All About Autism

[jme]

Helplessmum, how about considering renting out your place, stay with your parents for the time being. Money can be quite substantial if u rent out the whole unit n this might help u alot

[jme]

Lavendery, have u thought of putting your girl in the integrated child care? I was considering rainbow but I needed to pay close to $1k without much sibsidy too. In the end I chose integ cc cos there is $300 working mum subsidy from govt. The cc provides ot, st too

[lavendery]

helplessmum3:

How to get adult to get diagnosed ?


What is husband working as now? How old is he?

Try to go thru the subsidized route. Can refer to Polyclinic and get diagnosed at IMH.

I'm sure your husband is actively looking for jobs but its near year end now. Lots of people won't be quiting as they are waiting for 13th mth bonus. He will have better luck next year

[mashy]

Lavendry


U are very kind. If I were u, I would have divorced him already. Didn’t his family tell u or even hinted to u anything?

Can u ask for some sort of maintenance from him for your gal at least? Does he still see his gal?

[helplessmum3]

My hub can’t any take up any job end up I will to suffer cuz he sure will hav unhappy about the job.


I can’t rent my house its will be a long process … Inorder to rent I need to rearrange n pack up a lot of things I don’t have the time to do it now. My mother stay in 2 room flat w my brother who is just a delivery man … My mother is very sick she has diabete n knee problem always fainting a lot of health problem …

Eipic ceiling is very bad… I still have to pay 300 a month n bus fee 80… A lot of money for me already cuz my son still need full day care cuz he go rainbow Monday to wed from 315 to 515…I work at 6pm from 9am…

See double e, only pay 400++ but dual income de… They shd review the calculation

[helplessmum3]

double e, u really hit the key word"bottled up"

[helplessmum3]

jme, what is integrated child care? where is it what the name, so special has OT & SLT… i duno about it all

[helplessmum3]

Lavendary,


i guess is not your husband who behind all these. Guess is his parents. they are very mean

[jme]

Helplessmum


http://www.cel.sg/Resources_FAQs_Integrated-Child-Care-Programme.aspx

But hearsay the waiting period is long. I am not sure. I went to three different private cc to check. St Gerard at Guillemard, divinity at bishan n kids4kits at telok kurau.

[ImMeeMee]

lavendery:

Based on my own personal experience, its not easy asking a man to seek counseling. Cos guys usually cares a lot about \"face\".


Like wise my husband who is an aspie, he has meltdown too, shouting and kneel down and kowtowing on the floor. Sometimes i will be mean and threaten to take video and told him that i will upload in facebook to show all his colleagues. He has display lesser kowtowing symptoms since then.

But in return, he will have more patterns, such as body rocking, arm swinging and smearing nose mucus all over his arms and face.

If your husbands ever try to be violent, try talk calmly with him. If nothing works, perhaps you need to use the harder approach such as threatening to take video of him taking anger onto the poor child, perhaps it might works?

However i face lesser stress than you as i'm living seperately with him and i'm raising my girl myself.

Lavendery, reading your life experience brought a lot of mixed emotions to me.

I feel thankful that I have a supportive family - please dont get me wrong its not my intention to gloat on what I have, its just that your experience has been a good mirror for me to reflect on what I have and I thank you for teaching me.

I feel glad that you have found a path for yourself and your daughter despite the hardship. There will always be stress - financial, resources, lack of support (society or otherwise) - but despite the adversities we make the best out of what we have. I salute you for your great strength in able to handle two close family members with similar issues.

I also feel sad that your husband has not been able to sustain the marriage. The fact just became starker to me about the mutual challenges for ASD individuals to maintain an intimate relationship. While I do not expect my daughter to have her own family in the future and my rational self is able to explain the logic behind this, my emotional self still feels great sadness in witnessing this in a fellow individual.

We grow wiser with every experience that we go through.