Husband drinks & stays out late - Does yours?
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Even since, my hubby joined this Company (a year plus ago), he started drinking and coming home late almost everyday. Initially, came home around 1plus, subsequently getting later and later. Even 4 plus still haven’t come back.
Same here, I kept calling him until he picks up the phone. He still got the cheek to say "what is your problem" to me. I shouted back, that the problem lies on you and not me. If still wants to carry on with this life - got husband like no husband, rarely see each other and still have 3 kids to take care (2 elders kids stay with us, the youngest one stay with in-law), we might as well go separately, since his colleagues and boss are more impt to him than his family.
Money gone to the drain, life all upside down. Got father/husband like no father/husband.
At last, we came to an agreement that he only join his colleagues once a week.
Few months back, he told me a bad that his boss is making a loss and for the time being he will only get his basic pay (his income mostly come from commission) which is around $3k plus after CPF. He only gave me once for household expenses after telling me about his workplace situation and kept telling me that we got to tighten our belts and checked with me how long can we survive with our saving.
I told him only can last us for 3 to 4 months after calculation. Thought that he really will tighten his belt as well until yesterday he asked me to transfer money to his account.
To my shock, his basic pay about $3k plus for his own expenses and still not enough. I questioned him, what mostly he had spend on. How come not enough for himself. (He still go drinking once a week with his colleagues with this situation.) Tell me how to tighten the belt. He mentioned sometimes he pay, sometimes his boss pay for the bill and same goes for dinner when they have dinner with colleagues, he and his boss will take turn to pay.
I really flared at my hubby, he jolly well know the current situation and yet still spend money like nobody business. But he blamed it on spending most of the money of having dinner with in laws. All waiting for him to pay when comes to bill.
We ended up quarreling. I really afraid that we might end up like 3 years back situation, financial crisis, we really drain out our saving as he was jobless for almost a year and at that point of time 3rd child was born.
Just starting to have some saving and this thing happen. I really don’t know how to talk sense to him. Don’t have such a head don’t wear such a big hat. -
Sunflower03:
it seems like u r likely to have a financial crisis soon if nothing changes on ur end..Even since, my hubby joined this Company (a year plus ago), he started drinking and coming home late almost everyday. Initially, came home around 1plus, subsequently getting later and later. Even 4 plus still haven't come back.
Same here, I kept calling him until he picks up the phone. He still got the cheek to say \"what is your problem\" to me. I shouted back, that the problem lies on you and not me. If still wants to carry on with this life - got husband like no husband, rarely see each other and still have 3 kids to take care (2 elders kids stay with us, the youngest one stay with in-law), we might as well go separately, since his colleagues and boss are more impt to him than his family.
Money gone to the drain, life all upside down. Got father/husband like no father/husband.
At last, we came to an agreement that he only join his colleagues once a week.
Few months back, he told me a bad that his boss is making a loss and for the time being he will only get his basic pay (his income mostly come from commission) which is around $3k plus after CPF. He only gave me once for household expenses after telling me about his workplace situation and kept telling me that we got to tighten our belts and checked with me how long can we survive with our saving.
I told him only can last us for 3 to 4 months after calculation. Thought that he really will tighten his belt as well until yesterday he asked me to transfer money to his account.
To my shock, his basic pay about $3k plus for his own expenses and still not enough. I questioned him, what mostly he had spend on. How come not enough for himself. (He still go drinking once a week with his colleagues with this situation.) Tell me how to tighten the belt. He mentioned sometimes he pay, sometimes his boss pay for the bill and same goes for dinner when they have dinner with colleagues, he and his boss will take turn to pay.
I really flared at my hubby, he jolly well know the current situation and yet still spend money like nobody business. But he blamed it on spending most of the money of having dinner with in laws. All waiting for him to pay when comes to bill.
We ended up quarreling. I really afraid that we might end up like 3 years back situation, financial crisis, we really drain out our saving as he was jobless for almost a year and at that point of time 3rd child was born.
Just starting to have some saving and this thing happen. I really don't know how to talk sense to him. Don't have such a head don't wear such a big hat.
my suggestion is to first talk it out with ur hubby... try to see if he is under any pressure that u do not know of.. (i know many will say, ai ya, who no pressure right? but pls be understanding towards ur dh if u really want to solve the problem and not to pick up a quarrel)
about treating, if he can totally cut on that, it will be perfect, but if not, try to reduce to once in 2 weeks instead of every other day..
see if it can do some help for the time being.. -
Well just an update, it was 3.30 when he fell in home.
