PSLE leave: For or Against?
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I did not cast any vote as to whether I am all for or against parents taking PSLE leave. I feel I am in no position to comment on how people utilize their leave and how parents deal and cope with their kids during examination time.
Different families have different needs and concerns. Whether parents feel the need to be around at home to coach and guide or provide emotional support when their kids face major exams or don’t, is something these parents will decide for themselves and it is a very personal decision. We should not question but respect their need to go on leave during such times. Conversely, parents who do not see the need to go on PSLE leave should not feel intimidated, pressurized or even ostracised by those who do. They are by no means a lesser parent. Nobody should speak for anybody. As long as parents feel they and their kids are in control during the exam periods, they will not see the need to utilise their leave for the exams.
After all, parents are utilising their own leave days in accordance to their needs, so who are we to say what they should or should not do? Apparently, from their statistics, OCBC understands the majority of its employees’ need to go on leave during the PSLE period and responded to this need with empathy and pro-active measures. -
The child care leave (not for DS) of DD helps me to have a little longer period of leave to attend to DS PSLE.
But DD do not have a younger DS or DD for me to have a little longer period of leave. The additional 6 days certainly helps. DW + DH is 12 days. If 3 months would be best.
DW 3 months and DH 3 months, that is 6 months. Cool. -
Dnls_mum:
Cannot lor. I have a team of VPs and AVPs. They are relationship managers handling large corporate client relationship and authorizing client banking transactions and proposing banking facilities for clients. Where to find temp to cover for them? Got temp also how to entrust with such responsibilities? My secretary also help with the paper work already. So got to be me or their team mate to cover them lor. If they all want to go on leave at the same time, then I resign first!! Prob is office also cost cutting so very leanImami:
[quote=\"Dnls_mum\"]If my company introduce this also, then I must keep fingers cross that my staff don't all want to go same time lor. I already supportive of maternity leave until my colleague say I stupid to employ women of child bearing age. I experience one go maternity leave and another one go on extended MC due to pregnancy at the same time. Left 1 staff in whole team suddenly! Almost died of stress in that 2 overlapping months! The one staff left behind, i so scared will resign from all the extra work!!! If now their children same time PSLE or clash with maternity leave etc, then all are inflexible dates....then I one woman show sure die! Customers not so understanding....sigh......
Just wondering, dnis mum, cannot hire temp to help? Temp although most likely cannot match up but at least got people help to do filing, photocopy, simple paper work. But my organization doesn't have the norm of hiring temp. Only when one is going on maternity leave, then got a temp.
But hor, pls continue to hire women of child bearing age hor...
So frankly, I am one of those who will cry if govt decide to up maternity leave. I also have my limits lor......I will find my defending of maternity leave in the office become a joke to my other male colleagues. One colleague even say that the best employee to have is a non-Singaporean male..., and he really go and get an ang moh male lor, no reservist, no maternity leave :(.[/quote] :goodpost:
I think that it's wonderful there are so many different people with different outlooks and experiences here, in Singapore. And, might I add, the \"norm\" is likely to change rapidly. More and more women are, hopefully, breaking the glass ceiling. And at mid and upper management levels, taking more than a month off work simply isn't an option. I only took a month off for maternity, then did \"part time\" for a few months after that. The nature of my job is such that every customer my team does not attend to potentially means a customer lost.
But it's not a life everyone would, or should choose to lead. I'd say, go in knowing the benefits and the sacrifices you have to make for the job. Right, now I :siam: for expressing an alternative view -
mommylow:
Exactly so. That's why I thought JT's salvo upon OCBC uncalled for. HR Depts do study their staff statistics BEFORE they launch something like that. It does appear that many people DO take leave to be with their kids at PSLE, even men who have stay at home wives.
After all, parents are utilising their own leave days in accordance to their needs, so who are we to say what they should or should not do? Apparently, from their statistics, OCBC understands the majority of its employees' need to go on leave during the PSLE period and responded to this need with empathy and pro-active measures.
It is a matter between OCBC and its staff.
For those who don't see the need to take PSLE leave, I just don't understand why they would feel pressured to do so. The women who don't take PSLE leave seem very proud of themselves... and perhaps rightly so. If their kids are doing well without them spending a lotta time, they must be doing something right. Those who DO see the need to take PSLE leave should similarly not be told that they stress their kids unnecessarily.
Saying that PSLE leave will feed fears and pressure other parents to take leave makes no sense to me. Parents ARE already taking leave even before the label PSLE leave was coined. Objecting to the label \"PSLE leave\" is as good as saying \"You run a fever, but don't give a number to the temperature\" because it will scare others. The fact is, there are those who dun feel the PSLE malaise (few, perhaps) and that is fine. There are equally those who DO feel the PSLE malaise (more perhaps) and that is also fine too. These are alternative perspectives that arise from alternative experiences.
