It could be a bout of illness, a rough patch in school or a particularly exciting project that they help to carry out.

Nothing wrong with this. I took 2 weeks off before PSLE just to cook and cuddle.

3Boys:

It might even be the PSLE for some. But I don’t think the default assumption should be that working parents need to take significant time off to help their children prepare for PSLE. We are quite mistaken to behave as if PSLE is THE defining moment in a child’s development. It does not warrant such special attention compared to other significant moments we parents ought to watch out for.

Parents take leave for SA1 and SA2 and CA1 and CA2 too. Does this mean they believe these exams are \"defining moments\" of their child's life? All our kids have 4 defining moments of their lives every year? The flaw in logic is here. Just because parents take PSLE leave... or companies GIVE PSLE leave is evidence that they believe that PSLE is a defining moment?

3Boys:

The bank may have been well-intentioned when introducing such leave. But they may not have realized that this feeds into fears of parents, and that they are somehow unusual if they don’t take leave during their children’s PSLE.

The flaw in logic is here too. Companies give holiday leave. This feeds into employees' love for holidays? Her logic is on its head. It is because parents fear so much (thanks to systemic features) that OCBC decided to offer this. Offering this won't make other parents fear more or less, they'll just enjoy more moments with their kids at the first major exam the kids are taking. Like taking time off to enjoy kids' graduation. See it from the children's perspective too. For them, it is the first big thing and it's nice to have mom around to love and cherish... and just be there.

And........not many people are as well off as them, or as fortunate where her hubby is good at maths and be able to coach their kids thru the whole primary education.

I agree with her that we don't just spend time with them only during PSLE time but other times as well. But different families have different situations and needs.

As I have mentioned, staying at home during PSLE time may not necessarily be to push the kids to study last minute, but to provide comfort and moral support. My DS took his PSLE this year also and I took leave during his whole exam period to take care of his needs so that he can just concentrate on his revision. However, I don't push him to study hard as I don't believe in last minute study. But being at home, I can help to brush up weak areas or areas that he may require input from me.

For OCBC to institutionalise PSLE Leave may not be a bad thing. For a big organisation, policies have to be spelt out clearly so that there are not doubts. If it is not spelt out clearly, Department Heads or Managers may just brush aside your leave application and you have no recourse.

[BeContented]

3Boys:

Chen,

so here is where I have a different reading of JT's post. I don't think she said that one should not take leave during PSLE or other exams. My read is that she basically says we shouldn't give it a name and objectify it and 'feed into fears'. People DO take leave during exams, it is accepted. But we don't have to give it a name, and now the reverse effect is in force; i.e. what if I am a PSLE parent and DON'T take PSLE leave.

You see where she is coming from? She is against OCBC labelling as such.

Actually, when I read JT's post this morning, I also interpret the same way as 3Boys.

Think it's the labelling.....if I have PSLE kid but dun utilise the PSLE leave, I probably will start feeling guilty (doubting myself as a good mother etc) if other colleagues are doing it.

This 'feed into fears' is very real.
These days, I feel like a minority. Almost every other parents I came across (face-to-face/online) would be asking me about the stress level, the need to tuition, teachers not teaching, exams too difficult.....because they read & hear from so-&-so-&-so-&-so ...... Even a short encounter is enough to make me feel the stress emitting from them, I wonder what kind of stress are the kids under. Much as we parents often claim that we will try not to stress the kids, give them emotional support etc.....I believe kids will FEEL our stress.