Then looking for a cup of tea, when I ignored
I was told to go **** myself. I’m exhausted,
We have barely spoken a word to each other since.
I had to wait up til 4.30 for him to fall
asleep. Hide his cigarettes, and I was up again
at 7.00 in the morning, while he slept on until
6.00pm. Its nice to hear that there are
Good husbands and fathers out there. -
verykiasumummy:
it seems like u r likely to have a financial crisis soon if nothing changes on ur end..Sunflower03:
Even since, my hubby joined this Company (a year plus ago), he started drinking and coming home late almost everyday. Initially, came home around 1plus, subsequently getting later and later. Even 4 plus still haven't come back.
Same here, I kept calling him until he picks up the phone. He still got the cheek to say \"what is your problem\" to me. I shouted back, that the problem lies on you and not me. If still wants to carry on with this life - got husband like no husband, rarely see each other and still have 3 kids to take care (2 elders kids stay with us, the youngest one stay with in-law), we might as well go separately, since his colleagues and boss are more impt to him than his family.
Money gone to the drain, life all upside down. Got father/husband like no father/husband.
At last, we came to an agreement that he only join his colleagues once a week.
Few months back, he told me a bad that his boss is making a loss and for the time being he will only get his basic pay (his income mostly come from commission) which is around $3k plus after CPF. He only gave me once for household expenses after telling me about his workplace situation and kept telling me that we got to tighten our belts and checked with me how long can we survive with our saving.
I told him only can last us for 3 to 4 months after calculation. Thought that he really will tighten his belt as well until yesterday he asked me to transfer money to his account.
To my shock, his basic pay about $3k plus for his own expenses and still not enough. I questioned him, what mostly he had spend on. How come not enough for himself. (He still go drinking once a week with his colleagues with this situation.) Tell me how to tighten the belt. He mentioned sometimes he pay, sometimes his boss pay for the bill and same goes for dinner when they have dinner with colleagues, he and his boss will take turn to pay.
I really flared at my hubby, he jolly well know the current situation and yet still spend money like nobody business. But he blamed it on spending most of the money of having dinner with in laws. All waiting for him to pay when comes to bill.
We ended up quarreling. I really afraid that we might end up like 3 years back situation, financial crisis, we really drain out our saving as he was jobless for almost a year and at that point of time 3rd child was born.
Just starting to have some saving and this thing happen. I really don't know how to talk sense to him. Don't have such a head don't wear such a big hat.
my suggestion is to first talk it out with ur hubby... try to see if he is under any pressure that u do not know of.. (i know many will say, ai ya, who no pressure right? but pls be understanding towards ur dh if u really want to solve the problem and not to pick up a quarrel)
about treating, if he can totally cut on that, it will be perfect, but if not, try to reduce to once in 2 weeks instead of every other day..
see if it can do some help for the time being..
I feel very tired and I don't have patience to talk to him. He will not put the blame on himself but others. These few days having cold-war with him. I don't want to stress over money again like few years back. I really scared of that. Plus CNY is around the corner... don't even dare to think of X'mas, will skip that if I can. -
At times I wonder, where do ‘the’ stress (if it even exists) come from? Work or the home whereby they are not even in at the first place. They just enjoyed lying.
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Sometime men do need some space and friends networking too. I do go drinking with friends most of the time at Coffee Shop until 11pm plus few times a week after our work ended at 9pm. We only do men talk and no women invloved. So, don worry too much. Doesn't mean men go drinking and come home late will have affair outside. Give them some space and they will appreciate and treat you well. Unfortunately, my wife don understand these at all... :celebrate:
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Sunflower03:
it seems like u r likely to have a financial crisis soon if nothing changes on ur end..verykiasumummy:
[quote=\"Sunflower03\"]Even since, my hubby joined this Company (a year plus ago), he started drinking and coming home late almost everyday. Initially, came home around 1plus, subsequently getting later and later. Even 4 plus still haven't come back.