The question we should be discussing is why PSLE has come to a state where even men in senior positions earning enough to have stay at home wives... take leave at PSLE. The label OCBC (a mere name) tagged onto an existing reality is a decoy. In my opinion, it is not a matter worth discussing and I don't understand that JT raised it and slammed OCBC.
I hope people don't feel I am dissing their alternative realities and views. I am not. I just think this JT and her concern with a mere label feeding fears is misguided and illogical. It is an irrational fear born of a real situation that perhaps as a society, we dunno how to solve. Still, it is a situation that we can only solve if we all put our heads together to own the problem (as all ours) instead of telling parents they stress their kids... and companies that they should not label a staff benefit this or that... or make working moms feel that they should take leave. -
Chenonceau:
The question we should be discussing is why PSLE has come to a state where even men in senior positions earning enough to have stay at home wives... take leave at PSLE. The label OCBC (a mere name) tagged onto an existing reality is a decoy. In my opinion, it is not a matter worth discussing and I don't understand that JT raised it and slammed OCBC.
Firstly, not every man with stay at home wives are in senior positions. Many have stay at home wives because they choose to and they live within their means. Thus, it does not mean then that even high flying senior position men take \"PSLE leave\". Then again, how many days are we talking about? Some need 2 weeks, some 1 month, some even 1 year! Frankly anyone of any position can take their own leave for 2 weeks. For one month, maybe. But a person in truely senior management position will have problem with one month of more leave, much less 3 mths and beyond. If a company can do without me for 3 mths or more, i better be worried.
Next, PSLE, why so kan cheong? Parents are also to blame. We are the ones who are trying to out compete each other and achieve what the jones' are achieving. No one wants to admit that their kids are not good enough. Many hot house their kids and these kids do extremely well at PSLE, but when they reach Sec school when parents cannot continue to teach them more than what their classmates know, they crumble. I can understand needing to take 2 weeks off, but 3 mths? 1 year? If it is not for housing the kids, then what? Cannot be bring dessert and favorite food 24/7 for so long right?
In fact hot housing comes even before PSLE with those GEP prep classes. It is truely ridiculous. Who force us in these positions? Only ourselves. But it is always easier to blame others. :heresmyfish:
I know then many will say because got lousy teachers. Why do we always say that the teachers are not good enough? Why always assume good schools have good teachers and so must go good schools? My kids are in so called good schools but they have their share of not so good teachers too. These are part and parcel of life and what the kids need to learn to cope with too. It is always easier to say that the teachers are no good, so my kid is not doing well, then my kid is not good enough or my kid is slow and or simply, my kid is not coping well. Some parents consider a poor performing child as a poor reflection of themselves. Face issue. This leads to my next story:
I know a recent case of a mother in a middle management position who never accepted that her kid has ADHD and is not coping well. She pushed the child to a point of no return. The 15yo jumped down from the 8th floor flat and died. :sad: At the bottom of the block before he died, he was calling for \"mummy, mummy\". Till the end, he wanted and needed his mother and wanted to reconcile with her. To her, he was never good enough.
What is my point? Accept our child for what they are and what they can achieve. Do whatever we want, and think fit, but remember that whatever action has a reaction. Be prepared to live with whatever \"reaction\" we may get, be it a sacrifice in our career, family lifestyle or the effect on our child etc.
No right and wrong, but make your own choices and live with the consequence of your decision. If you need long time off from work to help your kid, go ahead, but don't grumble if you are passed up for the next promotion or increment. Don't blame the govt or system for you having to take these PSLE leave. You chose to do it. No one forced you to. many don't do it and are ok too.
Ok, I better :siam: also. I can see all the stones coming my way. -
OCBC is entitled to its HR/PR policy, JT is entitled to opine about OCBC, others are entitled to disagree with JT's logic on the matter, still others are inclined to disagree with JT's RIGHT to opine on the matter, yet others are entitled to agree with JT's logic on the matter, and some others are further entitled to support JT's RiGHT to opine on the matter, even if if they do not agree with the logic.
Did I miss a nuance somewhere?
I believe JT is completely correct in her assessment and is completely within her right to comment, either as a private citizen, or as the case may be, a senior political figure. It is an FB post after all, not a ministerial communication.
My DW was actually the one who brought this OCBC thing to my attention, her first words were, \"how ridiculous\". Guess I married the right gal
. When I showed here JT's full FB post, DW agrees with all the major points. Gut check passed, not just guy bluster talking.
Off to enjoy the long weekend. Cheerio! -
Dnls_mum:
:goodpost:Chenonceau:
The question we should be discussing is why PSLE has come to a state where even men in senior positions earning enough to have stay at home wives... take leave at PSLE. The label OCBC (a mere name) tagged onto an existing reality is a decoy. In my opinion, it is not a matter worth discussing and I don't understand that JT raised it and slammed OCBC.
