Husband drinks & stays out late - Does yours?

[lonewolf71]

3Boys:

Coach Richmond:

Sometime men do need some space and friends networking too. I do go drinking with friends most of the time at Coffee Shop until 11pm plus few times a week after our work ended at 9pm. We only do men talk and no women invloved. So, don worry too much. Doesn't mean men go drinking and come home late will have affair outside. Give them some space and they will appreciate and treat you well. Unfortunately, my wife don understand these at all... :celebrate:

I'm a bloke and I don't understand why you'd spend a few nights a week out till late with your pals either. After you are done drinking, do you go home and help your wife around the house, listen to her frustrations? Your wife is correct in her expectations of a husband.

Get home and have dinner with the wife and kids!

+1

[straffan23]

IMO, I respect the fact that the men do need their space. However, they need to understand that just like them, women need space, too. Does that translate to all the DH being understanding and accommodating if their wife frequently "dump" the kids and housework to them? Need to be fair, especially in the modern, dual income families. Even for the SAHMs, they need their space, too. My neighbour’s husband used to babysit the whole day once / twice a month - so that the SAHM wife can go for spa, shopping, coffee, etc - minus the children!


And as the DWs… we need to remind ourselves that we have a duty to keep ourselves in check - home should be condusive to relax, do nothing. Not having it associated with noise from kids or nagging from wife, or chores. I grew up remembering how my mom was always nagging. I once overheard my father telling his friends that he was so desperate to be away from home at times!

[Sunflower03]

3Boys:

Coach Richmond:

Sometime men do need some space and friends networking too. I do go drinking with friends most of the time at Coffee Shop until 11pm plus few times a week after our work ended at 9pm. We only do men talk and no women invloved. So, don worry too much. Doesn't mean men go drinking and come home late will have affair outside. Give them some space and they will appreciate and treat you well. Unfortunately, my wife don understand these at all... :celebrate:

I'm a bloke and I don't understand why you'd spend a few nights a week out till late with your pals either. After you are done drinking, do you go home and help your wife around the house, listen to her frustrations? Your wife is correct in her expectations of a husband.

Get home and have dinner with the wife and kids!

3boys, if all husbands/fathers have the same thinking like you, all wives in the world are so blessed.

Envy your wife to have a good, understanding husband like you. Keep it up!!! :udaman:

[josephine_ng]

Read all the posts int he thread get me worried of marriage coming up. Argh!!

[3Boys]

Sunflower03:

3Boys:

[quote=\"Coach Richmond\"]Sometime men do need some space and friends networking too. I do go drinking with friends most of the time at Coffee Shop until 11pm plus few times a week after our work ended at 9pm. We only do men talk and no women invloved. So, don worry too much. Doesn't mean men go drinking and come home late will have affair outside. Give them some space and they will appreciate and treat you well. Unfortunately, my wife don understand these at all... :celebrate:

I'm a bloke and I don't understand why you'd spend a few nights a week out till late with your pals either. After you are done drinking, do you go home and help your wife around the house, listen to her frustrations? Your wife is correct in her expectations of a husband.

Get home and have dinner with the wife and kids!

3boys, if all husbands/fathers have the same thinking like you, all wives in the world are so blessed.[/quote]My wife makes it easy. I was just never brought up in a 'drinking with pals' mindset. How much is there to yak about?

[Raemuumy]

MeiZi:

Sunflower03:

I don't understand why men have to drink for few nights in a week even till 9pm at coffeeshop. Why can't they stay at home more often and help their wife at home or spend time with kids.


You guys need to destress, how about we as wife, we no need to destress? After work, we have to rush home and have to settle kids, their school works and household chores. Why can't you guys be more initiative and help a bit.

You all want to have family, want to have kids and yet refuse to help. Are we women machine or robots??? We have to deal with so many things.

Sometimes really feel like leave the house and let him settle everything by himself.

Guess it depends on the job they are holding. You know, like sales or management level, etc. which really need to so-called 'network'. I have a friend who swore never to marry guys who does sales as their network circle is pretty complicated and the temptation they are opened to ... blah ... blah ... blah ... In the end, a guy who wants to monkey business, will monkey business Just like a man who does housework, will do it happily ...

Totally agree. If they want to cheat on you, there is no way you can stop it

[alternateshift]

I’m a guy … and I think that things mainly boils down to a balance


I would at times take care of my son while my wife goes for her facial, massage, shopping, meeting friends, etc. And I do at times go out at night with friends for supper and drinks. But since most of them also have kids, we would only come out after our kids are put to bed as well.

just my two cents

[Funz]

If it is not so frequent like once or twice a month, I think it is still quite acceptable. In fact, I think some wives will even welcome that 1 or 2 nights to themselves. But a few times a week is excessive. And we are not talking about coming back at 10 or 11pm but in the wee hours of the morning reeking of smoke and liqour.


It has nothing to do with whether the spouse knows who are the people you are hanging out with either. It is about you not being there with your spouse. It is about you choosing to spend time with your friends rather than your family. It is about you not sparing a thought for your spouse, that you make them worry about your safety.

[sunlight7]

Funz:

If it is not so frequent like once or twice a month, I think it is still quite acceptable. In fact, I think some wives will even welcome that 1 or 2 nights to themselves. But a few times a week is excessive. And we are not talking about coming back at 10 or 11pm but in the wee hours of the morning reeking of smoke and liqour.


It has nothing to do with whether the spouse knows who are the people you are hanging out with either. It is about you not being there with your spouse. It is about you choosing to spend time with your friends rather than your family. It is about you not sparing a thought for your spouse, that you make them worry about your safety.

I totally agree with you.

I am a father , a husband and a son and I can tell you that a man who does not love or treasure his family is not a real man. If a man really loves his family, he will yearn to spend time with his kids and spouse.
His \"me\" time is of course valid but should not excessive. I agree with you fully that once or twice a month is about right (even once a week is ok if it is not nightlife) although it also depends on the activity as well eg. I spend every Saturday night watching English football in the telly at home after spending the day reading to the kid and swimming in late afternoon.

At the end of the day, the question remains - why would you want to get married ? A man's lifetsyle when he is single (and I have had my fair share of partying when single) cannot and should not be the same after marriage and even more so, after having children.

The sad thing that a lot of men do not realise is that the partying days will end sooner than they think - either through health issues, that kind of lifetyle became meaningless, trouble with clinging mistress/women of dubious character, friends avoiding them when economic crisis hit etc

But only your family is your constant and your home is your sanctuary.

My 2c worth.

[cfan]

sunlight7


It is good that there are men who think like you do but sadly for the majority of man, …

Just want to say that if the man’s heart is no longer with you, there is nothing you can do to make him come back. Just let go… You will not feel so much pain after.

As for the "woman" who likes to be the additional party, I have this to say, If that man can cheat on his wife to be with you, what makes you think he will be with you? The day when he gives up his wife for you, that then is the day when you know that he really loves you, if he just want you as a "sideline" why should you reduce your dignity to be with him? You loved him you say then are you willing to give up everything and be the "person whom everyone will blame" just to be with him?? If you cannot do so, you are also only "using" him. So both of them "think" they are in a relationship and love one another but in actual fact are "using" one another. Sad and pathetic, don’t you think??

Sorry just some personal thoughts…
Getting a little emo, please forgive me…