Same here, I kept calling him until he picks up the phone. He still got the cheek to say \"what is your problem\" to me. I shouted back, that the problem lies on you and not me. If still wants to carry on with this life - got husband like no husband, rarely see each other and still have 3 kids to take care (2 elders kids stay with us, the youngest one stay with in-law), we might as well go separately, since his colleagues and boss are more impt to him than his family.
Money gone to the drain, life all upside down. Got father/husband like no father/husband.
At last, we came to an agreement that he only join his colleagues once a week.
Few months back, he told me a bad that his boss is making a loss and for the time being he will only get his basic pay (his income mostly come from commission) which is around $3k plus after CPF. He only gave me once for household expenses after telling me about his workplace situation and kept telling me that we got to tighten our belts and checked with me how long can we survive with our saving.
I told him only can last us for 3 to 4 months after calculation. Thought that he really will tighten his belt as well until yesterday he asked me to transfer money to his account.
To my shock, his basic pay about $3k plus for his own expenses and still not enough. I questioned him, what mostly he had spend on. How come not enough for himself. (He still go drinking once a week with his colleagues with this situation.) Tell me how to tighten the belt. He mentioned sometimes he pay, sometimes his boss pay for the bill and same goes for dinner when they have dinner with colleagues, he and his boss will take turn to pay.
I really flared at my hubby, he jolly well know the current situation and yet still spend money like nobody business. But he blamed it on spending most of the money of having dinner with in laws. All waiting for him to pay when comes to bill.
We ended up quarreling. I really afraid that we might end up like 3 years back situation, financial crisis, we really drain out our saving as he was jobless for almost a year and at that point of time 3rd child was born.
Just starting to have some saving and this thing happen. I really don't know how to talk sense to him. Don't have such a head don't wear such a big hat.
my suggestion is to first talk it out with ur hubby... try to see if he is under any pressure that u do not know of.. (i know many will say, ai ya, who no pressure right? but pls be understanding towards ur dh if u really want to solve the problem and not to pick up a quarrel)
about treating, if he can totally cut on that, it will be perfect, but if not, try to reduce to once in 2 weeks instead of every other day..
see if it can do some help for the time being..
I feel very tired and I don't have patience to talk to him. He will not put the blame on himself but others. These few days having cold-war with him. I don't want to stress over money again like few years back. I really scared of that. Plus CNY is around the corner... don't even dare to think of X'mas, will skip that if I can.[/quote]if u want to solve the problem, u hv to talk to him before anything worse happens.. it is always easy to create problems but hard to solve them... be patient... think of the better future u will hv if u were to patch things up... -
MeiZi:
At times I wonder, where do 'the' stress (if it even exists) come from? Work or the home whereby they are not even in at the first place. They just enjoyed lying.
even w/o work or family or relationship, stress is still there... it is non-existent, or u can say it exist all the time... -
Coach Richmond:
Sometime men do need some space and friends networking too. I do go drinking with friends most of the time at Coffee Shop until 11pm plus few times a week after our work ended at 9pm. We only do men talk and no women invloved. So, don worry too much. Doesn't mean men go drinking and come home late will have affair outside. Give them some space and they will appreciate and treat you well. Unfortunately, my wife don understand these at all... :celebrate:
men, on the other hand, got to work hard to assure security in their wives.. not saying that wives are not wrong, but it has to be mutual...
it is not easy to build that mutual trust, and some women are not allowing themselves to totally trust their husbands just in case of any shocking affairs that could betray their trust... -
Coach Richmond:
Sometime men do need some space and friends networking too. I do go drinking with friends most of the time at Coffee Shop until 11pm plus few times a week after our work ended at 9pm. We only do men talk and no women invloved. So, don worry too much. Doesn't mean men go drinking and come home late will have affair outside. Give them some space and they will appreciate and treat you well. Unfortunately, my wife don understand these at all... :celebrate:
I don't understand why men have to drink for few nights in a week even till 9pm at coffeeshop. Why can't they stay at home more often and help their wife at home or spend time with kids.
You guys need to destress, how about we as wife, we no need to destress? After work, we have to rush home and have to settle kids, their school works and household chores. Why can't you guys be more initiative and help a bit.
You all want to have family, want to have kids and yet refuse to help. Are we women machine or robots??? We have to deal with so many things.
Sometimes really feel like leave the house and let him settle everything by himself.
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