No right and wrong, but make your own choices and live with the consequence of your decision. If you need long time off from work to help your kid, go ahead, but don't grumble if you are passed up for the next promotion or increment. Don't blame the govt or system for you having to take these PSLE leave. You chose to do it. No one forced you to. many don't do it and are ok too.
Ok, I better :siam: also. I can see all the stones coming my way.
-
Daddy
The boy is Secondary 2 at Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) now.
The ST reporter sibei notti leh...
Example 1[quote]PSLE | PARENT WHO DIDN'T GO ON LEAVE
'Consistent revision is the key to less stress’
Example 2[quote]PSLE | PARENT WHO QUIT HER JOB
Mum helps daughter clear maths hurdle[/quote]The girl is Secondary 1 in the Normal (Academic) stream at Orchid Park Secondary School now.
Pls compare apple to apple lor...
[/quote]Daddy D, the point was to contrast. -
3Boys:
:goodpost:Dnls_mum:
[quote=\"Chenonceau\"]
The question we should be discussing is why PSLE has come to a state where even men in senior positions earning enough to have stay at home wives... take leave at PSLE. The label OCBC (a mere name) tagged onto an existing reality is a decoy. In my opinion, it is not a matter worth discussing and I don't understand that JT raised it and slammed OCBC.
No right and wrong, but make your own choices and live with the consequence of your decision. If you need long time off from work to help your kid, go ahead, but don't grumble if you are passed up for the next promotion or increment. Don't blame the govt or system for you having to take these PSLE leave. You chose to do it. No one forced you to. many don't do it and are ok too.
Ok, I better :siam: also. I can see all the stones coming my way.[/quote]Dnls_mum,
:love: no stones from me. I agree. Just take responsibility for our own decision & action. -
Dnls_mum:
Errr... hang on. Don't have to get intimidated by stones. It's just a discussion. No need to assume that we'll throw stones. I actually agree with a lot of what you write in this post. I never said parents are not part of the problem. I specifically wrote that we all own the problem together....... the deeper problem evidenced by instances where even men take leave... So hopefully, this acknowledgement (peaceable... not a stone) will make peace between us? I have already apologised for writing an earlier post that seemed to have ruffled some feathers even though I tried to balance all the different views.
Firstly, not every man with stay at home wives are in senior positions. Many have stay at home wives because they choose to and they live within their means. Thus, it does not mean then that even high flying senior position men take \"PSLE leave\". Then again, how many days are we talking about? Some need 2 weeks, some 1 month, some even 1 year! Frankly anyone of any position can take their own leave for 2 weeks. For one month, maybe. But a person in truely senior management position will have problem with one month of more leave, much less 3 mths and beyond. If a company can do without me for 3 mths or more, i better be worried.
Next, PSLE, why so kan cheong? Parents are also to blame. We are the ones who are trying to out compete each other and achieve what the jones' are achieving. No one wants to admit that their kids are not good enough. Many hot house their kids and these kids do extremely well at PSLE, but when they reach Sec school when parents cannot continue to teach them more than what their classmates know, they crumble. I can understand needing to take 2 weeks off, but 3 mths? 1 year? If it is not for housing the kids, then what? Cannot be bring dessert and favorite food 24/7 for so long right?
In fact hot housing comes even before PSLE with those GEP prep classes. It is truely ridiculous. Who force us in these positions? Only ourselves. But it is always easier to blame others. :heresmyfish:
I know then many will say because got lousy teachers. Why do we always say that the teachers are not good enough? Why always assume good schools have good teachers and so must go good schools? My kids are in so called good schools but they have their share of not so good teachers too. These are part and parcel of life and what the kids need to learn to cope with too. It is always easier to say that the teachers are no good, so my kid is not doing well, then my kid is not good enough or my kid is slow and or simply, my kid is not coping well. Some parents consider a poor performing child as a poor reflection of themselves. Face issue. This leads to my next story:
I know a recent case of a mother in a middle management position who never accepted that her kid has ADHD and is not coping well. She pushed the child to a point of no return. The 15yo jumped down from the 8th floor flat and died. :sad: At the bottom of the block before he died, he was calling for \"mummy, mummy\". Till the end, he wanted and needed his mother and wanted to reconcile with her. To her, he was never good enough.
What is my point? Accept our child for what they are and what they can achieve. Do whatever we want, and think fit, but remember that whatever action has a reaction. Be prepared to live with whatever \"reaction\" we may get, be it a sacrifice in our career, family lifestyle or the effect on our child etc.
No right and wrong, but make your own choices and live with the consequence of your decision. If you need long time off from work to help your kid, go ahead, but don't grumble if you are passed up for the next promotion or increment. Don't blame the govt or system for you having to take these PSLE leave. You chose to do it. No one forced you to. many don't do it and are ok too.
Ok, I better :siam: also. I can see all the stones coming my way.
I just think that the label is a decoy. It is not the real problem.
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