Complete loss on helping a p5 special need boy

[Chenonceau]

The thing about sacrificing love on the altar of good grades is that Satan cheats you. You sacrifice all… pay through your nose a very high price… and get no good grades in return. It’s a spiritual ponzi scheme. You will be cheated of everything, your child AND the academic success you want so badly.


However, if one does not lust after the good grades, and focus entirely on loving and connecting with the child… this gives Satan no hold over you… and allows God to take over and bless you in ways you would never imagine. And it doesn’t matter which God you worship.

Aiyo… I hope I even make sense.

[Chenonceau]

slmkhoo:

Chenonceau:

The thing about sacrificing love on the altar of good grades is that Satan cheats you. You sacrifice all... pay through your nose a very high price... and get no good grades in return. It's a spiritual ponzi scheme. You will be cheated of everything, your child AND the academic success you want so badly.


However, if one does not lust after the good grades, and focus entirely on loving and connecting with the child... this gives Satan no hold over you... and allows God to take over and bless you in ways you would never imagine. And it doesn't matter which God you worship.

Aiyo... I hope I even make sense.

I totally agree with you! I also struggled with my older daughter who has some special needs and was not doing as well in school as we thought she could. My husband and I realised after a year or so of school that we were frightening her with our anger and driving her away from us. We had to completely re-evaluate what we wanted for her, and realised that we needed to help her feel that we appreciated her for what she was, even if she wasn't doing very well. When we focused on her effort rather than the results, our relationship got a lot better. She isn't a high achiever by any means, but she is close to us and always turns to us for help. In the long run, that matters more than her results.

:love:

[ammonite]

Yxl, I got your pm but I thought you may also get other useful input here but iwill reply privately when i have a clearer picture. Just want to clarify:

- which area of vision processing is he having trouble with, especially the weakest area? The OT report should have details of that and what it means.
- has he complained of any exact symptoms? You may have to think back to a time when he was younger.

These two questions will help to clarify the degree of difficulties he is experiencing with his vision.

From there you have to deal with it in three parts - working on vision processing, working on the actual schoolwork, working on motivation. It is too much for me to write here and I don’t want to go on a long monologue. When I have a better idea of your situation, I will reply privately.

[Nebbermind]

Yes, it's a spiritual warfare!

Chen, thank you for making it so clear!
May the Lord continue to bless you and your words continue to minister to our hearts!
:snuggles:

[ammonite]

This has nothing to do with religion.

[Nebbermind]

:goodpost:

slmkhoo:

ammonite:

This has nothing to do with religion.

It doesn't except for the individual. I think that as long as we apply the religious significance only to ourselves and to others who may share the same convictions, it should be OK to say so.

[ammonite]

Nebbermind:

:goodpost:

slmkhoo:

[quote=\"ammonite\"]This has nothing to do with religion.

It doesn't except for the individual. I think that as long as we apply the religious significance only to ourselves and to others who may share the same convictions, it should be OK to say so.

[/quote]I am not surprised by the rebuttal but I will put to you that saying the situation - which is common among the religious and non-religious - is clearly a spiritual warfare is a blanket statement on cyberspace, a common space. One can say - \"IF you are religious, think of it as a spiritual warfare. \" I think this is respectful and unassuming and still gets the original point across.

Besides this is yxl's thread. It is not Nebbermind's thread. Of course yxl may be a Christian and this totally speaks to her and helps her, in which case my indignance is for nothing. But she MAY not be, and to be told that her troubles are a spiritual warfare is adding salt to injury. If this is Chen's and Nebbermind's thread or a casual chat, I will totally keep my big cybermouth shut.

I cannot comment further without being confrontational. My further comments would also be OT. I apologise to yxl if this mini fracas puts her in a awkward position and she feels I have been out of place in her thread.

yxl, I will respond separately to you regarding the vision/learning issues. I want to ensure that you are not missing out on a vital diagnosis for your child. Long weekends are precious. Enjoy this one.

[Nebbermind]

In any case, I was referring to the case that Chen mentioned, and NOT ysl.

[Chenonceau]

Errrrr… Yikes… My apologies everyone. I spoke from the heart and had not meant to injure anyone. Nebbermind responded to me… So he did nothing wrong. On my part, there was no intention to insult nor injure and every intention to help. Beanbear and I also responded to each other and since we were both Christians, our language and imagery built upon each other.


If it helps, I acknowledge ammonite’s point that you don’t have to be religious to connect with your child. Religious or not, the years spent in anger are lost years. Lost to nothing or lost to Satan… Makes no difference. They hurt parent and child. So… Hope this helps to put things in a more secular way.

Yxl… Apologies for having insulted or hurt you if I did.

[yxl]

My sincere apology to all if my post had caused any conflict in religion.

Yes I am a Christian. Chen, ammonite weather is it spiritual or OT,
I needed both. I needed God to give me a direction on this child. I will also continue to work on the OT side to see if there is things that I miss out. Thanks everyone for the support & encouragement.

Ammonite thanks for sharing. I will PM you the details of my DS condition & learn more.